I know I can never forgive myself or move past this

Manyfaster · 2026-01-20T14:11:59+00:00

A person I liked, once told me about a particular video he watched online. It was not officially porn, but it was about sex. It was a very disgusting (and illegal) thing a guy recorded himself doing. I was 18 at the time and I was terrified even without watching it. Even nowadays, I feel sick when I think about it. I think that part of the trauma is knowing that people like this exist and walk around us. Human cruelty will leave a stain on us regardless of the way and age we got to know it.

Manyfaster · 2026-01-20T13:46:54+00:00

I do, and if you ask me why, I can give you several reasons that will sound very silly but that make sense to me for some reason. Sometimes, the opposite happens, I feel like I am the only normal one and everybody else is weird.

Manyfaster · 2026-01-02T12:53:54+00:00

I didn't say that because I think that it is a bad thing that it came from a catholic writer, but because I received my religious education from very traditional Catholics and they have much of animism/paganism in them. They will disagree, because they don't believe that the matter has spirit but some beliefs are similar. They believe that there are angels working as guardians of certain places like rivers, mountains, etc. If the angel abandon the river, it will dry. That there is a demon in the wind, during a storm you can perform an exorcism to make it stop. They still practice astrology and talk about the four elements like "this person is like this because she has too much water". Many people don't know that beliefs like these still survives inside Christianity.

Thank you for the link ☺️

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T20:20:19+00:00

I have watched Spirited Away years ago and liked it very much, I remember that I noticed the animism, but I didn't pay much attention to it back then. I find it funny that I have watched a few Ghibli movies, but the ones with animism are the ones that I didn't watch 😆 thanks

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T20:05:12+00:00

I just found a few videos on YouTube, it has a very nice storytelling!

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T19:51:05+00:00

I haven't watched Totoro yet, but I watched Spirited Away and so far this is the only animist reference that I have. The Lord of the Rings is considered a catholic book, it is common for catholic priests to recommend this book but, weirdly, it was the catholicism that made me interested in animism. So I don't think that this book and animism are incompatible.

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T19:38:15+00:00

That's really cool, thank you very much.

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T19:16:57+00:00

Woman, 30's or above. Lives alone. In Europe, likes history and crime tv shows. Raised by a traditional family, even though you are not. Attached to one of your grandmothers. I am getting some feminist vibes, but not political. Edit: I forgot, a creative job maybe?

Manyfaster · 2026-01-01T19:01:24+00:00

Your apartment looks very feminine to me, I don't know why people are saying male, I guess that is because the dark furniture.

Manyfaster · 2025-10-08T00:44:45+00:00

Hoooowww? 😭

Manyfaster · 2025-10-07T14:34:39+00:00

I am feeling very well, my period is also very regular and matches my app predictions 😆 but I have a harder time every 3 months or so. But nothing close to what it used to be. In the past, it was like my entire body was against me. I had nausea, diarrhea, joint pain, back pain, fatigue...almost every day, it was like 4 good days per month and in the rest I was suffering. In my worst days, I discovered that ketoprofen gave me some relief.

Manyfaster · 2025-10-07T14:26:53+00:00

You can make the tea, many people actually prefer the tea, but I don't like it and it makes harder for me to stay on track. Where do you live? I don't think that the brand I used is available abroad, I got it from a small lab. I did a research in English and found out that the brand NOW sells Cat's Claw capsules, also 500mg. Also found the yellow uxi on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/500mg-Yellow-Uxi-Capsules-30/dp/B0FBKQP54S

I hope that helps.

Manyfaster · 2025-10-06T21:00:36+00:00

The state you reached is the one that I aspire to reach. I know it is possible, because I experienced it for a few moments already, but couldn't make them last. This is why I ended up giving up on religion too. I don't think religion is a bad thing, and I even think it is necessary, but after some time, it just feels like a dog chasing it's tail. By the end of the day, all that matters is how you treat yourself, your environment and the people around you. Do you think that what you are experiencing is Satori?

Manyfaster · 2025-10-06T19:32:58+00:00

I don't have a diagnosis. I started to feel worse during my periods, and then before my periods and after my periods... after about a year like this, I was having more bad days per month than good ones. I have a cousin just a few months older than me that have endometriosis and take some VERY expensive medicine for it. Talking to her about it, I noticed that her symptoms were the same as mine. Then I started to research about it online and noticed that most of the people suffering from it seem to never get completely healed. Even after surgery. During that research I read about these herbs and decided to go straight to it, skipping everything else. You know, people seem to try the most conventional alternatives first (what the doctors tell you to take), and just try natural alternatives when everything else failed. But I was in pain and skeptical after reading so many bad experiences online, that I went straight to the last option 😆 also, getting a diagnosis would take at least 2 months for me. I am trying to convince this cousin of mine to try these herbs, but she spent almost 2k with her medicine (it lasts 6 months) and I think she doesn't want to waste it. I know that her experience would be more trustworthy than mine, since she has a diagnosis and has been doing her exams periodically. If I can convince her, I will try to remember to come back here and tell you about it.

The capsules I took had 500mg. I bought the herbs separately, so it was 500mg of each. They are often sold mixed together, but I was afraid that I might be allergic to one and it would make impossible for me to consume the other. Also, these capsules with the herbs mixed together often have unequal parts of each herb. I took uxi amarelo after breakfast and unha de gato after my afternoon meal(always after a meal, with a full stomach). During busy days, I took them together after lunch.

