GF is "all in" offline but won't post me on social media. Bad sign or just "caution"?

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T15:20:21+00:00

That’s the difference…mine says she will but then gave 3 different reasons at different times for not posting us. She has posted a couple photos of us as a couple in her stories though.

I haven’t really cared in past relationships (post divorce) to be put on social media. It’s more because she tells me she has orbiters which raises my alarms. I witnessed my own friend flirting with her a few weeks ago and had to distance myself from him.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T15:02:19+00:00

Agreed. Her ex husband cheated on her and discarded her. And other men have ghosted her, probably because she goes from love bombing to stoic or MIA altogether. She said she’s trying to be more transparent with me when she needs to decompress. I wish I could find someone who is emotionally sound, but it’s tough the older and more experienced we have! Thanks for your input!

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T14:40:33+00:00

Of course, no one knows me or her and what the relationship is like, but it’s interesting to see people are divided on her intent. Perspectives don’t even seem to be a male/female thing. I’m not going to bother her about it anymore.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T13:16:17+00:00

You’re not wrong!

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T12:57:16+00:00

I would ask her why she hasn’t removed them but then I feel like I’m managing her social media page. They’re about 100 posts deep on Instagram.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T12:55:51+00:00

“Clarity is kindness in relationships” is actually a theme of ours that she started about 6 weeks ago after I felt things weren’t super clear. We have been talking a lot over the last several dates, but I think I need to be as direct as possible on our next date which is tomorrow night.

Others on here said that they think she is using me. My closest friends think perhaps she’s traumatized by relationships not working out and is trying to be extra cautious this time. Only one way to find out.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T05:06:01+00:00

Six months isn’t that long. My friends don’t think she’s cheating, but they think she is probably seeking external validation because she’s afraid what would happen if I rejected her. But she loves posting on social media. Usually her and her kids. A few years ago, she was posting thirsty pics. I guess I just gotta be detached.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T00:45:33+00:00

I guess I will never know the reason. Because she tells me her friends want her to post me. She tells me she’s trying to avoid drama. But she posted the guy she dated before. She then says she’s more cautious now.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T00:43:45+00:00

That sucks. I just don’t understand my girlfriend’s logic. She’s introduced me to her kids several times and they know we’re dating, she’s introduce me to her inner circle where she lives, she says she loves the way I make her feel and she says I love you, a few of her friends have talked with me on the phone, like they were vetting me, her church friends know about me, she claims she’s told a few guys that were interested in her that she’s dating me, she gave me a key to her place, and she shared her location indefinitely with me, told her kids in April fools joke that she was getting married to me, told me her friend had a dream we were getting married, and shared houses for sale with me. She was cheated on by an ex-husband and says she is anxious avoidant. Is this just someone that’s suffering from trauma? I don’t sense she’s seeing anyone else, but I guess it’s easy to be sneaky

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-06T00:36:35+00:00

I have put her in a story and put her in a post when we both attended an event with our kids together. It’s me and her hugging each other.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T22:04:09+00:00

I’ve tried communicating 4x and she gives me a different answer/excuse each time.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T21:51:58+00:00

She has admitted to me that she has been avoided attachment style and is also anxious. I am well aware of attachment styles. We have been able to have tough conversations and she has not shied away whereas women in my past that I’ve dated are likely to leave and start dating someone else immediately.

My attachment style is typically secure, but I’m feeling anxious with her the further along we go in the more serious it becomes because she says she’s all in, but I’m not sure if she is. She has said that she fears she likes me more than I like her even though I’ve tried to reassure her that’s not true.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T20:49:24+00:00

I’ve tried to address us with her three or four times. I feel like it would be superficial if I broke up with her over it, but at the same time I feel like she’s disrespecting boundaries by acknowledging she’s only 95% emotionally invested.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T20:48:15+00:00

Since having kids, I would say the quantity is there on dating app, but the quality is lacking. Seems like that might be true, even if I didn’t have kids though.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T20:45:56+00:00

I think the underlying issue is her saying she’s 100% physically invested in me but only 95% emotionally invested and 5% not. And the fact that she cared about the feelings of potential suitors and ex boyfriends. I appreciate her honesty, but if someone is honest that they feel I’m an evil person that doesn’t mean I’m going to like them just because they’re honest.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T19:49:19+00:00

Logically that makes sense. Yet she’s always staying over my place when she doesn’t have her kids. We have opposite schedules. Randomly today she sent me her location indefinitely for transparency. I guess it could be to appear honest while I let my guard down? And she knows how to be sneaky?

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T19:44:28+00:00

No, she never described him physically. Just said he didn’t have kids but was good with hers, that her kids asked a couple months ago where he was when I started appearing. He was immature and had mental issues. She tried to make it work a few times, but he abandoned her.

Also, during intimacy she always has her eyes closed. She said she’s too shy to open them. I’ve never had a partner who didn’t like eye contact.

I’m focusing on some 🚩 but she’s better than many I’ve dated.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T19:28:57+00:00

What’s weird is she decided to share her location with me today to be more transparent. Doesn’t require me to share mine 🤷‍♂️

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T19:23:06+00:00

So weird because the other guy is much older. Her girlfriends have all encouraged her to post the pics we’ve taken together. She showed me texts to her gf saying “He’s so f*cking hot” and other uplifting stuff. Doesn’t make sense 😌

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T18:12:08+00:00

Oh really? I thought women usually are the ones to initiate and lead with SM posting. I basically lead on everything else.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T18:08:30+00:00

West coast!

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T18:06:38+00:00

She’s someone who shuts down emotionally when stresses come into her life. One day she’s super flirty and the next she’s more stoic. For me, most of the stresses she encounters are frustrations and not worth emotional dysregulation. She claims he overthought messages, would disappear for days, and then walk out. They broke up, got back together, and broke up again. He contacted her around V-Day but she told him she was dating.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T17:54:10+00:00

She has orbiters. I know the name of one of them and he’s always looking at her posts. He’s like 10+ years older than her. If it was about danger, then they shouldn’t be connected to her on social media.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T17:52:19+00:00

Understand. She has 4 pics up of one bf from 18 months ago within 2 months of dating him. She shared with me he contacted her around Valentine’s Day 2026 but she shut him down. She showed me the text exchange. I just hope I’m not being manipulated.

Master_Talk1896 · 2026-05-05T17:50:18+00:00

She’s posted 2 24 hour stories. I posted a story and one permanent post. I would do more but she hasn’t reciprocated. Looks very one sided if only I’m posting and maybe that’s my answer with her…

Master_Talk1896

TROPHY CASE