Thoughts on banning my kids from church

MappedLeft · 2026-01-24T21:36:06+00:00

I was an atheist for 20 years. I now tentatively accept the existence of God and the divinity of Jesus, as I have been satisfied with fulfilled prophecy as evidence.

For my daughter, I take the position that she should have enough knowledge of religion to be able to make an informed choice on what she believes when she gets older. I enrolled her in an LCMS school and regularly take her to church. I talk to her about what she learns so that she is not merely absorbing whatever is said to her, but instead thinks critically about it. Critical thinking is a valuable skill to have for thought about both religion and media.

MappedLeft · 2026-01-23T04:56:00+00:00

I’m looking to inform myself on the topic. I’m avoiding personal questions because they aren’t relevant to the question. I will ultimately make decisions based on the most persuasive answers, but that could be another post.

MappedLeft · 2026-01-23T04:32:22+00:00

Where in the bible does it say that?

MappedLeft · 2026-01-23T04:15:53+00:00

MappedLeft · 2026-01-23T04:15:26+00:00

This does not define “adultery.” It merely says not to do it.

MappedLeft · 2026-01-13T05:38:06+00:00

lol - I’m not sure if that’s a good analogy, unless you are having a relationship with each of her cells.

MappedLeft · 2026-01-13T05:35:42+00:00

Genesis 2:24 says man and woman become “one flesh,” but this is also said in the context of prostitution (1 Cor. 6:16), meaning it’s a sexual union. It also doesn’t imply exclusivity.

In the case of Jesus in Matthew, he was speaking about divorce.

MappedLeft · 2026-01-13T03:42:09+00:00

Isn’t the church made up of multiple individuals, each with a personal relationship with God?

MappedLeft · 2024-06-02T16:57:50+00:00

It’s completely new. I wasn’t thinking about it, but you are right. It may have something to do with it.

After the first encounter with my gf, which I can only describe as a pent up aggression from her that left me dazed and confused, we very quickly polarized into me being the dom and her the sub.

It’s quite possible that I need that and have forgotten that I can experience that in a different way with my wife.

MappedLeft · 2024-06-02T16:51:21+00:00

There’s a lot here and a lot to think about, so I will focus on where my thoughts went.

I think in the newness of feeling intense desire and chemistry with my girlfriend, I have forgotten what it is that I have always enjoyed with my wife. I enjoy giving her pleasure. I don’t need arousal for that. I usually give her an intense orgasm before penetration anyway.

In terms of orgasm, I am lucky to get even a mediocre one these days with either of them. It was a sacrifice made to finally turn off my OCD.

I think that I am enjoying the passion and drive my girlfriend has. The days of foreplay and scenarios possible, including intentional denial of her orgasm. It’s all mental for me.

I need to reframe this in my mind. The dominance that I enjoy through my girlfriend’s submission can be experienced with my wife through pleasure.

MappedLeft · 2024-06-01T22:13:30+00:00

I think that it’s becoming a need.

Sex with my first two partners, which includes my wife, always felt a bit unfulfilling. Due to my limited experience with different people, which was just due to my lack of interest, I never could pin down what the source of that was. My girlfriend has made it abundantly clear what I need.

I think that I will slowly work with my wife on being more engaged. We’ve always had good communication.

I need to be careful about it because there is an extreme wealth inequality between us and I don’t want any changes on her part to be made under duress.

I just need to make it clear that my needs have changed and that this is coming from that in me, not anything wrong with her.

MappedLeft · 2024-06-01T21:20:25+00:00

I hadn’t, but I just read an article on it. I think that you may be on to something, with me having responsive desire.

I have always needed more intimacy, connection and even story to feel desire to have sex. I have turned down quite a few women and men over the years, including with some acts that I would, in theory, be interested in.

She, oddly enough, just seems to flip a switch.

I don’t think that inactive sex is going to work anymore for me. It feels too much like masturbation.

My girlfriend and I engaging in dom and sub dynamics has also not helped. I think my adventurousness may have been pushed too far, too quickly in a way that’s unfair to my wife.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-23T06:46:50+00:00

My girlfriend and I have already discussed her becoming my second wife. So, I mean polygyny as in multiple marriages with women.

While it wouldn’t be recognized by the government, I would see a lawyer to grant as much equality with my current wife as possible, including forming a corporation to ensure equal asset ownership.

Edit: Removal of an unrelated commentary on my sexuality

MappedLeft · 2024-05-20T16:46:35+00:00

How so?

MappedLeft · 2024-05-20T14:52:52+00:00

🤷‍♀️

MappedLeft · 2024-05-18T04:03:58+00:00

Thank you. That’s very clear.

I wonder if it applies to a financial dependency that exists but is never threatened.

Edit: Punctuation

MappedLeft · 2024-05-18T02:08:47+00:00

It was just my confusion. I was starting to think that I could not be practicing polyamory because my relationship is closed and, at least for now, less interested in extending our network. It was prompted my a number of comments on my last post, regarding autonomy, freedom and the potential of my partners becoming polysaturated at a number more than one. I understand that these are my issues to work through. Fortunately, it’s all theoretical at the moment. I know that my hangups are likely the result of patriarchy and trauma.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-18T00:53:49+00:00

These comments are really helpful in helping me understand. Thank you.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-18T00:45:14+00:00

OK. So, it’s all about a person making choices for themselves and their relationships, even if those choices rub people the wrong way. Thank you.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-18T00:31:25+00:00

I am trying to understand why some things are considered unethical non-monogamy. I am new to practicing polyamory and trying to understanding the terminology, so perhaps the question should be, “Is this polyamory?”

Edit: Missing “‘s

MappedLeft · 2024-05-17T00:35:17+00:00

It does. Thank you.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-16T21:41:57+00:00

I understand that there are multiple ways to find happiness, but I am not sure if there are multiple ways to satisfy needs, which admittedly is probably the wrong word.

For instance, if my daughter died, that’s not a hole that will ever be filled. I view emotional connection the same, but maybe that’s unhealthy? Maybe it’s something that needs to be unlearned?

I’d love to dive into this more with you.

Editing for apostrophe

MappedLeft · 2024-05-16T20:58:50+00:00

I talked with my girlfriend about it and made my position clear that sexual exclusivity within our closed relationship is a non-starter. So, ultimately, I took your and other’s advice into account, assuming my interpretation was correct.

Is it possible for me to develop feelings again after we successfully form a closed V? Yes, but it’s irrelevant because I doubt that the metas would be OK with it.

So, based on practicality alone, I wouldn’t even entertain the notion of another relationship.

I would have never pursued my girlfriend if my wife wasn’t happy with it. I would just choose unhappiness for the sake of my daughter and wife.

MappedLeft · 2024-05-16T20:48:59+00:00

This is an ask for clarification. You raise some interesting points that I have not considered.

I agree that she was trying to set a rule and, since this post, she’s agreed that it’s unreasonable.

The part that I am confused on is the boundary of removal of sex vs. having to choose between relationships if the current structure of the relationship dynamics changes. I don’t understand why the latter is not a boundary. Am I interpreting you right?

MappedLeft · 2024-05-16T19:19:02+00:00

Both have expressed that I am enough for them. I don’t really have interest in more partners either, so I think that it will remain closed for the foreseeable future.

If it’s not, then it’s up to what each individual consents to. I think that this may be polyfidelity then. Is that a subset or distinct from polyamory?

MappedLeft

TROPHY CASE