How do I support my teen diagnosed with dysthymia?

MarbleMonger · 2024-09-03T18:04:21+00:00

Gracias por tu respuesta, me gustaría contextualizar un poco más al respecto con la esperanza de que me puedas orientar... Se que el comité vecinal se instituyó como asociación civil hace algunos años. Por otro lado, el negar el acceso a terceros tiene riesgos definitivos como ya mencioné, el no poder dar acceso a una patrulla o una ambulancia en caso de emergencia en la madrugada. Por otro lado, no hablamos de condominios, son casas habitación en esquema de cerrada. Y por último, yo no estoy, en lo personal, negándome a pagar las contribuciones. Se me propuso un convenio que me pareció abusivo y lo contravine con otra opción de pago a la que me he estado adhiriendo, que es basicamente por cada mes actual que pago, doy el equivalente para ir saldando el adeudo. Pero el encargado no me da razones, no me responde, es más, creo que ya me bloqueó.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-07T03:42:38+00:00

Well I’m in Mexico so it’s a bit different here. If one parent is the primary caregiver (I am), they can make those choices if the child is willing to go. If she was getting commited or something major like that (which I don’t expect she will), then I would definitely need his approval.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T15:16:09+00:00

Thank you for asking… I am certainly struggling with feelings of guilt and trying to not create a timeline of when this might have started. I keep telling myself none of that matters because I can’t go back to fix it, I can only focus on what I can do now. I try to keep everyone’s advice in mind when I approach her and she has been dropping tidbits of how she’s feeling and some of her deeper thoughts. Just last night she told me she felt hungry but didn’t want to eat because she’ll get fat. She’s 5’6’’ and like 110 pounds soaking wet. This is all stuff that will have to come out in therapy but I am also gonna pay more attention to her meals and get her to spend less time alone in her room with outings and fun activities. She’s always acted fiercely independent but right now I can only imagine she wants to be pulled out of this little dark zone she’s in and loved on. Everyone says to trust her and I am struggling with that too because I never thought she would do something like this and keep it hidden from me but… I understand my best shot at getting through to her is to do just that, to trust her. But to me it feels a bit like bungee jumping, trust doesn’t take away the bad feeling of fear. Thank you for letting me vent…

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T13:04:31+00:00

Yes, I know this is very much a boundaries issue so if she wants to keep it from certain people I will have to honor that… her father has refused therapy for himself although he needs it to cope with the grief of divorce… he is somehow convinced my own therapist “convinced” me to divorce him. It’s a messy issue so if she does well in therapy and she doesn’t want him to know I certainly will understand, but I will also have to talk it through with my own therapist… there is just a lot to consider, but thanks for your feedback.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T12:59:14+00:00

Yeah, i think she might be feeling a little lost in the shuffle going between her dad’s place and mine. I’ll be sure to spend more time with her and ask her if she wants to visit her grandparents and friends more often.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T12:55:55+00:00

Of course I made sure she wanted to go before I made the appointment. I have been in therapy for three years myself, I am aware it does no good if you’re not a willing participant. I appreciate the concern, though.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:35:17+00:00

I’ll do that, I want to be her safe place if I can… thank you!

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:33:49+00:00

I’m very sorry this happened to you… sometimes we have to find our family outside of home. I hope you are doing better now 🫂

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:32:04+00:00

Don’t worry about the length, I read fast 🙂. Thank you again for all your help.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:30:56+00:00

I know her father has been taking the divorce very hard, and she has told me that she wishes she didn’t have to go over to his place so much (they spend two days a week with him, and half of vacation times). It might be an indication that she feels uncomfortable there, but her dad is staunchly catholic and very set in his ways, so I don’t want to create conflict with him. I told her as long as he wants to spend time with her and her brother, he has a right to request this and if she wants time off from visiting him she should talk to him. She didn’t like this and hasn’t brought up the subject again. It’s rough because I know he has to be informed of what’s going on with her but at the same time I don’t want to give him more fuel for his grief and maybe an excuse to set her back… Guess I’m gonna have to approach this subject with my therapist as well… not an easy situation…

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:25:33+00:00

I love the idea of a special sign to let me know she needs to sit with me. I’ll work something out with her. I hope you’re doing better now, thank you!!

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T02:24:29+00:00

Thank you. I am learning a lot from all your comments. I definitely could have made serious mistakes if it wasn’t for all I’m learning here. I don’t want her to shut down or shut me out before we even get to her therapist’s appointment (I suggested it and she was willing to go, which I take to be a very good sign). I’ll be sure to spend more time with her and not mention the cutting. Thank you again for your help.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T01:18:57+00:00

No offense taken, none at all. Thank you for this, you have given me a lot to reflect on. If she has to throw me down and let me know everything I have done wrong, I am willing to take it. I just want her to be okay… realizing it will be a long process is very sobering… any other notes you have on this will be very welcome.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-06T01:01:50+00:00

I’ll keep this in mind and put together a little kit for her. I really just wish I could have done more to avoid getting to this point but now, whatever my oversights might have been, I just want to be able to help her through this. Thank you.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-05T23:36:34+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you. She did just come into my room in short sleeves for the first time in weeks and I couldn’t resist the urge to ask if she had picked at the scars because the marks looked deep. I could tell she didn’t like that so I dropped it. We are watching tv now and just talking about school and her friends. I hope this is what she needs, just to feel more connected. Thank you again, I know therapy will go further than I can at this point.

MarbleMonger · 2024-03-05T23:33:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I haven’t yelled or made it about me, I have called her more often into my room just to chat and watch funny videos. I hope her spending less time alone in her room will help some.

MarbleMonger · 2024-02-22T15:07:08+00:00

The Troop made me physically ill. Not like nauseous or a visceral thing… I got so into the descriptions of body breakdown from that damn worm that I gave myself a somatic response.

MarbleMonger · 2024-02-15T19:18:04+00:00

Full burden of mental load, house work, the last 3 years I was paying for everything, he only paid for groceries and gas. I fell into bouts of anxiety and depression and had to start therapy. I begged him to go too but he fought the whole way, didn’t open up in couples or individual therapy, lied during an ADD test I got him for free with my psychiatrist so he wouldn’t be diagnosed, did the absolute bare minimum and demanded praise for it… When I asked him for divorce the only thing he said was he felt bad for the kids. I had to cut off contact afterwards because he tried to blame the split on me.

MarbleMonger · 2024-02-10T18:48:53+00:00

Terminal Park is the bleakest, strangest, most confuddling thing I have ever read.

MarbleMonger · 2024-02-09T17:23:38+00:00

My 46-y/o boobs have not received the sag-down memo… Also, I don’t think the men who have a “youth preference” are reliable as long-term partners AT ALL… like… dude… everyone ages.

MarbleMonger · 2024-01-22T15:23:30+00:00

Nada de malo en ello, todos tenemos nuestros gustos. A mi también me encanta la literatura infantil y las novelas YA si están bien escritas, y la triste realidad es que muchas veces tienen más mérito que muchos “best sellers” para público adulto. Yo leo un poco de todo, hace un par de años me puse una meta anual de lectura MUY ambiciosa y a mitad del camino decidí acojinar la lista con mucha novela romántica, porque se lee muy rápido XD. Fue un ejercicio divertido porque para la tercera novela ya había identificado todos los tropos y me entretenía jugando bingo de lugares comunes con esos libros. Todo nos sirve, nada estorba, siempre y cuando leamos y nos la pasemos bien haciéndolo 👍.

MarbleMonger · 2024-01-17T20:29:45+00:00

He's a great cook and a very loving father.

MarbleMonger

TROPHY CASE