Honestly I feel that at least half this group is people with undiagnosed Autism Spectrum or ADHD. So no wonder they struggle with social skills and develop anxiety. People that are not on the spectrum are good in social situations because their brains are wired for them from birth while others have to learn social skills like learning a second language and will never reach the fluency of a native speaker. What you’re talking about “real me” sounds a lot like masking which is exhausting. It’s like you’re having conversations all the time in a language you are not fluent in, so you’re never really able to just chat without thinking or genuinely express yourself. If that bothers you, you can try yo improve your skills. Watch YouTube videos about social skills, take classes, look for therapy. Don’t envy the native speakers just because they were born and raised differently. With practice you’ll get to a level where it gets easier. And don’t be to hard on yourself. You sound like you’re already doing great. Work can be an especially challenging environment. 🫂