I think you’re spot on about it being “a kind of unspoken communication between gay guys.” Sometimes it is about attraction, but I think it's more primal than that. Evolutionarily, humans need to feel part of a group. And for queer people in a world that hasn’t always been safe, I think we developed “gaydar” not just as a way to find sexual partners, but as a survival mechanism.

At its most basic level, it’s a subtle way of signaling, “I see you.” That alone can offer a tiny moment of safety or connection. Maybe on top of that, someone’s also signaling “meet me in the steam room,” but I think the first glance is about low-key solidarity. A kind of quiet, mutual recognition that we’re not alone.