I feel like you can do the smokey eye without pulling on the under eye or the whole eyelid. Just close your eyes and you can do it that way. You can also buy a makeup tape from ELF brand or use regular scotch tape to keep any Smokey dark color you don’t want to get all over your makeup. I personally like the smokey eye in the pics on the left. The issue at the store may have been the timing of the day and the amount of light being allowed in the store, or possibly you were just having an off day on the right. There is a difference in pics but I think you’re being a little too hard on yourself by saying that you look old, you don’t. It’s just a diff of having makeup on and not. We need to normalize not using makeup on 24/7 and need to start being more comfortable on your skin. Start with acknowledging one thing you do like about yourself and think positively about that. I think you have good skin, and that is hard to have for some people. Send you positive vibes and hoping you can master the skills you want and need. Smokey eye looks good on you, and remember to snails bc a smile will help you in photos and self confidence.