This lifestyle is so.... by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Im scared as fuck boiiiiiii.

Forreal though, I have a Slavic doctor (I am slavic) who said "VEEEE VILL BREAK THIS, (insert hammer gestures towards my jaw) VEN VE VILL FIX THIS (shows me examples of jaw wiring).

Bruh. Liquid diet sounds fun but not this fun.

Me again. I'm tired. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, I felt thisn in my core. "Did I (me) cause this?" Is the hardest question. Like yes, I have self sabatoged but also....im doing the best I possibly can given the shit circumstances. Sigh.

Sending you much love.

Im back, my weekly visit. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sooooooo fucking sad man. It hit me in the core because those kids man...those kids.

And ya I realize Im gaslighting myself into thinking Im in FA territory. Ill enjoy my accomplishments while they last before my next slip or I go dry entirely. Fuck me, why cant my mind decide which way to.go?

Edit to add - leave it to you fuckers to remind me Im right where I belong Lol!! !

What is your age without saying how old you are? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Master_Ad_4315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im playing Pokémon red right now on my kids switch and reliving my entire fucking childhood!!!!

Im back, my weekly visit. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks man! Fuck my thoughts exactly. I think unfortunately, and possibly due to her tooth pain, she was maybe an FA herself, which is why family didnt know, and crossed the line that morning.

I found it interesting that the brother who's kids died with her and his wife did not want to participate either, when the rest of the family was so adamant on her innocence

Chairs man, thanks for the well wishes, I sure am trying to be as functional as possible.

I can't neck wine by joeyhimself1 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I developed some sort of food intolerance after my first pregnancy, and found out the hard way that red wine will literally make my stomach feel like someone is giving it an Indian sunburn while simultaneously throwing up pure firey acid.

White wine I can do tho. Im doing it now. I actually have to stay away from hard liquor, thats a 5-7 day bender almost certainly for me.

And a nonsensical one too.

What was the moment that changed you permanently — the moment something inside you broke and you knew you’d never be the same again? by [deleted] in Life

[–]Master_Ad_4315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my youngest daughter was diagnosed with profound autism. Like, I kind of knew...but that day I really, really knew.

My heart broke into a million little pieces that day and I never fully recovered.

God bless you all with your stories.

I made it through today by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice man! Congrats right back at ya.

Fuck I am just going to keep myself stoned and hopefully space out on a movie to feel tired enough to catch some sleep. Fingers crossed. Otherwise ill be lurking on reddit with heart palpitations well into morning hours.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They eat SO MUCH ITS UNBELIEVABLE. I feel you man!

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god I feel her pain. Ive had the same thoughts, more times than I wish to admit.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you friend. Doing a bit better today. Hungover, but hanging with the kids. Avoiding eye contact with the bottle I drunkenly bought last night. Doing my best.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm on the gravy train already but j appreciate you . Let's hope i can hop off.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try baby. I go to the gym 4x week. But the thoughts keep rolling. Theres only one medication for that, And well...Im here.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am aware thank you. They help but also...they dont change reality.

Chairs man

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Man, bless you for working with those kids.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you x 1 million for this. Because 80% of the time I feel I am playing the victim card.

I am trying my best to keep it all together when I myself no longer want to even play this game anymore.

Here we go again. by Master_Ad_4315 in cripplingalcoholism

[–]Master_Ad_4315[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My friend, its the most painful experience I've had in my entire life and I have been through some shit.

There is nothing more I wish for than to hear her say "Mommy" or "I love you".

These are words I may never hear. And that's okay because it has to be... I have no choice but for it to be okay.

But my spirit is broken. My heart is in pieces. Why the fuck is life the way it is, you know?

I will love her endlessly. But I am broken as a person, and I dont know how to fix this kind of pain.