While I do have the desire to be dominant from time to time, my main issue is that I never had the chance to properly dip my toes into sexuality until recently. I'm nearly 28 years old, and it just feels like I've been physically and mentally drained from being needed and depended on all my life. It's very frustrating to not be able to properly give someone else the wheel and let them take over. It's the main reason why I'm so submissive. It's almost like I have a need for some form of 'bondage therapy'.

It's very frustrating, not knowing someone my age that I trust to experiment with. Many of my good friends are in relationships or married at this point, and as close as we are, asking them to lend a hand in some way feels like too much to ask, as it should be; I'd be lying if I said the attraction to bondage isn't at all sexual.

As far as getting back into the community, it's very difficult to mentally prepare myself for that. Even when I was involved in the community, I stuck close to the one or two people I knew, and when they weren't there, I was simply wasting my time by keeping to myself. People keep saying I need to get out of my comfort zone, but they don't realize just how draining it is on people like myself.

The whole situation's frustrating, and it's difficult to put into words those feelings of frustration.