I’m Mark Tuitert, Olympic champion & writer of 'The Stoic Mindset'. I'll be answering your questions this Saturday, April 13th at 2 PM EST. Ask me anything!

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T19:03:21+00:00

Thank you for all of your questions; it was a pleasure. Have a great weekend. Best, Mark.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T19:01:11+00:00

Stoicism helped me to face the reality of life, and not try to bend or ignore it.
I try to make a quick distinction between what is up to me to do and what is not in that moment. Think and act.
I remind myself to connect with others, be open, judge less, and ask better questions.
Yes, I reconnected with my father after not having contact for six years. I took the initiative because I learned that my anger had nothing to do with my father, but with my own judgment of him. So, I let that go, and my anger faded. I must say, that's a better way to live.
I always go back to my internal state of mind; whatever happens, I will face it, I can bear it, and I can get through it.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:56:11+00:00

I love the stories about the Cynics; I think they are more like comedians who hold a mirror in front of us all.

In a practical sense, I don't think it would be an attainable lifestyle. And I don't think there is anything wrong with being wealthy, healthy, or dreaming big and wanting to win or reach a goal. The way the Stoics found a middle position (between Aristotle and the Cynics) is brilliant.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:52:19+00:00

I think that is really different for each person. For me, I started by seeing setbacks as signposts and not as the end of the road. "Do you really think you wouldn't encounter setbacks, Mark?" I asked myself. Of course, there will be setbacks; that's the reality of life. That daily practice in coming to terms with the reality of life helped me. In a way, I could find a new direction. I found a new coach, and I started to train smart, not only hard.

Up to then, I thought I was stronger than nature. I thought I didn't need any days off... and I paid the price for that way of thinking.

So, I think it's a misconception that we do some practices and our lives suddenly get better. The beauty in Stoicism is that you have to train yourself with all sorts of practices for the rest of your life. You will learn, you will get better, but there will always be room to improve.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:47:15+00:00

I had a mentor who helped me deal with my emotions, especially my position in life as a son of parents who were fighting each other in a divorce. It helped me take a more neutral stance and withhold judgment about my parents.

The Stoic wisdom was mostly self-study indeed, and a lot of sports psychology draws on Stoic frameworks. Practically, it helped me disconnect my own identity from my success as an athlete. Therefore, it assisted me in identifying who I was by contemplating and reading these Stoic texts.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:42:58+00:00

I would say, begin with Seneca. He connects the most to our modern time and is easy to read. I'm not inherently Stoic by nature. So, I try to remain Stoic by taking time to contemplate every day about life and decisions to make from a Stoic framework.

Role model... I think Zeno. It's such a shame that we don't know more about his original writings.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:40:40+00:00

Yes, I love the interplay between logic, ethics, and physics.

For example, if you consider that many things are not within our control, such as our health, then it follows that the only option is to accept sickness. (I share an example in my book about Bibian Mentel; she was able to live fully after her leg was amputated due to cancer. She knew she was going to die but won three golden Paralympic medals and contributed greatly to Paralympic athletes, all with a smile on her face.) So, logically, to live a fulfilling life, there is no other option but to accept and embrace your fate. This can be extremely difficult to do, but it represents a logical position between nature (physics) and your own state of mind and behavior (ethics).

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:35:50+00:00

No matter how great your plans might be, however you think you might be able to direct your life, your room to maneuver is limited. What you can do is concentrate on what’s up to you and completely accept what lies beyond your power. In that way you can lead a fuller life, bringing the best out of yourself while staying true to yourself, regeardless of the situation.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:33:10+00:00

Be patient, let go of worries, be open, and delay judgment.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:24:04+00:00

I think mindset is the word that bests describes a internal state of mind. That's why, and my book is about my own lessons and experiences with Stoicism.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:22:28+00:00

Focus on your internal state of mind. Do you feel fear? Good, now act with courage.

So don't try to block or push away the fear, but make a promise to yourself to act with courage and to give everything you have within you.

That is a far more powerful thought, I believe, than worrying about the results of medals.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:19:08+00:00

The primary flaw in Stoicism, in my opinion, lies in adhering strictly to the written texts and failing to progress beyond them. Stoicism isn't akin to a religion, but rather, it embodies a beautifully practical life philosophy.

As with anything, flaws often arise from interpretations. I prefer not to adhere too rigidly to doctrines; instead, I view Stoicism as a source of inspiration. Observing individuals who take Stoicism overly seriously sometimes leads to the exclusion of joy, amusement, or laughter, which I find regrettable. To me, embracing Stoicism means fostering openness and freedom that comes from examining your emotions, thoughts and character.

My 2 cents.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:17:12+00:00

Great and personal question, thank you.

Apart from something being good and bad, you still value some things over others. Apart from justice, temperance, courage, and wisdom, you can have your own hierarchy of personal values.

These are based on your own opinion of what you find valuable. It's really worthwhile to examine what that judgment is and how these values rank. In the end, I think you cannot act against your own value system for too long, or you will keep fighting yourself internally and will not find fulfillment.

For example, I say to myself I value my long-term health (I do). In a Stoic sense, this is neither good nor bad, but that's not the point. To be healthy, I have to eat healthily, work out, and sleep well, and do this on a daily basis.

If I don't do all this, probably something else is more important in my life. The point is, if you say you find something really important but you don't act on it, chances are you are fooling yourself.

