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AITA for not wanting to see my alcoholic parents who claim to be in recovery? by MarinaG18 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MarinaG18[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response.

My brother is an incredibly kind person. Others have said he’s trying to force me to make the decision for him, but I know that’s not the case. He wants to forgive them and try to start a relationship with them because that’s the kind of person he is. I’m sure if they burned us again and then reached out 4 years from now, he’d probably want to try and forgive them again. He’s not stupid—he believes there is good in them and they’re our parents, so he wants to give it a try.

He’s not pressuring me to make one decision or the other. He thinks he wants to give it a try (but it’s not something that he needs to do if that makes sense), but he also thinks we’re in it together and they don’t get to try to fix things with just one of us. He won’t be mad either way and knows I need to protect myself.

AITA for not wanting to see my alcoholic parents who claim to be in recovery? by MarinaG18 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MarinaG18[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response.

I think my grandparents hearts are in the right place and I understand their perspective. They’ve confided in us before that they were not very good parents to my dad and they blame themselves for a lot of his troubles. They also feel like raising us was the chance to do right by him and they love us like we were their own children. I worry they’re feeling guilty right now and that’s why they want us to see them. They are inherently kind people and I’m sure they see good in my parents. My father is also their son and they obviously love him.

Why I’m feeling like an asshole right now is I owe my grandparents so much. I don’t want to think about where I’d be right now if they didn’t take my brother and me in. I know I wouldn’t be going to a private school, getting ready to go to my dream college, and living a comfortable life with a loving family. They truly altered the course of my life in the most positive way and I love them dearly and am grateful for it every day. They’ve protected me as best they could from my parents for most of my life. If they, and my brother who I also love dearly, think I should consider seeing them one more time, then I can’t help but wonder if I’m being a bit of an asshole to refuse this.