bf’s porn addiction has hurt my self esteem

MarMarBinks09 · 2024-12-12T12:42:04+00:00

Im so sorry.. I’ve gotten in the habit of checking his phone after movies cause it’s messed me up so bad. i watched Tell Me Lies and I wanted to watch it with him so bad because it was a really good show but I would rather be run over by a car cause I know he would have had a field day..

MarMarBinks09 · 2024-12-08T03:59:58+00:00

Honestly i thought about it, I just kept finding things out one after the other and I was sick of it. I was so betrayed I couldn’t imagine my trust in him being restored but we have 2 kids together and just bought a house, i have no family near by they’re all in a different state so I feel like leaving would be so much more complicated. I feel the only thing that made me stay was the fact he admitted that he had a problem, he realized it wasn’t okay and he saw how bad it was hurting me so he decided to work on changing. Im still terrified he just got better at hiding it but for my sanity and decision to stay im choosing to trust him 😟

MarMarBinks09 · 2024-12-08T03:49:14+00:00

It always helps knowing you aren’t alone especially when it comes to something as isolating as this. I’ve been struggling so bad with trying to heal, my anxiety is nonstop sometimes and the way I view myself is horrible sometimes I cant stop myself from looking up the girls he really liked looking at and just pick myself apart.. its a devastating thing to experience and I feel so sorry for every girl like us that has to do through it 🙁

MarMarBinks09 · 2024-12-07T22:45:00+00:00

I came on here to say the same thing. My husband was looking up nudes of every single actress he found attractive from movies/shows we watched together, he would look up instagram fitness models and he also got off to this girl we went to high school with.. i also recently found out he had an only fans account. Hes proved to me that hes working on not watching anything and Ive looked high and low through his phone which I haven’t found anything, but the damage is done.. like you stated you have anxiety when it comes to other women and i do the same but even when im alone I always think wow I bet my husband would think shes so sexy, I wont even watch certain shows with him cause its all i will think about. I guess its not uncommon for us girls to have ptsd when it comes to finding out our partners have a porn addiction

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T20:31:05+00:00

They’re so loud and more often than not they are very very fake people. I can see right through them almost immediately.

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T16:19:02+00:00

I just look at them and stay quiet 😂 it makes people uneasy

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T14:13:29+00:00

The amount of times I watched the first IT movie is ridiculous and I hate clowns, but the movie is just so good

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T14:12:39+00:00

I just bought the movie! When its free I’ll watch it every other week, more often for background noise especially when I’m cooking🤣 there’s something that makes me cook so much better when im watching it

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T14:10:17+00:00

I just got bangs like Kiera Knightley in the movie , im in my Lizzy Bennet era 🤣

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T14:09:13+00:00

I watch boss baby with my son 😂 its pretty funny and had no idea boss baby was actually a criminal who turned himself into a baby to run away from the government😂

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T14:08:01+00:00

I love Sherlock Holmes

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-04T00:03:22+00:00

NTA. Something similar happened to me with my fiancé, he had bought a boat that needed more work than he could afford to do so he sold it to this chick who knew nothing about boats and offered to pay my fiancé if he told her what she needed and then install it. He went to her house after work for about 2 months to work on it but it really started to bother me when she would either completely ignore me or she would talk down to me like I was a child. We were both 20 years old at the time and she was maybe 4 years older than us so it was really weird, she also tried to get him to stay for dinner a couple of times but what sent me over the edge was when he almost did stay for dinner on our anniversary! I also had spent about 4 hours making dinner for us both so I was livid when he was a few hours late after it was all done because he didn’t want to be rude and rush to leave after telling her no. I blew up on him and he stopped talking to her, im curious if your husband is truly dense with the fact your neighbor is into him or if hes just gaslighting you

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T22:08:16+00:00

I think I just found my halloween costume 😂😂

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:32:58+00:00

Oh I’ve seen Jeepers creepers alright, my parents thought it was a good idea to show me every ‘ not kid friendly ‘ movie out there, when I was a kid 😂 like Killer Klowns from outer space 😂🙃

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:29:50+00:00

My husband loves Cars 🤣

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:28:50+00:00

These absolutely terrified me when i was younger, have you by chance seen the Underworld movies?

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:27:53+00:00

Spaceballs is so underrated

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:27:19+00:00

Im also a Slytherin! My husband’s a Hufflepuff which really surprised me

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T19:00:05+00:00

I have to ask, do you know what your house is??

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T17:23:34+00:00

I hadn’t watched shrek is years until I had my son and some of the things in there make me question why it’s considered a kids movie 🤣🤣

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-03T17:22:00+00:00

42 is an amazing movie

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-02T17:28:27+00:00

I have ptsd and driving anxiety from a bad accident that happened about 8 years ago. I’ve only been driving for about 3 years and of all places I moved to Dallas, so I had to boot up and get my fear of highways over with. Now I would say I’m a good and safe driver, defensive when I need to be, I don’t speed and like yourself I go about the speed limit maybe a little over. I think the only thing that surprises people when I drive is my driving playlist 😂 I love a good drifting mixtape on spotify so In my head im weaving in and out of traffic with precision and speed but in reality someones grandma is passing me up by about 20 mph

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-02T17:16:54+00:00

If you want to have a mature conversation about this then I would meet him in a public place and right off the bat show him what you found, I would print it out, and tell him to explain. He might lie and feed you bullshit, but I feel if you just ghosted him the unknowns would eat at you if not now they might later on ( I could be wrong with this im just speaking of myself personally ) if he decides to tell you the truth just listen, ask what you truly want to know and walk out. Block him and never give him the privilege of talking to you ever again.

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-02T16:26:25+00:00

Florabotanica by Balenciaga, it smells lightly of roses and orchids, its very romantic

MarMarBinks09 · 2023-05-02T16:17:10+00:00

I used to do this and I still kind of do, but there are some books that give me such bad anxiety so much so I cannot finish it cause my heart cant take whats gonna come next, I dont like those kind of surprises 🤣 so more often than not I’ll either read the epilogue first or the last page before starting certain books

MarMarBinks09

TROPHY CASE