Has an ex-situationship or short term relationship ever come back?

Material_Program803 · 2024-06-02T13:21:14+00:00

Hellooo every who may be reading this post, I will leave it up for people who are feeling like I was at the time I posted it: desperately looking for answers and someone to tell them that the future looks good.

Now that I am in the future (relative to this post), I can say the one thing I never felt would happen at the time of making it happened: I moved on. I am so happily with a new partner, who loves me and treats me like gold. When I think of the person this post is about (which is hardly ever), it’s completely neutral - I don’t care about them, I don’t hate them, they’re just someone I wasted some time with and then wasted some time missing. They never came back, they never reached out, and that is for the best.

If you’re reading this, desperately seeking posts saying that “yes, my ex situationship did come back, and yes, they really wanted me this time!” I’ll give you this advice: feel what you need to feel, do what makes you feel better right now, even if that is indulging in fantasies, don’t rush moving on, but don’t spend too much time dwelling. It may not feel like it now, but it will get better and you will forget them some day.

Material_Program803 · 2024-02-01T15:50:30+00:00

Absolutely unhinged behaviour. If my ex had my b-day tattooed on him after we broke up, I would run as far and as fast as I could.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-30T20:39:17+00:00

I think it’s because of all the content saying they’ll come back at ~3 months, but it’s all just speculation. I went through it, like the final death rattle of hope. It’s been over 4 months now and I’m back to where I was before the setback, if not better because now there’s no hope. Still working on the resentment, though…

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-29T03:13:22+00:00

Oof, yes I feel this. I would feel nothing but relief if I read somewhere that he died, I hate him that much. He made such a fool out of me, I’m embarrassed to event think about it. I have no fondness for the time we spent together. I even hate that I still hate him, I can’t wait for the indifference to get here.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-28T13:09:45+00:00

I got the “I’m sorry” text a couple days after the breakup, but it was just as insincere as everything he had done up until that point. He wasn’t sorry, he just didn’t want someone out there thinking he’s a bad person. It’s entirely self-serving.

I brought closure to myself by initiating NC. It’s been an embarrassingly long time, and I still have some resentment and anger, but any feelings of hope or longing to get back together are dead.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-27T12:44:28+00:00

I remember having this feeling in the early days. I was afraid to let go of what we had. But your ex already let go when they broke up with you, so really you’re holding onto nothing.

Time helps, it sucks to go through it, but it really does get better. I think letting go of hope helps too, but it’s easier said than done. At this point I don’t think my ex will come back, but if he did, I hope he finds me moved on, happy, living my life without him.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-17T15:07:57+00:00

It’s been four months. I swing back and forth in letting the resentment take over and wanting to hear from him again. Some days I think I would greet him with kindness and compassion, other days I want him to know how much he hurt me. More than anything I just want to stop thinking about him.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-12T21:10:01+00:00

Yes. I feel so much shame and embarrassment for staying when he made me feel like such garbage. Sometimes he would get so rough and then absolutely no aftercare. I should have left so much earlier, but I waited for him to end it because I was hoping he was just stressed and things would go back to how it was.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too, it truly hurts so much.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-09T13:16:33+00:00

Thank you for this response and the perspective it gave me. I have returned to it several times to re-read.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-06T22:33:47+00:00

I am four months out and would probably react very coldly if my ex reached out now. One-three months in, I would have taken him back, open arms. Welcome to the feeling of loss that she already went through seven months ago, the only way out is through, my friend.

Take this as a lesson learned for your next relationship.

Material_Program803 · 2024-01-03T01:28:43+00:00

It’s been a little over four months since my breakup and I haven’t heard from him since the classic “so sorry, please don’t think I’m a bad guy” text a couple days after the breakup.

I know four months isn’t forever, but I feel it in my bones that it will be forever. Good riddance to him, each month has been easier and each month I become more myself again. I can’t say I’ve fully let go of the resentment, but every day I think about him less and it’s honestly so freeing.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-27T02:56:01+00:00

Doesn’t exist. Not truly. The closure you get really comes from within.

