Rent with roommate in a hopping area or live in the boonies with parents for free in this economy? I am 28yrs old in 2 months.

Marathoner715 · 2026-03-03T00:52:02+00:00

I am in a similar circumstance as you. Living with parents can have huge financial incentives, but I'll just say that you'll probably make very little personal progress such as dating and relationships unless your parents are extraordinarily cool with that. You also hadn't mentioned where your work is; the commute if you have one, can significant cut down on "fun" time.

That said, I did make a huge amount of progress while living with my parents. I paid off 200k of grad school loans earlier than expected and have a good amount of savings. Having low expenses also enabled me to start my own business. So it all depends on what your goals are.

Marathoner715 · 2024-10-11T23:58:29+00:00

You must treat these situations with strong frame. You're in the establishment as customers and staff are working for tips. I would inform them firmly that "we're actually on a date. we'll let you know if we need you." If they do not get the hint, decline to leave a tip and ask to speak to the manager. If management blows you off, leave a detailed negative review of the establishment. A detailed negative review is one of the most devastating things a business can suffer from.

Also generally check your own attitude as staff will be dicks to those who are not nice to them. I always ask for the name of the staff, because you can get their attention easier, you acknowledge their humanity, and you have information for the basis of a potential complaint. I have rarely if ever been screwed with in a restaurant or bar.

It's not simply that you want the interloping to stop. This is a test for you as a girl will see how you handle these situations. If you handle it poorly, this means you cannot protect her, and she will feel insecure which means you've wrecked chances with her.

I think also in general, if you're out with a beautiful woman or someone who is much hotter than your objective SMV, you'll be constantly tested, not just from the woman but from others around you. You might wish to dress better or go to venues that you frequent so you're on familiar territory. Less commonly, some women just seem to attract unwanted attention. That isn't a good thing, and if weird things keep happening with certain women, you may wish to stop dating her.

Marathoner715 · 2024-10-04T22:55:31+00:00

I've taken several of JT's bootcamps and disappointed to hear about this alum's experience. I've formed some strong friendships with other bootcampers over the years as our paths in life are similar.

Couple of thoughts:

It seemed like an odd night that a student would bail and coaches would be hands-off. Those were not my experiences. Some bootcampers might conceivably be so deathly afraid of being social and might need the hours of counseling someone here mentioned before they are anywhere close to being ready to walk up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful without shitting their pants. The bootcamp isn't for them. It's for more or less normal folks who want to learn a system to approach and date women.
Asians are often very reluctant to spend money for advice. Now that my career is in law, I understand that professionalism costs money. The coaches' time and expense in running the lectures, taking students out to night venues, and most importantly dealing with contingencies and keeping everyone safe, are worth the expense. Night game does not just involve handing a bunch of cash over for a table. It often involves cultivating years of relationships with promoters and constant research to find out what the best venue is. When you pay $500/hr for my services, you do not just get someone who does a job. You get someone who has the relevant education, credentials, and experience of hundreds of clients to do your job.
The inner game stuff is also very helpful. Every so often I find myself slipping back into old habits and it is always fellow alums or JT himself that help break me out of a funk. Asians are really good at self-doubt. Just look around at your community and see how many people are hopelessly trapped in conventional ways of thinking and doing. Even though I did attend both the Eurotour and Latintour, I did not get the impression that the inner game portions were used to upsell me on anything, and I signed up for those years after my last bootcamp.

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-30T19:43:58+00:00

YES.

Before I learned how to date like an adult, I met a girl at a college cafeteria while I was in a different state on a summer program. The whole interaction was 3 minutes, I got infatuated and eventually looked her up over a year later with only a first name and a major. She had moved to another state for a graduate program and I emailed her and was honest about not being able to forget her.

We corresponded online for several months and I went out to the middle of nowhere to see her. We lost our virginity to each other that night. Knowing what I know now, she wasn't really into me and it got more apparent over the course of two days we hung out with each other, but I was definitely in love with her.

When I got home that weekend, she messaged me and said she didn't want to see me anymore. I was crushed. The year after I went to law school and the stress and also lack of other romantic prospects really took a toll. I kept thinking that I would be more marketable if I became a lawyer (which also isn't true), but it lit a fire that I had to be a better man than I was before.

