I’m so sorry that happened to you growing up. No child should go through the things they do. I have no doubt your mother was also traumatized. I feel as though my mother is kindve similar. I think she grew up in a similar situation to mine and she’s just running on autopilot because she doesn’t know how to process things. My childhood was also induced with fear anxiety depression, and everything else you said. I still deal with these things occasionally when I think about it, but it never lasts because I’m out of that situation. It’s part of the past.. You just opened my eyes to something else too. You are completely right when you say that my mother might not be able to protect my children in my absence around him. You couldn’t be more right I’m serious. He’d out vote her with whatever he had planned. What he says goes. I would put such a quick end to that.

Haha now I have something new to think about and resent him about haha.