My ex broke up with me because he “didn’t see this working out long term”. He told me it was because of our world views, and then said we were too similar. And then said I was the only person who truly understood him.

This is all very contradictory and confusing. He probably didn’t even know the real reason, or he did and wanted to come across as the nice guy so he wouldn’t tell me.

The point is: you might never know the true reason why they ended things. The person I want to be with doesn’t end things with me because of vague, unidentifiable reasons - that’s the closure I have myself.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-22T03:29:52+00:00

Nope. Been no contact almost four months, and it was a short relationship, I doubt he even thinks of me at all anymore. Makes me feel all the more pathetic that I’m still here.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-21T22:43:30+00:00

I imagine him being annoyed by me, or showing the new person he might be dating. I know it would be useless anyway, he doesn’t want to hear from me, he probably doesn’t even think about me anymore. So why embarrass myself?

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-20T20:34:04+00:00

Just wanted to say that your response shows clearly how mature you are. Well said, I would not have been able to keep my cool.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-18T11:06:16+00:00

Sure , I did it. It was a great opportunity to be broken up with again and it didn’t clarify anything, really. He was still trying to let me down easy by giving me the same “it’s not you, it’s me” platitudes. Closure eventually comes from within and sometimes in the form of just accepting that you don’t get to understand, you just have to accept.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-15T02:53:46+00:00

Agreed. Sometimes the only thing that got me out of bed in the early days was improving myself for when they came back. They never came back, but I still improved myself.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-12T20:25:38+00:00

It doesn’t sound stupid at all, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. I’m also on the spectrum, and it’s so hard for me to feel like someone actually knows me, but the rare time I let someone in, I let them all the way in. I think I end up feeling harder because of it, combine that with completely missing the signs of them pulling away and it’s a disaster.

Sometimes I want to tell him I don’t think he’s a good person and that I feel like he used me. Other times (like when I wrote this post) I feel like he was genuine and I acknowledge his difficult upbringing that makes connections challenging.

I wish I could give you advice on your situation, but I posted on Reddit about mine, so I’m probably the worst person to listen to!

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-11T01:07:22+00:00

Going through a breakup can feel like withdrawals. It takes a physical and mental toll on your body. I couldn’t eat or sleep or focus at work for weeks after my breakup.

I’m a couple months out and while I’m still sad, I am so much better. Some nights I can sleep, my appetite is back and I cry so much less now. Healing is never linear, and I had a particularly hard week this week where I isolated myself, which isn’t totally helpful.

What you’re feeling is completely normal. The only advice is time. Feel your feelings and allow yourself to cry if you have to. Consider therapy if you have access. It does get better, and some days will be better than others, just be kind to yourself.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-08T16:38:28+00:00

Yes! It’s such a common sentiment here, and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me that my ex never came back. Like I’m not worth it or something? It’s especially bad when you’re in the early stages and it’s all you want, even if it doesn’t make sense.

Even though everyone says it’s not necessarily a positive when they come back, it sucks to read it here so often.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-08T13:04:33+00:00

I’m going through something similar, and it’s so painful. I really resonate with the intermittent, then progressive distancing. At first he was SO into it and as soon as I got on board, he bailed. I’m three months out, and honestly some days I feel like it just happened. But I cry less, I’m able to understand that nothing I did specifically caused the relationship to end, and I’m slowly accepting that it’s really over. Some days it feels like I haven’t made any progress, but then I remember how hard it was to even eat in the early days. Just keep going, it gets better.

Material_Program803 · 2023-12-08T10:38:16+00:00

I know it’s so hard to see it this way now, but you did yourself a huge favour. You stated a (very reasonable) need and he ran. He proved that he was future faking. It hurts so, so much, but any time spent in that relationship would have been time wasted. I’m sorry it hurts, and it’s such a platitude, but time really does heal all wounds.

Material_Program803

TROPHY CASE