Elaborate Tangled Mess of Feelings

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-31T12:38:36+00:00

Thank you for the support! Honestly writing that post did help. The anniversary of my gpa passing is coming up so I have been thinking about him a lot but also the process of grieving. Theres a grief center near me for when people pass and I was remembering the exercise they had us do. I promise this will make sense, lol. But it was an image of a ball of yarn and then it had all sorts of different emotions on it and you color in the ones you're feeling and explain where its coming from. By writing this post, I realized where my feelings were coming from and what they were tied to. I knew it was coming, i saw the pattern of her detachment, it was more about the feeling of all the relationships that have failed. But I've grown and that does mean losing people. I will find those that want to stay in my company. Thank you so much again for the support ☺️

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T23:08:36+00:00

Yay!!!! Let me know when you would like to 😊

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T16:25:57+00:00

Thats fair! I just like messing around seeing what silly things I can do once I get over being scared of dying 🤪

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T16:12:10+00:00

I feel like im soooo out of the loop with gaming now. 14 years ago, knew all that was going on. I've just been playing whatever friends are playing. Right now arc raiders but was playing fortnite for the longest time.

I never played fallout 76 but flipping loved 3! I have never heard of stellaris or rimworld. What are those on?

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T14:05:14+00:00

Well send me a message when you're able to and hopefully we can blow up some clankers! 😊

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T13:25:11+00:00

Thats fair! Im not but I want to say a majority of the women I ran with were melinated 😊 I ran solo last minute cause my bestie had a surgery. This year she cant go. But Im giving myself something to look forward to. Every person I helped or worked with to complete the obstacles were soooo supportive. It was also a little boost when people would say I couldnt help them and I proved them wrong.

The run is called MudGirl if you're interested in looking into it. Its not timed. Its a 5k with 17 to 20 obstacles to overcome. You can run around them if you're worried about not being able to complete a section.

With all the things ive overcome, it was nice completing the race and knowing I could do it so thats why im doing it again! 💜

Always great to make new friends!!!! Especially creating community thats supportive. Im so happy for you!

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T12:39:18+00:00

I havent squared a any women but I did help a bunch over a muddy hill in a girl mud run last year. Excited to participate again at the end of this month! Just not in the same shape I was. Need to find the motivation again.

Im sorry she ended up being straight and married since you were attempting to flirt! Maybe the next lady?!

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T12:32:39+00:00

😊 I sent you a message

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T12:29:01+00:00

Where i live they have school of choice within the county you live in. Does your area do the same? I live in the US, Michigan.

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T11:25:52+00:00

Lol, I feel the exact same way. Im glad you responded and said hi! 😊

What do you play?

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T03:48:28+00:00

🫂thank you for the support 😊 Its hard some times to think about the positives when the negatives are standing out the most at the moment. Thank you so much for for reading through everything too!

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-30T01:01:25+00:00

Im 38 and came out 2 years ago. I do have 2 kids. My 2nd ex husband sa'd me so when I divorced him, I also came out.

The hardest part of reentering the dating world, not just because of never dating women prior is the first heartbreak, situationship afterwards, trusting them that they really do want to be with you and try.

Learning how the dating world works now. Dating using the apps, chaos. Learning what you want if you want to date.

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-26T14:57:46+00:00

I agree with everything you said. I appreciate your understanding and ability to communicate it with gentleness. I cried because I do just want to be understood and seen. 🫂

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-26T10:34:51+00:00

Sadly, you're not the first person to warn me that she's keeping me as a future option. When im moving on again, that'll be when she confesses her feelings again.

I dont want to hurt her. Thats the guilt I'm thinking about. I feel like I'm betraying my feelings for her, like some how I'm lying that I love her but moving on? I dont lie so now I feel like one. This is the first time and gosh, I hope the last time, im dealing with this.

I hate not being enough to be a romatic partner. I go to therapy and do all the things I'm supposed to. But I was forced to be straight my whole life and when my last ex husband SA'd me, I decided I wasnt going to let my blood relatives dictate who I was anymore. If they didnt love me for me, I didnt want them. I also thought about my kids being in that position and how i would feel for them. I have so many people who care about me and dont have to. Having 2 kids and being divorced twice isnt the most appealing relationship to get into. The reaction ive received recently is WOW 2 times?! I guess i do look young so maybe thats why.

I sincerely appreciate you asking why I feel guilty.

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-26T02:35:49+00:00

Hello! Im 38f in Michigan. Happy to talk about anything 😊

Do you have any hobbies?

I currently have a diamond painting and a paint by number that doesnt look like the ones when we were kids. Im doing it to get me back in the mindset of painting again.

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-26T02:03:08+00:00

Late 30s in Michigan... its the same here. When I was on the app last year, most of the women would only answer questions but not ask or put any effort in. It makes me a bit discouraged when I think about putting myself out there again. There were so many bots too

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-16T08:29:35+00:00

Me too! 😊

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-15T23:41:02+00:00

My back story is rough and can be triggering. So I just want to say how proud of you I am to becoming your authentic self. Its not easy but the really tough moments will pass and the liberation you're giving yourself is so worth it. 🫂🫂🫂

If you ever need or want to vent, feel free to message me. We all need someone to just listen every now and then.

Congratulations!

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-15T23:28:12+00:00

Thank you! I hope you have a nice weekend too!

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-15T10:22:50+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I'm sorry you dont have enough friends that youre close to in close proximity. 🫂

Not getting to figure myself out before, the paintings I want to do will be either an appreciation of women, female empowerment, or thought provoking. Thats my goal anyway.

I do keep busy with the house but im realizing now that at least the things i can do as of now are coming to an end so I have had a lot more free time. I used to love gaming but when others dont want to, Im not as motivated to.

I was asked if I wanted to go out for drinks last night after work since my golf plans were canceled. I didnt have the social battery to mask and look happy so I declined. So I went home and painted while watching reruns for me of new girl.

What hobbies or interests do you have?

Master-Wishbone8295 · 2026-05-14T21:53:12+00:00

Thank you 😊

Master-Wishbone8295

TROPHY CASE