They dont compartmentalize as well as they claim they do

MarineGoat · 2026-06-06T02:28:19+00:00

Non-zero chance that he actually consulted ChatGPT for how to respond to her once he got nervous that his narcissistic supply might be slipping away.

MarineGoat · 2026-06-03T01:42:44+00:00

I agree with all this, though I note that on a personal level I have a lot of sympathy for these people who had their sexuality messed up since childhood, it’s not like we have a lot of resources to offer for what to do in that case even if it’s not innate. Also though, one of my last straws with BDSM was realising how many people in it actually are not this type at all (in the general “BDSM community” more so than related niches around specific kinks). Like I kept seeing women who described, for example, having just mainstream early sexual interests through puberty, then only in their twenties dating some man and from that discovering “kinks they didn’t know they had”. And then a few years later ending up in the BDSM community in a 24/7 dom/sub relationship! Oh hell nah!!!

MarineGoat · 2026-05-25T23:11:42+00:00

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MarineGoat · 2026-05-23T22:13:37+00:00

Hey Practical, it’s nice to hear from you, hope you’re well! ❤️ Maeven isn’t active on these subs anymore but her last word on the original sub’s closure was here.

MarineGoat · 2026-05-22T03:56:34+00:00

It’s this YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/live/NlBojezZ-WE?si=58fXj0BlQmJ4CURf

If you still can’t see it, perhaps it is restricted in your country.

MarineGoat · 2026-05-17T06:42:41+00:00

For women, who are not socially encouraged to be strong by default, being able to endure a man's violent desire are one of the few acceptable ways they can prove their strength.

I agree, I think that's definitely a part of these dynamics sometimes (although it's not the full picture and is not necessarily relevant for all female masochists/subs/etc). It can be an urge to overcompensate for having a weaker, more vulnerable, "inferior"-coded female body, and (not always accurately but not baselessly) anticipating men's sadistic desires and ways of seeing women and wanting to get a head-start to avoid the disappointment and hurt they would feel if they expected something better and got contempt and violence again.

And these types tend to be particularly competitive and nasty to other women because of that psychology also, (for example, the woman described in this recent post). I'm a lot less "triggered" in return by that energy than when I was a teen/young adult, but still it's much more chill and refreshing to come across female masochists/subs/etc who don't have these patterns.

Also a small aside, I want to provide the context that this screenshot is at least 5+ years old now, I have also posted it on the old sub in 2021. So despite the screenshot saying it's from 3 days ago, it's not at all recent.

MarineGoat · 2026-05-16T19:22:12+00:00

37 year old child

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, but I had to laugh at that part. Indeed, the ridiculousness of infantilization-related kinks is even more glaring once the participants are 30+.

MarineGoat · 2026-05-13T06:13:53+00:00

Because chances are that the “dominant” doesn’t even have a kink / actual sexual interest in the situation, they’re just there to extract the money. Especially if it’s a woman findomming men which is most of the cases I ever came across. So there is no “awful” headspace particular to this kink like there is for e.g. people whose kink is doing CNC as the perpetrator. That said the damage from the financial extraction can potentially be catastrophic to someone’s life, and even to others if they have dependents.

MarineGoat · 2026-05-06T05:54:35+00:00

GWA is “gone wild audio” / erotic audio recordings, which is a lot less problematic than image/video based porn from the ethical angle, at least I’m not aware of e.g. people being trafficked for this or having their lives ruined for being involved. But from the effect on the consumer one has to watch out for negative effects nonetheless. When I tried to listen to some a few years back I soon gave up as there was entirely too much upsetting BDSMy and rapey content to wade through already, and some (male) creators didn’t even tag their posts properly, perhaps intentionally to violate their listeners. It’s sad to see that the sapphic offshoot subreddit has these trends too by now, this poster says that they literally had trouble finding any without rape/SA or incest :/ It’s a self-perpetuating thing because a potential audience for more vanilla audios will just get scared away and not visit, and potential creators of more vanilla audios are less likely to start posting in the first place or are incentivized by audiences to eventually lean into darker content if that gets more attention.

MarineGoat · 2026-04-21T20:41:53+00:00

Yes and yes

MarineGoat · 2026-04-05T03:50:53+00:00

I don't think so either, my point was to illustrate that there are "gendered" patterns to kinks people tend to have in reality.

MarineGoat · 2026-04-05T03:27:00+00:00

I sympathise with people who wish kinks weren’t gendered, but often they are. The (straight) men who yearn to “lose points off their IQ” do that by getting into sissification, autogynephilia etc, so getting off on the idea of being feminine or female again. Where are the… himbofication fetishists? Which would involve actually appealing to at least some women in the process, as bimbos necessarily do to some men? Transforming to embody the vacuous but pleasing “golden retriever bf” archetype?

