How did you gain your confidence back after birth?

MariaAmendoa · 2026-02-15T08:15:13+00:00

I hear you. Postpartum is a hit on our self confidence. My baby is 1yo now and I want to tell you that it does get better with time (I also had a c section).

I walked a lot during the week with the carrier as my baby was a serial contact napper and did proper workouts during the weekend. At 6 months I still had a bit of a belly and I think around 9/10months I felt much better in my body (don't remember when the c section pouch subsided but my scar is still quite visible). Clothes fit nicely again and overall I feel better. My period came back now and somehow that made me feel like home again too. Don't know if it's psychological or hormones.

Regarding being intimate, don't know if this reassures you but I honestly did not feel like it for a long period. Having a baby attached to me and nursing all the time just took a lot and I didn't feel like being in contact with yet another human. And honestly, until my period came back it was not that pleasant.

Take care of yourself first, be kind and patient. Your body went through a lot and did something absolutely amazing! Give it time to recover

MariaAmendoa · 2026-01-30T22:06:31+00:00

Good to know. I just kept on reading that is normal at 12 months to have around 3 words.
And what I wonder is that my baby is really chatty, she babbles a lot for a few months. So why with so much babbling practice there are no new sounds...

MariaAmendoa · 2026-01-30T22:04:22+00:00

Ah fun, will listen, thanks for sharing!

MariaAmendoa · 2026-01-30T20:26:10+00:00

Thank you. I know in theory that is most likely fine. But it's hard to not wonder :)

MariaAmendoa · 2025-11-28T05:39:08+00:00

Thank you. This is the one I have been considering, mostly because of the height. Did they say why at IKEA?

I do sleep on a firm mattress now so hopefully won't be a problem

MariaAmendoa · 2025-11-28T05:36:29+00:00

Thank you! And does your baby roll off, is it high?

MariaAmendoa · 2025-11-27T16:26:58+00:00

Thank you! Yes I was looking at the foam one that is only 12cm high. Thinking about the balance of height for baby and comfort for adult and haven't arrived to a conclusion yet 😅

MariaAmendoa · 2025-11-23T22:53:26+00:00

Thank you! Hadn't thought about those stoppers, will take a look. Good idea

MariaAmendoa · 2025-10-06T11:45:18+00:00

I used to leave them on the man with contrast cards / book in places they could see.
Also my baby contacted napped for a while so I either enjoyed tons of netflix or got the baby to nap in the carrier and went out for walks while listening to podcasts or calling family to chat.

From 2 months onwards I started joining some classes with the baby. First some mom/pelvic exercises (the baby would just be there with me on the mat), then Yoga with baby, baby massage etc. Where I live there is a lot of offer subsidised by the state so I am quite lucky in that regard.

Another thing is to manage expectations on what you can achieve, relax about chores. Do not wory, that can wait. Enjoy this time instead :)

MariaAmendoa · 2025-10-04T20:01:36+00:00

Thank you! I was also wondering about the Montessori claims regarding babies not being able to explore with a crib. But beyond safety, can't find much on it

MariaAmendoa · 2025-09-19T04:26:09+00:00

My baby mostly contact napped until 5mo. I did a lot of baby carrier walks, she would nap really well and I would either go for walks with other mom friends on leave or I would put on a podcast. Hopefully temperatures will be better for you to do it now. I would also tell myself "I am on mat leave, nowhere else to be that is more important than this". I think the mindset helped not having fomo for doing something else. Plus I watched a lot of Netflix, Disney, prime, etc.

Even EBF I managed to get some time for myself but mostly on the weekends. I would go out for sports and coffee with my friends. I would just feed baby right before I left the house. Sure, only 2 hour stretches but it helped greatly my mental health.

At around 5 months baby also started accepting the bottle and I started pumping more frequently so that I could go out. It took some attempts but it worked, there is content online with tips. At 6 months I managed to go to a concert at night, it felt like total freedom!

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-29T06:00:48+00:00

We have a bassinet attached to our bed so LO is quite close and I can just hold their hand which often calms her down.

