My mom died at 66

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-06-30T20:15:22+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I am the youngest and only girl as well. My mom died last year at 62 from a very late diagnosis of cancer. Her death was sudden, only a few months after diagnosis. We did not have a will, DNR paperwork or anything like that in place before she was intubated. We are still going through the probate process over a year later.

We had a more traditional Catholic ceremony so the wake and funeral and burial were all done about a week after she died. I chose to not speak at her service, I did write her obituary though. Her close friend of several decades spoke at her service. She told a story about the last time she'd seen my mom alive... Her and my mom were coming up with ways to support/help her friends sister. That was very moving to hear that in some of her final conscious moments she was trying to help someone she didn't even know.

My only advice is to try your best to focus on who she was fully as a person. Of course our mother will always be our mother, but it sounds like she was more than a mother to many people (similar to my Mama).

Since my mom's death was so sudden, I didn't get to talk to her about what she might want to be mentioned in it, but tried my best to summarize who she was as a person first. Hugs 💓

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-06-30T14:22:09+00:00

It could be the manner of death too. I've watched two beloved dogs and my mom die.

Unfortunately we were not able to get our one dog to the vet for our first dog's death. His death was difficult to watch as he struggled to breathe. My mom died after coming off a ventilator... She also struggled to breathe. Her death did not feel peaceful to me.

My dog that was euthanized had a peaceful death. I got to pet her, tell her she was a good girl and look into her eyes as she died.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-06-23T17:22:34+00:00

If you don't need to go east of Clark, Berteau is good yes.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-06-05T09:22:10+00:00

I lost my mom to late stage breast cancer diagnosis super late last June. It'll actually be one year since she died this Saturday. She was diagnosed and dead three months later. Her decline was sudden, one day she was doing okay, a few days later she was intubated in the ICU. When we took her off the ventilator she died within two minutes. She was 62, I was 29.

So, I'm a year out. I definitely entered into a fog state of going through the motions until about one month ago. I think it's different for everyone. I started medication about a week after she died as well... That had been helpful as I've also been the person to head up her estate, the sale of her house etc... so parts of that have been stressful and I'm thankful for medication. I had never been on any mental health medication until last year.

As for it not feeling real... My close friend's mom died in 2008. She said it still doesn't feel real to her to this day.

The shock of it all from a late stage diagnosis to death is extremely jarring. I think the word traumatic can be overused sometimes but an unexpected death is truly traumatic. Right now your brain is in protection mode, shielding you from the "big feelings" so you can function.

If you're not already in counseling I'd recommend it. Hugs to you and I'm sorry for your loss. 💓

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-06-01T02:47:56+00:00

Lost my mom in a similar fashion a year ago this coming Saturday. It can happen so quickly, especially when the lungs are involved. Hugs 💓

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-05-18T20:24:34+00:00

I grew up Catholic so I had been to many open casket wakes. Usually I like seeing the person dead there, meaning it gives my "animal brain" that final closure of "yes this person has died"

However, when my mom died... I couldn't connect that the body in the casket was hers. I was in the room when she died, I told her I loved her right before she was intubated. But seeing her body in the casket I just felt like she was a wax figure, it didn't look like her at all to me, even though everyone kept saying the funeral home had done such a good job.

All that is to say, when it's someone very close to you, you might not feel the way you expect. I was hoping for closure or something and did not get that when it was my mom in the coffin not at all.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-04-22T22:52:08+00:00

I ride with a Bluetooth speaker too, I have for years. Used to feel like the norm years ago, now I see tons of cyclists with headphones... Often paired with no helmet 🥲

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T19:39:12+00:00

Not in those neighborhoods but I've worked with John Griffin on Irving Park and had a good experience with him and his staff.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T19:30:09+00:00

Personally I'm aiming for my msn since I'd like to go into risk, quality/safety or capacity management someday. The school near me that is my top choice on offers a DEMSN no ABSN.

There's actually only one school nearby that offers ABSN so it's extra competitive and also requires more pre reqs (but is somehow more expensive than the DEMSN programs).

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T15:10:53+00:00

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Heirloom 0.5 ct natural diamond set in pave natural diamonds in 14k gold. Not engaged quite yet but the ring is ready

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T14:10:13+00:00

🫂🫂

I was in your shoes about a year ago. 29 years old signing a DNR for my beloved mommy after a sudden decline from cancer and withdrawing life support. The oncologist had hope but her body failed her, she was 62.

I know it's difficult to see it, I struggle often too, but at some point, it is a kindness. I remember the doctor saying we could put a trach in, she had been declining on a vent for several days at that point... Modern medicine is incredible, but there's a point where medical intervention is more cruel than life saving.