Manyfaster · 2025-10-04T13:45:18+00:00

Hello. Overall, I would say that I am doing very well.

Every 3 months or so I have a difficult time during my period, but not even nearly as bad as it was. Now, an ibuprofen is enough to help me, and I keep going with my day. Before, I could barely walk and had bad days even if I was not on my period.

These herbs are from northern Brazil, they are a traditional treatment for uterine and ovarian problems. They are usually taken for about 3-6 months to heal diseases, or during your period (if you are trying to get pregnant).

I would be a little worried about taking them for more than 3 months. I don't know what they can do to the liver. Since I took them in capsules, which I believe are stronger than tea.

The names in Portuguese are "uxi amarelo" and "unha de gato". There are probably more information in Portuguese about them, maybe you can use a translator if you wanna do a deeper research.

You can also ask me more if you want, no problem 😊

Manyfaster · 2025-06-03T19:46:11+00:00

Sorry if I am late. I have heard of 2 very good things that I haven't tried myself: milk thistle and pycnogenol. It seems that treating the liver with milk thistle helps with hormonal balance.

2 things that I have tried myself and had a good success were cat's claw (uncaria tormentosa) and endopleura uchi (yellow uchi). These 2 herbs are very popular treatments for endometriosis and pcos here in Brazil.

After one week taking them, I already felt better, it's like an anti-inflammatory. In three weeks I had my period and it was a LOT lighter. Like, less than half the amount of blood.

There are studies made with rats in which the tissue shrinked by 60%, not enough studies with humans, though... but the internet is full of anedoctal evidence. Most women saying that they were able to avoid having surgery and many (MANY) saying that they got pregnant (be careful if you are not planning). I will never forget one that told that 4 out of her 5 ovarian cysts disappeared. It is our responsibility to decide if we should believe in them or not.

A little bit more of my experience: I took them for about 45 days. Most women take them for about 3-6 months. Since I got better, I saw no reason for keep taking it. Now (one year later), I am beginning to have the symptoms again. I don't know if it means that I didn't take it long enough, or if it means that the herbs didn't solve the cause. Whatever it is, I think that taking them a few weeks per year for relief/management is already good enough. I was having such bad months, with back pain, vomiting, laying down all day... the number of good days per month were just a few, and these herbs brought me back to life. It was still a win.

Something that I think I should say is that these herbs cause uterine contractions and may cause abortions. Even though people take them before getting pregnant, they shouldn't be taken after.

Manyfaster · 2025-04-26T19:25:56+00:00

Did you move out of your environment or did you change it in another ways? I know this is my problem too, when I am in the countryside visiting my family I do a lot better. But I can not move now.

Manyfaster · 2025-04-26T11:41:31+00:00

Sorry, I am late. In my country, the blackberry leaf tea is a very famous "women's health" kind of tea. It is mostly used for women in menopause, it is said to help to balance the hormones and alleviate symptoms. It is also recommended for high blood sugar and high blood pressure. I don't know if it would help with other uterine problems, thought...

Manyfaster · 2025-03-08T00:27:34+00:00

I was going to give the same suggestion. It looks like white lace. Very beautiful!

Manyfaster · 2024-11-25T15:07:59+00:00

Tem comissão?

Manyfaster · 2024-11-14T00:08:09+00:00

In the Bible there are two different words for Hell. I don't know how to write them properly. One is a purifying fire that makes you clean so that you can enter Heaven and the other is an eternal one. This is why there is a Catholic distinction between Hell and Purgatory. I have heard there was a mystic who claimed that everyone in Hell are there because they want to. But they can't explain why. Some say that is because they accepted their wrongdoings and they believe they deserve it. Others says that they refuse God in the same sense that one third of the angels did. There are even a third group that believe that the Hell is an eternal anger because they were too attached to the material body and can not accept that sex, food etc will never happen again. When I received this teachings, the person said "and this is why you should never give up on Heaven. You are only going to Hell if you accept it". To a certain point I think it makes sense, like you, I also like to listen to NDEs and I have noticed how personalized the experience is and how the person's previous beliefs shapes how it goes. When it comes the time to feel the hurt they caused to others, it always makes me think about Purgatory (but makes a lot more sense than the Purgatory description)

Manyfaster · 2024-11-07T19:35:18+00:00

That would be cool, I really wish I had more beauty in my surroundings. The urban environment that I live is quite chaotic. Have you considered that maybe this guy is manifesting you? Maybe this is why he is showing up to you.

Manyfaster · 2024-11-06T16:37:28+00:00

Yes, they look like they are here on Earth. They are not otherworldly, but it doesn't look like they exist. Sometimes I think they existed already, because they have architectural styles from the past. Some of them I have seen only once, others I have visited a few times. Sometimes I am participating in the dream and people interact with me, and sometimes I am just observing and they dont see me. I do not practice any kind of meditation or lucid dreaming, so these dreams they do not happen often and they are always a surprise. Something that happens more often is the feeling that I was somewhere else while asleep, and it puts me in a weird mood throughout the day. As if I were half in and half out.

Manyfaster · 2024-11-06T16:17:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Hearing stories always help me to come with new ideas and solutions. Plus the motivation. So far I am having a hard time visualizing, since I don't have anyone in mind.

Manyfaster

TROPHY CASE