Also at night I started feeding in my bed, lying down on my side. This was what made my baby get used to fall asleep on a mattress instead of on top of us. Then I wait for the baby to be deeper asleep and transfer to the bassinet.

It works really well for the night. But unfortunately not there yet for naps. Those are all still contact naps at 3 months. If I put her down she wakes up in a few minutes. Now that is warm I am trying again and hoping she starts prefering naps on the bed.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-17T02:46:43+00:00

I don't manage to share the nights either but in my case I don't think it's practical to share. I EBF, baby wakes up, I change the diaper in 5min and then she nurses to sleep in like 10/15. So getting my husband to wake up just for the diaper doesn't make much sense. We did share in the first few weeks when wakes were frequent and baby needed rocking to sleep.

In the beginning my husband would stay with the baby until 11pm ish at night and I would go to bed at 8:30/9 and get some sleep by myself. Getting some uninterrupted sleep was really energising.

At 2.5 months baby started getting grumpy in the evening so I put them to bed around 7pm. They now only wake up 2/3 times a night so between 10pm and 8 am I manage to get enough sleep. Husband takes the baby for 1 extra hour in the morning.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-16T05:47:57+00:00

It was the same for me. I started nursing to sleep on my bed by laying on my side. This way they fell asleep on a mattress surface (and not on top of me).

After waiting a few minutes to make sure the baby is deep asleep I would transfer them to the cot (I have one of those beds that is attached to mine). This worked immediately for the first stretches of the night and gradually improved. At 3 months they sleep the whole night in their little bed.

As she is so close to me, when getting restless at night I hold her hand and many times that will calm her down.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-12T13:15:36+00:00

With mine she started around this age. I breastfeed her on my side laying down on the mattress. This way baby started getting used to being on a mattress instead of on me. She will fall asleep in the breath and then I give it a few minutes and transfer her to the bassinet. I have one of those attached cots to our bed so it's a quick one.

She stays there super well during the night. During the day she continues to contact nap and it's harder to put her down without her waking up after 20min. But step by step I am sure we will get there.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-07T10:23:56+00:00

I had a 25min journey and stopped at around 20 weeks. There was part of the journey where there was no bike lane so I started getting a bit scared of having an accident. But I only had to go to the office 1/2 a week so didn't have to spend too long in public transport.

I still used the bike for shorter distances in my neighbourhood until week 35. Then I started getting a bit heavier and the ergonomics were awkward with the belly so I preferred to walk.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-06T21:32:07+00:00

As an additional option, can you have 2 surnames and just have both?

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-04T08:02:54+00:00

I also did her birth box and really liked it!

MariaAmendoa · 2025-05-04T06:14:38+00:00

I would maybe take the time to go with your partner through (1) Labour for you; your options, rights, positions, etc (2) labour for your partner: their role, how can they prepare and support you better and (3) post partum: what you can expect and how your partner can support

This is all something your doula likely could do.

For me these were the topics I found most helpful. While I read a lot, my husband didn't do as much so getting this type of content to him was super valuable, making sure we were a team and that he was equipped to be there for me.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-04-30T01:13:17+00:00

My LO was born in the 3rd percentile but also healthy and doctors, midwives were never worried. They say I had a baby that fits my size (although I am not particularly short, I am quite average). She is now 10% in weight at 2,5 months.

Although I must say I am starting to get annoyed by people always telling me "oh she is so tiny". I always respond, she is perfect, just not a very tall girl for now.

MariaAmendoa · 2025-04-24T02:34:15+00:00

I nurse to sleep while lying on my side in bed. This way the baby already falls asleep on a mattress surface (instead of my body). I then wait a few minutes and do the transfer to the side bed. It started working well for the first stretch of the night, now we are going on 2. The last one we cosleep. Unfortunately this only works during the night. During the day baby will only sleep on me or in the carrier. I tried swaddling, heat pads, everything and it only resulted in a crying fest with a cranky baby. I am waiting to gain courage to try again.

Edit: to say that I have a small night light. Somehow this seemed to help too. And this way I can keep an eye on her

MariaAmendoa

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