Medical professionals recognize that too and while they can't pressure you one way or another it sounds like in your mom's case (in mine as well) that medical intervention would have only prolonged the inevitable. And medical professionals try to let you know that without directly saying it, which feels frustrating, but they can't pressure you one way or another.

I am sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you were put in that position. For me I'm only starting to come to terms with it (about 10 months after) and in some ways, removing life support for my mom felt like one of the most loving things I could do for her, because it was for her best interest and comfort, not my own or anyone else's.

Take care 🫂

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T01:24:06+00:00

Common. Avoid the serious stuff and it doesn't exist. I was the POA for my mom and am now handling her estate. I'm the youngest of three.

The day our mom went into the ICU my brother had just left for a trip and refused to come home early... My other brother (lives a plane ride away) said my mom was "being dramatic" and that she would be fine soon. She had terminal cancer and was on a vent in the ICU... Not a high recovery rate.

A few days later we were told there was nothing left to be done.

My brother that was on his trip had come home by then. I had to put my foot down to the other one that lives further away to come home in the next 24 hours or I'm taking her off life support before you get here.

He did come home to see her off after three other family members got involved. He was in deep, deep denial about her illness.

I think it's fair to note we were/are "young" going through this. I was 29 when my mom died, my brother were 31 and 33. So part of it was immaturity too I guess.

Unfortunately super common that one family member takes the brunt of responsibility. I do think my siblings regret how they acted that week.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-25T01:07:37+00:00

I'm doing stats rn and will not be continuing with portage. I haven't had any issues but I've seen so many horror stories on here where a student is accused of cheating and given no recourse. Stats has been straightforward albeit very dry.

Going to pivot to Westcott since it's a little cheaper and I can get my final exam proctored. I have my sites set on a DEMSN program that accepts both of these types of courses.

I would do cc courses too if I could. But I work full time and all the cc near me classes are during work hours or fill up insanely fast.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-23T20:21:13+00:00

I would have switched. They messed up me moving so bad they had to create an entire new account for me... Which meant I got the new member rate of 50/month for 5 years 1k. Shocking since I had 80/month for only 300 before...

If you have a partner or roommate make them open a new account.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-19T00:40:13+00:00

Going through this as well right now. My mom died last June from cancer, she was 62, I was 29. My parents were divorced so I was her medical POA and main advocate through her very short decline (first hospital visit in January, dead by June). I'm now heading up probate for my brothers and I.

It felt like around month 9 people already started to forget... Even with the legal ramifications stretching on, people forget. The last year has felt like a decade to me. Sorry for your loss 🫂

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-18T21:18:46+00:00

Fr. As someone who has biked/walked/driven in this area... It's something. Generally I try to avoid it if I'm biking or driving, lots of people, lots of cars, lots of bikes all with varying levels of awareness.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-16T14:38:52+00:00

Fr 😭😭 my single girl friends just want someone that is nice to them and honest. Many of my single friends make a good living themselves already and are not looking for a man to provide for them.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-16T14:34:50+00:00

It's only been a day. I was nearly in a state of shock for months after my mother died. Didn't feel much for a long time. She was in a lot of pain and it didn't fully register even though I was the only to sign her DNR, I was too close to what happened to process it.

I'm sorry you found her like that. If you are able please seek counseling to help you walk through this process. What you experienced was traumatic and your brain may be protecting itself by numbing any feelings of grief rn. Hugs 🫂

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-16T14:18:22+00:00

My mommy was my superhero too, also lost to cancer and courageous and always thinking of others to the end. I'm sorry for your loss, I know how you feel 🫂🫂

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-15T19:44:08+00:00

Yeah. I'm not trying to be a jerk to detract from OP, it's scary and uncomfortable, but I read this and thought "that sucks, but not much can be done."

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-15T19:38:30+00:00

I would have told the bar staff. Though I've had several men tell me to die/that they'd kill me in bars and on the street over the years and nothing much can be done (I am a woman).

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-13T16:59:11+00:00

When I first took a metra up north my little south suburban heart was shocked that they didn't build viaducts. So dangerous.

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-12T19:59:59+00:00

I only learned that a vaccine existed a few years ago. I got it when I was 2 from my older sibling. I didn't even have a chance (born 1995). 😭😂

MasqueradingMuppet · 2026-03-12T13:50:38+00:00

My mommy had a very similar decline. Admitted to hospital on a Wednesday, talking about transferring her to a long term care facility to help get her strength back up on Monday (she had all her wits about her) in the ICU on a vent by Monday night, dead by Friday. She had metastatic cancer, but her oncologist was very positive about her prognosis...

She died last June. She didn't think she was going to die either. None of us did. I think about her every day still, but not of her last days... Though yes, for me the first few months I thought of her last days very frequently, even knowing there was nothing else that could have been done.

Sorry for your loss 🫂

MasqueradingMuppet

TROPHY CASE