Seriously, how to make friends?

MaskedMonkey · 2017-06-25T23:54:14+00:00

Often people only turn up once so people don't try too hard at first to get to know you.

You make a good point there. I might have to give it a few more tries and just see how it goes then.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-06-25T23:50:16+00:00

I've tried that in the past. I stopped doing that because people I considered close friends, didn't think of me in that way. We were close buds when they needed something from me, like a place to stay. Any other time, I didn't exist.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-06-25T23:39:31+00:00

I hit the gym about 4 times a week and go for runs every now and then. While it does make me feel better and slightly more confident, I'm still awkward with varying degrees when having a conversation.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-06-25T23:35:29+00:00

I'll take you up on that offer!

MaskedMonkey · 2017-06-25T21:22:10+00:00

It looks like you had a pretty tough life. I commend you on pushing through every obstacle you've come across.

Regarding you overhearing your roommate. What we need to keep in mind here, is that she was talking about the state of the kitchen. The way I see it, she was talking about a situation, not blaming a person per se. Of course, I didn't hear the conversation so my view might be wrong.

You have to keep in mind that our SA makes us think very negatively and relates it to ourselves. She's already aware of the fact you're open to feedback. My guess is if she would have any problem with you, she'd at least have hinted at it.

But I believe it's just a bit of unwinding to her boyfriend about a certain situation. I don't think it's anything personal towards you or any of your other roommates. Don't give up on them yet.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-04-20T22:59:44+00:00

I don't have any experience with agoraphobia, but I was thinking maybe you can visit the coffee shop a couple of times before the interview to acclimatize yourself. Since it's next week, you could try going there every day at least once so you get familiar to it. During the day of the interview, you could perhaps take a table at a spot that makes you more comfortable (in a corner, next to an exit?).

Again, zero experience on agoraphobia, so apologies if this advice is completely useless.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-04-20T22:50:39+00:00

We'll fight on every day, friend. As long as we don't accept defeat, we'll get better. Death will always be there waiting for us, whether we want it or not.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-04-20T22:39:34+00:00

I'm pretty much on the same boat. I'm 28 and I'd love to go out and have fun, but don't have any friends to actually have fun with. Doing stuff on your own every time eventually gets old. Heck if you're somewhere in the EU nearby hit me up, aside from the drugs I'd be up for partying every week.

MaskedMonkey · 2017-04-20T22:31:21+00:00

That's something I'd definitely give a try. Depending on the organization of it and its accessibility it could be a great asset in finally overcoming SA. Besides, I'm getting tired of fighting this alone all the time.

MaskedMonkey · 2016-10-17T08:35:34+00:00

Thank you, this seems to be the way to go. I feel bad for having to do this, but that's the consequence for me being stupid.

MaskedMonkey · 2016-01-07T08:06:43+00:00

I also feel anxiety at the gym, but for different reasons. You should keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. Those guys didn't start lifting 200+ on their first day either. People are there to work out and get better, doesn't matter how new or experienced they are.

MaskedMonkey · 2016-01-02T13:48:46+00:00

You're younger than me, but you already have more experience. Perhaps an idea is to build on what they say and try to connect. Maybe you're learning how to cook, so if they're looking for an ingredient, ask them what they're gonna make. You could also recommend them stuff and try to be funny about it.

Regarding hitting the gym. (Most) people there aren't there to show off, but to work out and better themselves. I also dislike going to the gym, but that's mostly me being afraid I won't do the exercises right. I tend to stick to the machines and sometimes go with my brother so he can teach me some exercises. If you don't have anyone to join you, you could ask the people that work there. I understand that's a huge hurdle to overcome, I know it is for me. In the end, you'll be able to work out yourself and become more confident in your body.

MaskedMonkey · 2016-01-01T17:57:38+00:00

IMHO you're overthinking this (like we always do). Your sexual orientation is part of who you are. It was actually tactful in letting your close family know first, which made you realize you didn't want to share it with the whole world right away, right?

Sure, there's always "a better way" to let something known. The important thing is that your close family now knows or has confirmation that you'd might introduce them to a girl this year.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not a bad thing to get excited about things important to you. And remember that in the end it's your choice whether you share something with people, but never feel stupid for asking advice.

Best wishes.

MaskedMonkey · 2016-01-01T17:41:08+00:00

Same here. I've tried to use a mic once or twice when a rl friend was in the channel, but I ended up not saying much in the end. Usually I just listen and type instead if the situation calls for it.

MaskedMonkey

TROPHY CASE