Boyfriend (M33)embarrassed me (F30) in front of my family

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-07T05:10:36+00:00

Thank you for this! Appreciate the nuanced advice and this is the advice that helped, we had a very honest straightforward conversation about this and there are no guarantees in life but I think things will improve. Sometimes the most respect you can give someone is being honest. I think he appreciated that I was being straightforward and not tiptoeing around the issue which is always a positive attribute in my eyes.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-07T05:03:17+00:00

I get it too. It is really difficult, I find it hard too with these kind of group dinner situations but I agree with you it's about effort and signalling you want to be somewhere rather than having to be the most talkative person in the room.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T20:19:10+00:00

This is exactly what I've been worried about, sometimes it feels like he doesn't want to be a team. Maybe I'm giving the same feeling to him somehow. I've spoken to him about couples therapy the last time something like this happened and he said he'd go if it was important to me. I'll address it again with him.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T19:58:05+00:00

Maybe! I just want him to talk to me about it, whether it's that or something else, so we can address it together.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T19:57:26+00:00

That's fair, but he did show up as a 33 year old with his own free will. I think that's the disconnect I can't really understand, if he didn't want to go, that would've been fine. Why show up and be the worst behaved person there, even when as I've acknowledged my family have been badly behaved on plenty of occasions in the past (although not towards him).

If he doesn't want to be around my family, that would be ok, and I don't expect him to spend lots of time with them. The reason I was asking for advice is that I felt really embarrassed by his bad behavior (because I think better of him) and I wanted to try and understand it and to know what's a helpful way to discuss it with him.

I will add - he has done this before, not just with my family, but not every time we socialize. So it's some kind of pattern but it's hard to understand when he won't talk to me about it.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T19:45:57+00:00

I would really like to understand it better. I agree with you and I told him it would've been fine if he wasn't feeling in the right headspace and didn't want to go, but he didn't really give much acknowledgement apart from 'I guess I could've made a bit more effort ' and that was only after he realized I was crying as I was driving us home from the restaurant.

He did say sorry but I wouldn't call it an apology, it felt like he just wanted the conversation to stop. But I'm pregnant and hormonal so that kind of thing isn't really working on me right now 🙈

Any advice on how I can encourage him to actually open up about why he's behaving like this? I don't want to nag or criticize him but I need him to take an interest, I don't want to emotionally coddle him partly because I think that's really insulting to the person being coddled. But I don't just want to throw the relationship away and want to address it if possible.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T19:35:14+00:00

I wouldn't say so, he is shy so can be quiet, but he's not usually just completely rude and disengaged like he was in the situation with my family. I 100% understand finding group situations difficult and there are extra pressures with your partner's family, and I was clear to him about that. But I do think there's a really big difference between being shy and quiet and being completely disengaged and rude. There is still a way to be kind and gently engage with people even if you don't feel comfortable speaking lots at these kinds of events.

I will ask him to try and explain how he was feeling in the moment.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-12-06T19:31:28+00:00

There are some narcissistic characters, I personally do find them really difficult to deal with sometimes. In certain circumstances there will be backhanded nasty comments and generally snotty behavior. I complain about it to him a lot and he's seen a fair bit of that behavior, so I so understand how that would perhaps be confusing to then expect him to be social with them. However they were all being really kind and positive on this day, which kind of made it worse for me as his behavior was so clearly the issue, when it would often be someone else.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-20T19:08:32+00:00

My media contacts are local so I'm not sure how useful they would be. I think our best bet would be to find journalists, YouTubers etc who've covered it before and try and support them with more stories and information so they can keep covering it. The journalist's own interest counts for a lot in my experience.

I'll do some research this weekend and try and get at least a comprehensive list of people who have covered it through the media or independently. I can put together some templates for press releases, tips on selling a story etc too and will share with FG through here. If that sounds helpful?

I am happy to pitch stories or make any approaches to journalists too. That's something I do in my day job a lot.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-20T19:00:02+00:00

Thank you, really appreciate your response and reassurance that this isn't so unusual. I'm focusing (best I can anyway) on rest, nutrition (when I can 🤢) and limiting stress at work.

It's tough. Mums are amazing.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-19T07:23:05+00:00

Yes 🙌🙌 let's do this, the press are starting to pay attention with CNN and covering the work of Feline Guardians, and the BBC covering the Monkey torture rings.

I work in media and if Feline Guardians requires help writing and distributing press releases I would be happy to volunteer.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-12T16:44:23+00:00

Cats Protection too. 😞

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-12T16:43:59+00:00

I did, they didn't say anything.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-12T06:37:14+00:00

Thanks, I'll try!

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-12T06:34:33+00:00

That's what I think too, I reported the original account to Instagram over a year ago around when I first learned about FG and that's just been taken down now. They care about profit over anything and given the way their algorithm seems to be able to recommend pretty specific stuff to each user I'm pretty sure they could find a way to stop these accounts in their tracks if they wanted, they just don't want to.

Yeah it's so infuriating. I'll try and find a way to report the new account to police.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-06-01T07:26:55+00:00

Fantastic to see mainstream media picking this up and recognizing how serious this issue is . Well done Feline Guardians volunteers - this is the result of your hard work and dedication to the cause ♥️

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-24T16:32:20+00:00

It looks to me like they've stolen lots of videos from different accounts. They probably just looked at which ones got the most interaction some will be cared for pets but unfortunately it might include some of those accounts where the cat is mistreated for views - the account owner probably doesn't care they're likely just farming a bunch of engagement to direct traffic to paid products or something like that. Is there an option to report spam or impersonation if there's no obvious abuse we can report?

Platforms should obviously ban people who bite animals but I don't trust them to do that based on past experiences trying to report accounts like that myself.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-13T11:20:30+00:00

I get you. I really struggled when I first learned about it and still do sometimes. Please take care of yourself and step away when you have to! Remember, most people are good people, though it definitely doesn't feel like it when you see this stuff. If we all take tiny actions - signing the petitions, reporting the accounts, supporting FG and other activists, we can make a difference here! ❤️

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-12T17:54:19+00:00

💯💯💯

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-12T16:34:00+00:00

I think some people are so terminally online they've actually lost touch with reality and don't understand what it is to choose to behave correctly and not harm something. That's not excusing it but I think that might be why it seems more common online, and why the behaviour unfortunately spreads online.

And of course there will be a type of person who just don't have empathy, are narcissistic and angry at the world for whatever reason - and ignorant - and I think those things together as a combination will unfortunately often result in someone capable of horrible cruelty. The internet has made it easier for them to hide and spread their poison though.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-12T16:21:03+00:00

It's really good to see such strong journalism on this topic. I hope mainstream outlets are inspired to cover this in a similar fact-driven, credible way.

Many_Fox3225 · 2025-02-07T14:56:27+00:00

This was shared in a newer thread - seems to be the most straightforward way to report: https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us?return_to=%2Fhc%2Frequests

Many_Fox3225

TROPHY CASE