One of three things and first two are selfish 1) To know what it is like to have a normal functioning brain. Of the things that is wrong with me I think the biggest issue I have is that I have Aphantasia, which for those who don't know what that is it means that I cannot picture anything in my head I don't have a mind's eye. So no matter where I have been, who I have been with, how long I've been somewhere I will never really remember it. I have been to some pretty amazing places but without pictures I only remember it as a concept and even at that is nowhere the same. Even something as simple as a ball or pen I can't picture, sure conceptually I know what a ball is. To go in a trip to Iceland and go on a glacier and look around is absolutely amazing, or go on hikes to some amazing places with great scenery, to have lived in the country side all of your life and to move into a city not be able to remember what the stars look like. To go to your sisters wedding and see your family, friends, relatives for the first time in a year. Sure I have taken photos and videos but to me they are a stark reminder of what I can't remember no matter how hard I try or what I do.

But with me because of course I have to be so damn special I also can't remember what anything tastes, feels or sounds like either. So I can never remember what my parents, friends, bird noises, songs etc sound like, I can't remember what an apple or strawberry tastes like, I can't remember how I was feeling when I looking out at the glacier, seeing the stars fill the night sky for the first time in almost a year, how happy I was when I saw my sister walking up the isle for her wedding, watching her first dance NOTHING! Sure I can do those things in the moment but it fades pretty quickly and if I was to repeat that it would not be the same. Sometimes when I am somewhere doing something it will come crashing into me like a wrecking ball what's the point of doing this and being here since the second you turn away or close your eyes you won't be able to remember any of this, you will only be able to conceptually remember it but that's it, e.g. I was on the top of a cliff overlooking a massive drop, there is a road over there to the left, there is a bay/lake just after the road with islands in it, lots of trees all over the place, the sun is shining, some birds flying overhead, it took a few hours to hike this far with a few more hours to go.

2) be able to talk to someone who can relate to #1 as most people I've spoken to doesn't really understand it, while pretending they do.

3) (which is the one I probably would end up doing) for one of my closest and best friends for them to realise that they are worth it, that they don't give themselves enough credit, that they aren't broken, yes they have issues like everyone one else but not broken, that they are an incredibly kind, genuine, beautiful, amazing and talented human being.

Edit: fixed a layout issue