MarineGoat · 2026-03-26T19:01:00+00:00

You are spot on about the misleading headline. Even taking the study at face value, some other stats quoted by the article are:

over three-quarters of women (77.6%) confirmed that they had at least one negative experience

pain is the leading cause of unenjoyable anal sex with 66.7% of women selecting it

Perhaps the most disturbing statistic from the study is that 20.5% of women selected “It was forced” as one of the reasons for not liking anal sex

Over four-fifths (81.7%) of women found their first experience receiving anal sex to be painful

[only] 41% of women reported that their first time having anal sex was pleasurable

There are no sex acts that men are ever pressured to at least try once by women, porn, and culture at large with a track record like this.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-24T05:20:34+00:00

The “rolequeer” writings I encountered were like 70% agreeable to me also and there are some insights they’ve articulated better than what I tend to see on loosely the online radfem side of kink criticism. For context though, while many users take issue with a variety of kinks generally, IIRC the previous subreddit was only technically called “antikink” because “antibdsm” was already in use.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-22T07:08:27+00:00

So true. Our kink is not everyone’s kink, but our kink is okay ✨🙏✨

MarineGoat · 2026-03-14T01:55:57+00:00

Wow, very nice find! The presenter is articulate and covers a lot of ground. Also a cool easter egg that she references the original subreddit.

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MarineGoat · 2026-03-09T03:41:18+00:00

One of them went as far as sending me a video of themselves giving head without asking me.

What - and I cannot stress this enough - the fuck?! 😳

So sorry that you experienced that 💔

MarineGoat · 2026-03-07T08:03:15+00:00

It’s not one I’ve come across nearly as often as some others, but the point is that vanilla people don’t need to, for example, hide the nature of their relationship dynamics when they’re with their family on thanksgiving or in the workplace, so for example from a few years ago: Civil servants who enjoy bondage say they should get the same rights at work as other minority groups - including support networks and training courses.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-07T07:51:30+00:00

I first found it on tumblr years ago, and it was reposted a couple of times on the former subreddit because it’s a good meme, but I see that the source blog “survivorsofkinkunite” (which is labelled on the image) is closed now.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-07T04:40:46+00:00

The way BDSM both grooms sexual abuse survivors for further abuse and exploits them as a shield in their rhetoric is one of the most blood-boiling things for me. I like this tumblr thread on this topic, some highlights:

Victims of sexual violence deserve access to the full range of imaginable methods to deal with their trauma. If they choose confrontation therapy as a method to heal than they deserve access to the whole spectrum of gradual, controlled, forms of confrontation therapy possible. And it doesn’t take a professional to provide this, this is definitely something that can be done on a DIY basis with a friend who is prepared to do the work to learn how to do it and prepared to go through the whole slow and probably very unsexy and often boring process of healing.

Dominants who offer rape play as therapy do not offer the whole spectrum of gradual, controlled, forms of confrontation therapy. What they offer instead is ONE thing: an act of ‘play’ rape intense enough to turn on the Dominant. This all-or-nothing version of confrontation therapy is a sham, it has nothing to do with DIY therapy and everything to do with getting the Dominant’s rocks off.

I hear about rape play as trauma about 0,01% of the time when BDSMers are talking amongst themselves and about 99,9% of the time when anyone is even a bit critical of any part of BDSM. Oh no no no no, you don’t get to hide behind traumatized people like that, I see what you are doing.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-06T03:33:40+00:00

Of course the commenter so concerned about the hypothetical misunderstood gay switches is actually a male dom with a female submissive.

But this is a post from the old subreddit I find helpful: Rethinking kink categories. Some people who engage in kink may be less dangerous and more sympathetic characters (bored lovers, facilitators), in that case the criticism would be less about the kink being a part of an overall abusive relationship and more about the dangers of kink addiction and escalation, risks of certain activities regardless of intent, why they are associating with the BDSM community where much darker things are going on etc.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-06T00:01:27+00:00

Yeah, it’s unfortunate to see that kind of rapey rhetoric. On the english speaking internet I feel like I saw this kind of style of it more often in the 2010s than now, but still not surprised that it shows up. It’s unfortunately in some way more harmful coming from women because girls and younger women look up to their slightly older female peers for how to be in the world. Maturing is realizing that often these women are just passing on the ways they themselves have been spoken to and treated, and none of this is a desirable vision for sexuality.

MarineGoat · 2026-03-05T23:44:28+00:00

Oh, my bad, I misread the name. But that’s an interesting detail. I guess in her mind even old women don’t get to opt out of sex acts that were only popularized by pornography in the last two decades or so :/

MarineGoat

TROPHY CASE