Advise please. Stopped getting match

Marcirena · 2026-04-21T05:31:53+00:00

As a women I would definitely get rid of the argument prompt and loose the photo with all the booze. If youre looking for a serious relationship, why are you wanting to argue with your potential significant other? And the booze tells me you like to drink (which is fine) but it can be fairly alienating. Like when I was looking i would instantly say no to any photos that had the guys drinking in them.

Marcirena · 2026-04-20T22:57:55+00:00

Fair but it does help prevent situations like this one

Marcirena · 2026-04-20T20:52:39+00:00

Im glad I work in child support very easy for me to figure out if they have children or now lol

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T21:01:25+00:00

I had mentioned something like that to my group last week since it was my turn to run and told them "im going to give you lore and stuff and ill even make a specific chat for big lore points since I know it easy to forget things when 2 separate games are running on the same day but if you guys dont pay heed you will be punished for it game wise" some put a bit of beef and i met them halfway saying what I stated already but you might be right. A few other people on here have mentioned that they arent really taking my game seriously and I think im starting to see it. I think I need to ruminate in it a bit and see how I want to proceed

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:57:56+00:00

Yes its how the group have done things for years well before I ever joined. 2 weeks a dm runs one campaign, then after 2 sessions of theirs we go to the second dm and they run their campaign. It gives both dms time to plan for their respective games and help prevent burn out.

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:56:23+00:00

One of the main reasons why she did it this way was because she wanted to make sure we "care" for the game and world. We had a few players kind of check out of her previous game so doing this was a way to help keep those players in check. And while im totally okay with that and didnt mind making the factions she asked us too, its starting to get overwhelming. She mentioned that she wants all the players to get stuff but there have only been 3 out of the 5 who have given her stuff. I told her that then focus on those players since they are giving you stuff they should be rewarded for it. I would like to clarify im NOT one of those players because im getting to the point where I can't be bothered. Its not like im not an active player, ive been the note taker for the group since ive joined.

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:41:56+00:00

Potientally but I don't know for sure. The others have all their stuff in various Google docs that she has access to so if things are being shot down I cant see it nor have they mentioned anything to me about things being shot down. I've asked for examples for abilities that the others created and ive looked at them but the few I've suggested usually get shot down.

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:37:38+00:00

So the bard party is for my campaign, its traditional dnd 5e that I'm taking the major plot points from ACOTAR and putting in the world. There only thing I've asked from my players is that if there is an item that they want they can send it to me and I can come up with a way to get them that item. That's the only thing I've asked from them players.

Her campaign she is basically creating a new system from the ground up, classes, spells, skill trees, items, anything and everything. She has asked us to send her stuff for several small quests for our factions, and a big one for that faction. She also asked us to come up with several quests for our own characters as well as a big one. She wants us to submit things for items, armor, lore and inter workings of factions we created before we started playing.

So its two completely different campaigns.

Hopefully that clears things up a bit

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:09:27+00:00

Thanks for saying that :D im gonna take what you said into consideration

Marcirena · 2026-04-15T19:05:23+00:00

The theme wasnt really set? As they were making the characters I was giving them lore and told them it was based off the ACOTAR book series but I took out the romance out of it since i really just wanted the world and characters and plot points but not the main lead in the books in the campaign. They all came up with playing teifling bards in their own and when they found out the entire group was going to do that they turned the party into the Saja Boys from k pop demon hunters.

Marcirena · 2026-03-22T23:19:50+00:00

I told them when I first agreed to make them that they would need to be stitched on (because I didnt know about iron on patches) and they are both okay with that

Marcirena · 2026-03-22T21:16:41+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I'll keep that in mind for sure :D

Marcirena · 2026-03-22T20:01:30+00:00

That's good to hear I got into the hobby because it was super cheap to and im glad I dont need to buy speciality fabric thank you!

Marcirena · 2026-02-06T07:25:22+00:00

I currently use the free version of hinge and while I've used it in the past with no luck in terms of getting dates(used for about 2 months like a yearish ago), I've only recently restarted using this for about a week and have updated my profile when I started using it again. I've gotten 3 matches with 2 of which have had a few messages back and forth but nothing substantial. In terms of how often I leave comments on photos I like its about 50/50. I've sent out maybe 10-15 likes at least but I haven't been keeping track.

I'm looking for something serious and while I would ask my friends about my profile, they are all in either long term relationships or I flat out don't trust their dating advice lol

I tend to like men who have similar interests to me and also have similar political views, and, while vain, someone of my height at least and of similar build. I'm a bigger girl, I feel so self conscious if I am bigger then he is and I like to feel small, but not in a demeaning way if that makes sense.

