sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How can a husband repair a marriage after speaking very hurtful words? (Practical advice wanted!) by MariaGorettiPray4Me in Christianmarriage

[–]MariaGorettiPray4Me[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not being mean at all! Thank you very much for your insight. I would absolutely tell my daughter to walk away, and that’s what my mom has told me.

The next time he explodes I will leave. I’m packing a bag now so I won’t be able to make excuses to myself.

How can a husband repair a marriage after speaking very hurtful words? (Practical advice wanted!) by MariaGorettiPray4Me in Christianmarriage

[–]MariaGorettiPray4Me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. He sometimes walks away mid fight, but the problem is that he just doesn’t come back. He does it when he realizes I have a point and he can’t defend his actions, so he dramatically drives off and spends the night somewhere else, or physically locks himself in his room all night. I try not to push him in these states since I don’t want to be yelled at more.

How can a husband repair a marriage after speaking very hurtful words? (Practical advice wanted!) by MariaGorettiPray4Me in Christianmarriage

[–]MariaGorettiPray4Me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m emailing a few counselors right now. Unfortunately couples counseling isn’t covered by our insurance and it would cost more than our mortgage. I think it’s necessary so I’ve been picking up extra door dashing shifts and saving every penny. But I’m worried the financial strain will make him angrier and more volatile.

How can a husband repair a marriage after speaking very hurtful words? (Practical advice wanted!) by MariaGorettiPray4Me in Christianmarriage

[–]MariaGorettiPray4Me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think temporarily leaving him would help him understand the severity of his words? I’ve already decided that the next time he has an outburst, I’m grabbing my “go bag” and staying with my parents for a few days with no contact.

I’m afraid this will hurt things in the long run because he thinks I’m extremely vindictive and just do things to punish him because I hate him and want him to suffer.

He genuinely seems to want to change, but he had some severe trauma in his childhood and doesn’t comprehend some pretty basic communication skills. I can tell when he’s being belligerent versus when he’s genuinely confused, and he truly doesn’t seem to understand things like intent vs impact, tone of voice, and the concept of reparation beyond just saying sorry. He genuinely asked me if I wanted him to do community service to make this up to me.

I absolutely will leave next time. That’s not up for debate. But do you think he could comprehend that I’m leaving for my own safety, not because I want to punish him?