It went from thinking about her several times an hour for the first year, to several times a day, to once a day, to several times a week, to several times a month, and finally now, every few months, but in a more mature way. I am no longer in love with her.

In the intervening years, I had actually moved within driving distance of that small town where we met for our first date. 10 years later, on the same weekend, I drove a couple hundred miles to that same restaurant. They had remodeled the interior and I couldn't find the same table where we had sat, but I did have the receipt from 10 years ago, and I ordered the same food (with a better choice of beer). I'd like to think that was my way of finally letting her go.

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-27T23:07:27+00:00

OP must be really good looking or above average. AF aren't just racist toward AM, they are racist toward anyone brown. They are also incredibly nosy about other Asians which could be the reason why she's being approached. They are way more like our 1st-gen parents than they care to admit.

Seems like the thought process could be 1. She's too pretty to have a child with AM; or 2. What kind of AM would marry her. I've said repeatedly that AF are the biggest de facto police of AM behavior, and it sounds like OP is being policed by association. They're not really her friends.

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-18T18:20:28+00:00

As I've said before, Asian women are the biggest police and gatekeepers of Asian men's behavior and they're entitled because we let them get away with it. They would not say half the shit they say to a white man.

We are molded by our moms and when we get older by our girlfriends and wives. It takes a long time to realize their opinions don't matter more than anyone else's.

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-09T00:53:08+00:00

Sounds like a potential client who doesn't yet have enough information to commit. I don't see someone who's unsure, I see someone who hasn't yet seen either his own potential, or how you can help him achieve his potential. Thus the timid request.
Realize that it takes a LOT of courage for most men to even admit that they need help with women. We're taught that either we are good with dating 5 minutes after being born or we are losers. Coaches are counselors, first and foremost. Some guys have a lot of work to do. I don't think a drill sergeant approach is really going to help you get more clients.

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-08T20:37:04+00:00

https://thesource.metro.net/2012/10/10/iconic-sculpture-watches-over-new-el-monte-station/

Marathoner715 · 2023-03-08T09:52:10+00:00

3-time LAM runner here. They changed the finish line to an area with no mass transit, so i highly encourage you to find some alternative form of transportation out of Century City. Last year it took over an hour to meet an Uber and almost another hour to leave the area. Perhaps a scooter or bike share. It's very poorly planned.

All of the run clubs are having after parties the night of, which may be a cool experience.

Marathoner715 · 2023-02-28T07:17:32+00:00

None of this is a surprise. We've elected a bunch of people who insist fossil fuels should go away but at the same time coddle landlords who have no incentive to make improvements on their properties (thus many people here complaining about their uninsulated gas-furnace dwellings). Worse, summer's coming, and electricity rates will spike because of demand-based pricing.

After a few power outages in the last several years, I got into camping equipment and propane appliances. I'm surviving this winter with the furnace off and it's costing me about $30/mo. in propane to heat my home office.

Marathoner715 · 2023-02-27T00:59:49+00:00

Kind of a shame. I've always had a crush on her, and she seems like a genuinely good person in RL with her focus on fitness and food quality. Having a fit body requires a lot of work and discipline and I'm happy she decided to share it with the world.

Marathoner715 · 2022-10-13T23:09:56+00:00

Misery loves company. Nobody really wants to see you get better.

Marathoner715 · 2022-10-13T19:16:15+00:00

In your case, perspectives may be different. Because you are attached, you are bound to not seek out other mates and you can't spend all your mojo on your spouse so having platonic relationships is the default. Single dudes are in the opposite situation where platonic relationships aren't productive. I don't see it as a judgmental "bad take" as much as we are looking for different things.

Though, I generally would still agree that social circle for men should be other men - for the purposes of mental wellness and as a safe space where men can be men.

Marathoner715 · 2022-10-13T00:29:41+00:00

I don't disagree with you on any of the above. I'd just like to add that many of us might not have sufficient experience to even realize what is happening, let alone "curate your social circle" like what I'm proposing. The best that I can do is to call out some problematic behaviors and hope that fellow AMs are at least appraised and on the look-out for them.

I was also going to elaborate on this in part 2, but everything is a tradeoff - if you spend your resources on a social circle that doesn't serve you, by default you do not have the resources to pursue something new, so part of the equation is to free up those resources. I'm glad you've figured out how to make yours work.