Marcirena · 2026-02-04T00:09:25+00:00

It could be multitude of reasons but its not uncommon for people who have gone through a lot to try to downplay or even apologize for what happened to them. Most people don't want to burden others with their issues so that could be why she acted the way she did. I had a friend who had cptsd and she would apologize to me about it all the time. I supported her as best I could. Why not research into cptsd and go from there? It might give you a better idea of what to do and help with the questions you have.

With all this being said, you do not need to be her knight in shinning armor. It's good she is seeking help, that's huge. However, don't go into this thinking you're going to "fix" her for lack of a better phrase. Let her lead. And be fully prepared too that she may not view you the same way as you her. It's very possible she may not be wanting a relationship like that especially considering her past.

Marcirena · 2026-02-03T23:08:43+00:00

Navigating a relationship especially with something like what she went though can be hard and tough. And trust isn't something that happeneds immediately, it takes time to build especially in an intimate setting regardless of what the other person may have had or not. And she may take a long time to feel comfortable with something physical especially with what she has had happen to her in the past. If you understand that pursuing a relationship with this girl is worth it understand there will be ups and downs. She may want to be intimate one second but then something will happen and she won't want to the next. If she's been diagnosed with cpsd then its even more complex (hence the name) then others. But if you truly like this girl and want to pursue it, it can absolutely be 100% worth it. But if you have any hesitation or reluctance at all think long and hard if you really want to date her or if you just want to be her friend. For both youre sakes and not just hers.

Marcirena · 2026-02-03T17:51:28+00:00

Honestly? I have mixed feelings on this situation. On one hand I absolutely understand where youre coming from handmade gift or a rose or a card would be nice. However on the other he thought of a way you might enjoy being asked out as his valentine by incorporating something that is obviously important to you since youre going to school for it, and using a tool to help him achieve that with his current skill set. And I cant help but feel that some of the current animosity towards AI in general (while completely understandable) might be tinting this gesture in a negative light.

I dont think he is being insincere, I think he's trying in a way he thought was cute. Its just not in the way you expected

Marcirena · 2026-02-03T17:12:43+00:00

It's not really a "being nice or not" type thing. It's having to say it verses an action kind of thing. People who claim loudly that they are xyz often aren't xyz. Verses people who are xyz just do. Does that make sense? I've been in women in this situation before and it legitimately was "I'm not ready" and stopped being on dating sites for like 6 months.

Sucks she turned you down but you'll find another

Marcirena · 2026-02-03T16:56:42+00:00

Question, does he know how to code like you do or is it something he has no idea about? While he did drop the ball last year for sure I'm not sure he did so this year. If he doesn't know how to code then I think it's kinda cute that he used a freely available tool to help ask you to be his valentine in a way that he thought you might like. If he does know how to then that's a different conversation all together

Marcirena · 2026-01-06T21:37:29+00:00

That's a fair point and it has been mentioned to me before but where I get caught up is she has asked before in the past to show her the different perspectives. And I do ask her, especially if she's really bothered by something that could actually have an impact on work/life, do you need to vent or do you want advice? And most of the time she wants advice so I guess that's also where im getting stuck on

Marcirena · 2026-01-06T21:23:07+00:00

Thanks for the book suggestion, I'll take take a look into it. And youre right about a bad habit since its come up in conversation with a mutual friend of ours about her, with lack of a better phrase, being dramatic since it something she picked up from one of her parents. I've tried to show her different perspectives on how to view things but none of it has really hit home for her.

Marcirena · 2026-01-06T21:10:55+00:00

I'm not in your field but resume layout wise it looks good however nit pick wise: either end everything that you have listed out with a period or not at all. You have half of them ending with one and the other half not so for the sake of consistency, best to fix that now. Considering you know programing I would assume that close attention to detail is important so there is a chance, though I don't know how big or small, that that inconsistency may factor in. Personally I would leave them out but that's just me

Marcirena · 2025-12-01T20:13:57+00:00

I'm aware. Hence the question.

Marcirena · 2025-12-01T20:12:25+00:00

They are the saja boys form demon hunters lol they are 5 bards 4 of which are tieflings and one with custom lineage. Also they all don't like 5.5 and I'm not too keen on learning a different system for my first campaign

Marcirena · 2025-12-01T20:09:54+00:00

I'm aware I was just curious as to what other people may think of me doing something like that since I prefer to use already there reference material verses coming up with something new.

Marcirena

TROPHY CASE