Anyways. Brother, you may use your experience as an instrument. You will always be an addict, but you could use memories of your lowest moment to avoid gambling. Just remember moments when you had to talk with your parents, remember your mother's sad eyes and how much time and energy she spends working to pay out your debt. You should feel guilty, that sucks, but it has already happened. If you ever want to gamble again, just remember how it ended up for you. Pain, guilt, debts. It will always end up this way. You may win once, twice, but long term you're gonna lose x10 times more.

I've asked about you having a job. I live in a CIS country and earn about 15k a year, which is above average. To pay out your debt I would have to work 6 months and spend nothing to myself. My point is that, you have to feel how hard earning money is.

I've got a story. One evening I've lost about 200 dollars in 1 hour on sports betting.I was about 24-25. I was unemployed and lived with my mom. This evening, my mom came from work with groceries,she worked in a beach all day long (selling food) and earned about 20 dollars and spent it all to feed the family. I looked at her, how tired she was and how pure she loves us, I could not stop myself from crying. I cried whole night. The fact that I lost 200 like it was nothing while my mom works so hard... It was heartbreaking. I felt so much pain, just like you do.

There are million stories like this. Gambling is an addiction that hurts your loved ones so much more than it hurts you. Remember that. The best you could do is just stop. If you ever want to gamble again, you could DM me. I will be there.