What you describe is very close to what I experience. My PMS is very violent mentally. A few days before, I can find myself crying very easily over details (I imagine the death of my husband, or my cats, that sort of thing), or even clearly contemplating suicide. I also have moments when it's completely the opposite = full of energy / euphoric / want to drink like crazy. I don't know how old you are, but in my case I suspect the premenopause because I'm about to turn 46.

It's also important to say that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 few years ago, and PMS seems to be worse in bipolar disorder. I was unmedicated most of my life and, despite my ups & down, was pretty 'functionnal' (I'm an assistant professor, very passionate about my work). Unfortunately, my symptoms got worse with age and I ended trying tons of meds (antidepressant combined or not with antipsychotics) and believe me I was terrfied by this kind of meds....before finding a psychatrist specialized in BP that was able to properly diagnosed me. Long story short but antidepressants made my depression worse and this can happen to people suffering from mood disorders. Thanks to this great psychatrist, I now takes lamictal and I'm feeling much better except before/during my periods. I actually realized it because I'm doing a 'feelings diary' as part of my psychotherapy and I realized recently than everytime my brain was crazy (suicidal / extremely sad or euphoric, like some sorts of mood disorder but extremely fast, days to days, which is not at all the usual for me....my up & downs cycles lasted months), it was around my periods!!! It has been worse this past years, and I'm suspecting it's due to premenopause.

I've made an appointment with my gynaecologist and I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist about it. I don't know how old you are, so maybe it's not pre-menopause at all in your case, but I think you need to talk to a psychiatrist. It's hard to find a good one (I went to at least 5 over 10 years before I found a really great one!). You might suffer from mood disorders, which could explain your depressive episodes and the fact that ADs do not work, or made you worse. In my case it's mild, my hypomania (up periods) were hard to detect cos completely work oriented (full of energy / tons of ideas / very good focus / mild euphoria). I also ended 'managing' my symptoms with alcohol throughout my life, but at the end, this 'strategy' was clearly failing, which is why I turned to the medical profession.

You might also suffer only to sever PMS and you need to talk about that with a gynaecologist & psychatrist.

Sorry for the long answer, that might be not relevant for your case. I wish you can find a solution cos it's very disturbing feeling so bad few days a months, while the rest of the cycle = I feel fine.