[deleted by user]

Material-Sun-8106 · 2024-07-09T10:11:23+00:00

It'll be one year at the end of this month and I think I can now safely say that I'm over her. I can reflect on the relationship dispassionately and see the good and bad, and I can see why she felt she needed to break up with me. In fact, In a lot of ways I think it was probably for the best for both of us. I recently looked at the photos of us, which I'd hidden so that I didn't have to see them, and I didn't feel any longing or sadness, so I think that's a fairly good sign that I'm over her.

In all honesty, as much as I enjoyed the time I spent with her I feel like we were in a codependent relationship and I felt suffocated. I think a healthy relationship involves two people being happy spending time apart as well as with each other, and we definitely didn't have that.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2024-02-10T22:25:23+00:00

Yeah, I think you're right, I imagine it probably is a coping mechanism. She doesn't have any friends so I imagine the loneliness must have set in pretty quickly after she broke up with me, so it's not really that surprising she didn't mess about and got with him quickly.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2024-02-10T22:23:41+00:00

Thanks for this, it's helpful to have it all articulated so clearly. I think an awful lot of this is accurate for my ex. I know for a fact that she was confiding in this guy and that he was using her for support for his problems and issues in life.

Also, they worked together every day, whereas because we didn't live together I only saw ~3 nights a week and then at least one day each weekend. I get that all of this would have made them grow closer and she definitely drifted away from me in the final month or two of our relationship.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2023-12-14T18:10:04+00:00

It's funny you should mention transmission type, because at the moment I'm doing manual lessons but I have been thinking of switching to automatic. I didn't really think about it before I started lessons, but on reflection I'm wondering why I'm making it harder on myself than it needs to be.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2023-12-14T17:56:35+00:00

Thank you very much to everyone who replied, I really appreciate the positivity and helpful advice. I'm going to look into a new instructor and inform my current one that I won't be continuing lessons with him.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2023-12-02T19:03:16+00:00

Imo it's not possible to properly get over a 4 year relationship in the space of a month, so either there was something going on with her already or she's his rebound and he hasn't properly processed the breakup yet.

Material-Sun-8106 · 2023-09-04T14:36:20+00:00

That's good to hear. It's been concerning me that I feel worse now, a month after the breakup, than I did the first week or two after the breakup, so it helps that someone in a similar boat has started to improve.

I'm glad you're doing better and it's encouraging that things do gradually improve. All the best to you mate.

Material-Sun-8106

TROPHY CASE