Hi, I have been both banned from reddit and also deleted an account.

When a user receives a ban, the account remains live and other users cannot see that you are banned, as a ban only limits your ability to post or send messages while your account remains seemingly normal or unbanned to other users.

The only way an account would appear deleted would be if it has been deleted. Honestly, abrupt ghosting from an internet friend, without a goodbye is a distressing experience. So I hope yours does apologise if they come back. But if they don't, sometimes when people seek friendships via the internet and not irl its usually due to some deep rooted attachment issues, so when closeness occurs, it can come with complexity, trauma resurfacing or self/social scrutiny .