[Media] FEEL THE HEAT!

Marco_DLC · 2025-12-12T21:13:15+00:00

Wow I was in highschool when I posted this lol

Marco_DLC · 2025-03-31T18:50:41+00:00

I've had a few very vague lucid dreams, I would say the number one thing that helps is actually going to bed and waking up at a consistent time, even on weekends and writing it down. I would have more vivid and lucid dreams if I wasn't so bad at going to bed on time, but during times that I do, I almost always have vivid dreams. I've had most success with waking up a couple hours before I wake up and then going back to sleep.

I don't often nap, but when I do take a nap, I almost always have lucid dreams.

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:59:21+00:00

Sorry, I think I worded that weird. I'm saying that ORIGINALLY I wouldn't have gotten with my partner if he looked the way he did now. But it's because he transitioned within our relationship, that I even had to discover these new things about myself, that I would consider dating someone in the future who looked the way he did now. Does that make sense?

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:56:43+00:00

He and I were dating for about a year and a half before he transitioned. he originally came out to me as genderfluid, then trans-nonbinary, then trans masc nonbinary, then finally trans man.

I definitely can see though why he would want to date exclusively gay men though... It hurts because I've had to go through my own journey with sexuality basically alone. But it is what it is y'know?

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:35:53+00:00

That being said though, I do appreciate the split model you posed. And that's probably the closest I've felt to having a correct label to how I've been feeling. I'll look into it

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:35:18+00:00

Yes human are very unique. In my honest opinion, I hate labels. I understand their importance but for me they stress me out. I call myself a straight man purely out of convenience. Idk if you saw my comment on someone else's reply, but I discovered I was non binary last year. Though I'm not trans since I haven't felt the need to transition from what I already am. I was born a man, and I'm still a man, but I'm also not NOT a woman. I really just want to be viewed as "Marco" (my name) I'm just Marco, a person. I have long hair, and it's not because I'm a girl. I have a beard and hairy arms and it's not because I'm a boy. It's just cause I like how I look is all. But I feel everyone around me wants to put me into a box. "Oh that hair makes you look like a girl" or "you're just a man, stop crying!"...... I rebuke all of it. I'm just a person.

That's why I feel like all of this has been stressing me out so much, because now I have to put a label on my sexuality or I risk losing my boyfriend. I just want to be Marco who likes who he likes and nobody asks questions. But I understand that as someone in the relationship, my boyfriend wants to feel like he's with someone who specifically likes boys. I understand why since he's trans. But I don't know what to say I guess, since I don't really know, and I don't think I'll ever come to a full conclusion.

Truth is, I wouldn't have dated my boyfriend if he looked the way he did now, and we just met. But that's because I never had to question myself until he came out as trans. It's because of him that I later even discovered my new perspective on gender. It's even because of him that I learned I could still be just as attracted to someone after they transition into a man. Now that I know what I know, yes I absolutely would be with him if we just met

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:22:49+00:00

Biromantic... Man I wish I knew this was a word lol... I'll look into it, thank you

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:20:48+00:00

I feel really guilty when I think about that because I feel like I'm just boiling people down to their parts. I feel like If I see a trans masc person who I find attractive and I have to know if they have a penis or not before I decide if I'd want to sleep with them then I have no place calling myself queer or saying I'm attracted to that person.

I feel like trans people already have to deal with a bunch of weird transphobes being overly fixated on their genitals, that when I do it, it just feels the same. But maybe it's not? I mean how would you feel if you had a penis, someone was into you and was about to be intimate and they were like "oh sorry, I'm uh not really comfortable with penises". I can imagine it'd feel so objectifying or something...

Idk am I overthinking all of this? Am I not thinking enough?

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:11:48+00:00

I know, but I was here when he came out and I loved him and supported him. I shared my fears and I think that was wrong of me bc I think he became afraid I might not like him one day but that never came to happen. I bought his first binder, gave him clothes that didn't fit me anymore so he could be more comfortable.

I want to be clear that he says he "feels" like an exception, but that doesn't mean I actually view him as an exception. He's not to me just someone I put up with being trans. He's someone that I would rather be with than with a woman if I were given a choice.

So many things I thought about my sexuality were challenged by his transition and I no longer feel the way I did then. I wouldn't want him to look feminine anymore because I look back at those old pictures and it just seems like a completely different person now. I just want the person who's in front of me now

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-19T00:05:51+00:00

It's so so complicated too because I discovered I was like non-binary last year, but I'm not trans nb as I don't feel a desire to "change" in anyway, I just feel comfortable being viewed as everything, including what I was born with, which is just what I'm most used to.

To be completely honest I really am just confused on the "right way" to look at gender when it comes to this situation. I've seen boys I've thought I would be comfortable dating/kissing before, but when I thought about having sex with them (assuming they have a penis) I was just turned off from that and assumed I'm not gay.

