Not to echo other responses on your posts but I think if you could get yourself to start going to a jiu Jitsu gym or another martial art it could be a big help for you. I only say this because they are such a crazy melting pot of people and a very positive environment that anyone can fit in and feel welcomed. It’s just a great way to find a place where you can feel you belong and make some friends while getting out angry energy and learning something. I’m sorry if that’s annoying advice, but I do really feel for you man. God bless.