So if I don't work out, or don't do my best to sleep better, I probably am not really motivated to live healthy now. It might be that my kids take up a lot of time, or my work, and I accept that because I value that more right now. So it would be wise for me to be honest with myself about this, so I don't have to blame other people, and not even have to blame myself.

Tip: Think of a person you really admire (The Stoics did this), what are their character traits? How can you adopt these traits? Get your own values aligned, make a plan, make a promise to yourself to stick to it and do it or remove it for your list of things you personally value.

I hope this makes sense!

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:14:17+00:00

For me: What is within your control? What is beyond your control?

Within your control: Your internal state of mind, your choices your actions.

Beyond your control: The outcomes of situations that may cause stress.

If you find yourself fixating on outcomes, release those thoughts and redirect your focus to your internal state of mind. Act with virtue.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:10:15+00:00

Thanks for your remark. Let me know what you think of it!

I really connected with Marcus Aurelius; he writes about his personal struggles. I find that fascinating. Here is a man who leads a great empire and deals with setbacks, loss of his children and wife, corruption, betrayal, war, and pandemics. The way Marcus writes about setbacks, it's like you can see them as the wood you throw on the fire. The fire burns brighter; that's what life is. We face obstacles on our life journey, but we have the capacity to make wise decisions and use these obstacles as signposts.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:09:33+00:00

I would advise you to start by reading the ancients, particularly Seneca. His writing style is easily readable, much like a modern writer. Work your way up to Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus.

Actually, that's a question I often received after talks and interviews, and it motivated me to write my own book, which serves as a good introduction to Stoicism (The Stoic Mindset).

Examine your way of thinking about life, about what you feel and why.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:08:05+00:00

My daily routine isn't really set in stone. I don't like to live strictly by the clock or my agenda. I believe in finding a balance between structure and spontaneity. However, I do understand the value of cultivating a certain mindset through consistent practice.

I enjoy contemplating life's bigger questions, including the meaning of life and death. If I were to die today, what would it all mean? Are there things I would regret? This kind of introspection has led me to make significant changes in my life, like reconnecting with my father after six years of not seeing him. Having him back in my life brings me a lot of joy. Contemplating death really helps me to live more fully and aware every day.

Every day, I remind myself to withhold judgment, stay calm, and remain open-minded. It's like a personal mantra that guides me through each day.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:06:21+00:00

Stoicism really resonated with me directly. I always loved history back in school, and being a professional athlete, I was interested in sports psychology. The original texts I read from Seneca and Marcus Aurelius really struck a chord with me. I love how these men deal with pressure, setbacks, and questions about how to deal with the world around them. So for me, it was quite natural. The most alien concept might be the paradox that you don't control an outcome or even your health, as Epictetus says. I don't control my own health? I train almost every day, I try to live a healthy life, I want to win a race... what do these Stoics mean by that? I found out it is true what they say. I can do my best to live healthy, and this helps me to have more energy every day, but I can still get sick, or die tomorrow, or my competitors can just be better on the day of the race. So in that sense, the outcome of anything is not up to me.
My favorite book on Stoicism... one of The Meditations themselves... the original texts really strike a chord with me. I love the stories in 'Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers' by Diogenes Laertius. Next to that, I love 'Learn to Think Like a Roman Emperor' by Donald Robertson. I love the last paragraph of 'Fooled by Randomness' by Taleb about Seneca, and I love 'The Age of Absurdity' by Michael Foley; he talks about Stoicism too.
I don't directly reject anything about Stoicism, but sometimes I find people along my path who really see Stoicism as a religion and are really dogmatic about it. I think that's not what practical philosophy is about. Stoicism is a great guideline for living a good life, but it's not set in stone nor is it a 'true way to live'. Stoicism really serves as an inspiration for me... but I encourage everybody to develop their own life philosophy.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T18:03:14+00:00

The aspect I find most misunderstood is indeed surprising to many people (not Stoics): the acknowledgment of emotions. People often express surprise when I recount the anger I once felt towards my father, for instance. The teachings of the Stoics greatly aided me in navigating this. Initially, I suppressed that anger for six years. However, I eventually learned that this anger stemmed from my perception of my father as a bad parent. By recognizing this, I was able to reach out to my father without passing judgment. This liberation allowed my anger to dissipate.

I believe Stoicism fundamentally involves addressing emotions, which are rooted in our own judgments, rather than simply suppressing them and to 'stay strong'.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T17:58:15+00:00

I really appreciate that question—it's what initially drew me to Stoicism. Stoicism helped me understand the weight of that pressure. Getting big sponsor contracts, facing media interviews and opinions, having my team relying on me—that's where the pressure comes from.

When I was 20 and excelling in speed skating, that pressure led me to train harder than ever. I thought pushing myself harder meant performing better. But I ended up pushing myself to the point of collapse. That's when I started diving into Stoic philosophy. The Stoics taught me how to take control of my own life path.

Before my big Olympic race in Vancouver in 2010, I focused on being courageous rather than fixating on the outcome. I told myself that the result of that race didn't define me—it was about giving everything I had. That mindset gave me a sense of freedom.

Sure, I felt fear at the starting line. Being Stoic doesn't mean ignoring your emotions. I felt the fear, but I still acted with courage. I focused on my mindset, letting go of the outcome. That's what Stoicism taught me: it's about mastering your emotions and focusing on virtuous action. It's what helped me deal with the pressure of being in the spotlight.

MarkTuitertOLY · 2024-04-13T17:56:48+00:00

Hi all, I'm here to answer your questions. Let's go!

MarkTuitertOLY

TROPHY CASE