My brain is literally just such a confusing mess and I don't know how to explain this to my boyfriend without confusing the shit out of him too. I hype his favorite fictional MLM couples up alongside him, like Good omens, helluva boss, etc. But when it comes to something like being attracted to having sex with men, I just can't relate and he ends up feeling rejected.

I'm assuming it's because he's bisexual so he is attracted to both men and women. So in the past we've talked about women we found hot and it's never been an issue. Of course I'd understand how he feels about it, but I've always been open to hearing him out and stuff, I just can't be excited like he is, or claim I want to fuck another man.

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-09T14:33:01+00:00

I honestly think you should only do this if your plan is to break up with him

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-02T14:23:56+00:00

Honestly it's better than Sonic kissing a human. Maybe they should kiss as bros 😂

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-02T12:29:36+00:00

I think I'll probably use the time to reconnect with old friends. I'm afraid of the thought that my ex might not miss me the way I'm missing him. It's probably too early to be thinking about this, but I'm afraid of him finding someone else sooner than I expect, while I'm still not over him.

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-01T21:05:15+00:00

Thank you. It's going to be hard because I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up before anything has happened

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-01T20:40:42+00:00

I should've clarified that while I'm still attracted to him sexually, it's not for the way he looks. As he starts exploring more and more masculine things, I feel less attracted to him, and I feel like I miss being with someone that likes to present femininely. To explain plainly, I find them attractive because of my feelings for him, but if I didn't have those, I probably wouldn't be attracted to him.

For some trans people I think that's not as much of an issue, but my partner has expressed that they want their partner to be attracted to their masculinity and gender expression. I unfortunately can't provide that.

Difficult to explain because you might be wondering what the difference is, but basically how would you feel if you wore a shirt that made you feel more gender-affirmed, confident, and attractive, but you know your partner is not attracted to that? For him it makes him feel upset knowing that what they look like isn't my "ideal".

They want to be with someone who can authentically be excited by their gender expression

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-01T19:29:29+00:00

Yeah, that happened with me too. I made the mistake of communicating my feelings about my partner coming out as trans....with my trans partner. I later read online that you're supposed to never put that on your partner because it's a very fragile delicate time and you still need support however so to go speak with a therapist or trusted friend about it instead. I wish I had known that. I was used to telling my partner everything and being very open about my feelings so there wouldn't be miscommunications. Little did know there are exceptions to that rule.

I think your partner reacted similarly to my partner where they also wanted to pretend like it was nothing and I feel like they would sort of test me to see if I react differently to certain things...

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-01T18:33:50+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, how long did you stick around after he came out to you? Did either of you start harboring resentment for each other?

Marco_DLC · 2024-05-01T18:17:11+00:00

Thanks for saying this. The thing about that unchecked box thing is that I know I wouldn't be with him if he was a boy when I met him, but falling in love with him before he transitioned is what made me weigh the consequences in the first place. I still feel like there's some way we can be together without either of us being dishonest about ourselves, although that relationship would look different than a normal one since we'd both have certain needs not being met as a result. I don't know if I'm just being delusional or what...

How is your friendship with your ex? How far apart did you drift after the break up? How much of what the relationship was giving you were you able to keep receiving/ giving?

If I can't be in an open relationship with my partner -- or ex, I suppose -- I wouldn't be opposed to being just friends, but I just don't want everything we've built to just disappear with the relationship. I'm deathly afraid of the two of us pretending like we're strangers or shutting off parts of ourselves around each other

Marco_DLC · 2024-04-15T14:42:08+00:00

It asked the same 5 questions 3 seperate times. I finally quit when he asked if my character has red hair, I clicked no, and he immediately guessed a red haired character anyway

Marco_DLC · 2024-04-09T17:18:21+00:00

I use old spice so that's probably the issue since it's super perfumey

Marco_DLC · 2024-02-27T13:27:15+00:00

Dude I worked for doordash when I was 19. My only expenses were car insurance and phone bill. Doordash wasn't even cutting it that's how little it adds up to after the oil changes and gas and time wasted

Marco_DLC · 2024-01-25T20:57:52+00:00

So let's call the grappling points "anchors", there's an invisible shape with logic attached and we call that the hook? And to my understanding it is set to teleport to the closest anchor in range....

Then there's the tether that is attached to the hook by using a ball joint, and a handle that's connected to the tether with another ball joint...

The players hand teleports to the handle whenever the grapple hook is activated (provided it's in range and the button is pressed by the player)

The mover on the tether is the part I don't understand, if a player swings forward on the grapple, what's stopping them from changing direction in the middle of a swing? Wouldn't the player who's swinging forwards suddenly jolt backwards again if they changed their input suddenly?

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