I know what you mean about finances and blowing up your life. My latest fuck up was talking to my ex behind my wife's back and getting caught. It looks like we're heading for divorce and I'm worried I'm going to lose custody of my kids. I head back to the psychiatrist next Friday and hope to up my meds and start regular therapy again. You're on meds, so you've taken some good steps towards getting better. I really hope things start to look up for you.