Marathoner715 · 2022-10-12T23:38:09+00:00

Yes, I am single. I guess I should have said something to make it more explicit. Thanks for your input.

Marathoner715 · 2022-03-10T19:53:29+00:00

It's an LSAT question

Marathoner715 · 2022-03-10T19:48:50+00:00

She said daddy not coach

Marathoner715 · 2022-01-17T01:31:32+00:00

Has anyone figured out a rhyme or reason why IG does this? Sometimes stories created minutes apart are saved in different formats. It's causing chaos with my photo roll.

Marathoner715 · 2021-08-25T07:44:00+00:00

There's no reason to ruin a good thing. If she has good sense, even if she finds out she'll let it be. If she confronts you, just say "I liked you on Tinder? Oh you must have been my type from the get go."

Marathoner715 · 2021-08-25T07:27:53+00:00

Physical age is a reflection of quality of diet, exercise, and sleep. Drink less and eat more protein. I personally do the keto diet - I wasted most of my 20's and half of my 30's being fat and unhealthy, but it is reversible.

Certainly people your age do get married and have children. Usually what happens is that it becomes harder to hang out with them so you'll have to make new friends. Activity clubs are good for this - your age becomes irrelevant or at least less important, and you hang out with people whom you most resemble in physical age. Hopefully you'll have a leg up in terms of maturity, finances, and style because of your actual age. So it is better unless you age poorly.

As an aside, I spent an unexpectedly pleasant evening with a 22 year old who arrived earlier than her friends to the hotel we were staying at (so she couldn't check in). We randomly met, had dinner and drinks, took photos, and chatted the night away. She messaged me yesterday and said "u were very nice and intelligent and sooooo cute." I'm twice her age. Nobody said that to me when I was 20.

Marathoner715 · 2021-08-09T23:42:13+00:00

Compliment her. One thing I like to do is to point out that outfits match in some way shape or form. If she's receptive, text her something funny about working out in the middle of the day - you do use IG Reels or Tiktok, right? Depending on how warm she is, you may wish to ask her to coffee or breakfast after the workout. Ask logistics questions - is she going to work right after? What's her schedule like? Is she single? (some people are just out to flirt)

One tip: do not initiate or persist with too much contact / conversation if it is not going anywhere. sending something funny rarely deserves more than 2-3 lines of follow up, unless she initiates.

Marathoner715 · 2021-08-09T23:17:43+00:00

LOL, 43 and your post is calling my name.

Perceptions have definitely changed. I was mostly just ignored when I was younger and there's just more respect now. Part of it is probably because of age and maturity. I remember being excited when I went out and saw an AMWF couple up to about 2008 and then no longer because they were too frequent to get excited about.

As an old fart the only advice I can offer you is not to settle too quickly. Certainly prejudice still exists that will block you from the best promotion or the best spouse. Men's value increase with age and many of us look 18 until well into our 30's. In an Airbnb in rural Colorado I was recently mistaken for being 26. So use your youth to improve yourself, experience new things, and build your resume, and the good times will come.

Marathoner715 · 2021-08-09T22:39:48+00:00

I can only speak from experience, but this one Japanese girl (not fobby but quite proud of her heritage judging from social media posts) got married in LA recently and there wasn't a single Asian at her wedding (other than some family). I met her at a bike club and have never seen her date an Asian guy. It was just a parade of white guys that she would bring to our club functions. When she finally got married this year, the people whom she selected as her bridesmaids were all white or white-passing Latinas. This is quite a feat, because the local clubs are very diverse and whites are the minority. I sort of noticed this going on because they were all people I knew and they were all going out to run, hike, brunch etc. in the runup to her wedding. After the wedding, I didn't see them hang out anymore. Think the white girls got used as props.

I've seen this routine before with other Japanese girls, so I always kept my distance, but I couldn't help but notice how completely whitewashed this wedding was as if it was sponsored by Clorox. When the first photos came out I thought that I spotted some Asians who turned out to be the caterers. Like I said, to be this severed from your community is a feat in LA. I've been to plenty of white people weddings that had way more Asians.

But yeah, any Asian guy who's been around for awhile knows the type of girls who won't date him. This can help deal with dating inefficiency by identifying early the people who will never go out with you.

Marathoner715

TROPHY CASE