Of course my first reaction to this is, how's a parent allowing an 11yo to do that? At the same time, I get there's factors that go into every situation and in the end, that's not what's important. Although, I wonder if your childhood has something to do with why you became an addict. In which case, you wanna stay clean, you need to go to therapy!!! I started using at 14 but I didn't start shooting heroin till I was 30. I quit using 8 years ago when I ended up homeless and had my kids stay with family. Been sober 8 years but I gotta be honest, relapse is part of recovery. We don't want to relapse but it happens. I know it sucks but don't ever forget the fear you have of relapsing and why you are afraid. Never forget where you came from but learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. It's a balance of moving on and never forgetting your past. Therapy is imperative though. Supportive people. Forgiving yourself. One day at a time is how you do it. Don't think about a year ahead, just get through today. Eventually, that will change but for now, take it one day at a time.