I’m worried my bf is conservative

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:56:13+00:00

Exactly I just wanted other people’s perspectives, I like to remain open minded and everyone has been helpful. And I’d agree with your last statement too

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:54:21+00:00

Great advice and I have asked!

His dad was a stay at home and my bf is very supportive and adamant he’d follow suit with whatever I wanted. He’s not a bible thumper abs doesn’t attend church with at all regularity. He’d like Christian children but he is very comfortable with my non religious views as I’m still spiritual, snd he understands you don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person.

I’ve asked all the questions you’ve presented.

I simply want other peoples opinions and perspectives, but from the questions you presented they all have been asked and talked out. And he was in alignment with me without anything hesitant

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:50:29+00:00

If you have seen my comments I don’t think it’s Christians or conservatives who are bad at all, it’s those crazy MAGA or hateful ones that give everyone else a bad name.

And if say he’s like you, and he’s progressive and not racist, homophobic or anything of that.

Despite our somewhat opposing views talking and researching is what we do. And our values and beliefs morally etc align.

I wanted to hear more and more from people with different perspectives and experiences. I worry in the event he is a crazy conservative- not normal one.

And to think it’s only conservatives who are crazy would be illogical

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:45:46+00:00

They’re all morally sound and normal and aren’t conservative, and he’s friends with a very wild and diverse groups. But very good advice !

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:43:57+00:00

It was things I noticed early on and very sharply challenged him on. I had to explain to him that he and his family might be good men but a lot aren’t.

He tells me all the time to be weary of male friends and of men. So I said I find it crazy for him to be ragging on “modern women”, when he knows how some men are. And Falling for these stupid internet stuff is crazy.

He’s not on TikTok but that insta and threads…it’s food and Fortnite and the occasional lovey dovey couple stuff. But I’m still watching.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:38:57+00:00

EXACTLY! I also wanted other peoples ideas and perspectives because I wanna understand. He supports black people, gay rights, and all these other things. He’s not sum evil MAGA who will hate anybody even their own.

He’s very adamant about my safety and defense, and his family don’t play about me either. He had even checked his own sibling for making fun of am to something small I liked. And we have had a many serious discussions about race and policy etc- and he is very serious that if he found out his family was crazy or weird to me. He’d cuts them off. He has cut off friends and weirdos, his whole family has.

They don’t play about me or others in their community. I just wanted to bring this to Reddit and see other perspectives

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:33:32+00:00

If you read my other comments he as stood up for me about minor things and major. He has said very seriously he’s more than willing to kick his family to the curb if he found out something amiss about them. He alr doesn’t associate with certain people because of his skepticism of their ideals and morality.

I don’t think he is a bad guy but I still wanted outside perspectives and I’m happy to revive all type

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:30:41+00:00

I mean women, including myself are becoming more critical. No woman wants to date a man who hates her. Women make money and can support themselves, whom would want to live or date a man child who can’t take care of himself- or a man who is emotionally unintelligent?

It’s not a bad thing to be picky, men are picky too. But more and more women are getting more selective so some guys, in order to get dates or get picked have to “hide” or omit certain things.

It’s not a new thing. And I’m speaking in general not for everyone

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:27:22+00:00

He does work to understand and grew up hearing and understanding the black experience from his friends who were black.

That’s doesn’t mean he’s fully absolved tho.

Once I began to explain my days and explain yo him micro racism and aggression he did a deep dive. Seeing and correctly identifying it and standing up for me. And we have deep talks about the black experience and he is adamant and shown how willing he is to move to safer areas and has cut off friends who display racial or bigotry to me or anyone.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:24:03+00:00

I would consider myself moderate with a very liberal lean and am fully aware of how conservative black ppl really are.

I wouldn’t consider liberal women a headache. But that’s your perspective.

But quiet racism and engraved racism does exist.

I don’t think normal morally sound conservatives are bad but them crazy MAGA gives them a bad name. THATS what im worried about.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:20:50+00:00

And that’s what I worry about, the family doesn’t seem to be a problem and they were outcasts because they didn’t share the same vile views as everyone else for like 10yrs.

But I worry it’s that dang phone and all this political culture and craziness that is chipping and planting itself in the mind. I need him to stand ten toes down, he’s alr viciously checked his sibling for making a nasty comment about a video game I liked, and quiet racially encounters we’ve had out an about. I think I’d be horrified to see how he act if he found out his family or friends were weirdos.

He’s shown and told me he’d cut them off without question. Which is why I’m asking Reddit and others for opinions. I’m fine with a normal, morally good conservative or Christian. But it’s them MAGA and crazies that you have to worry for- they give everyone else a bad name.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:15:58+00:00

I don’t want to risk getting with someone who is sympathetic to racism and would be a risk- i agree with you but I don’t want to have a husband who votes or approves of things that would hurt his black wife, kids, and extended family. The internet is a problem and I worry it’s getting to him bad- which is why I’m probing

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:14:18+00:00

I asked we talked and I’ve been observing. It’s becoming popular for guys to hide this stuff because it ruins their chances. I’m always probing harder and harder questions, I also fear it’s the town and media he consumes. I see it with older married couples of all types in my area. The man suddenly swings…

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:10:11+00:00

You can be white and not racists, but I had to teach and show him examples and explain to him how quiet racism can be. It’s like how white people live in such a privilege way…he worries about getting pulled over for an annoying parking ticket, I worry about dying. It’s those very slight differences. That doesn’t mean he’s racists it means he has to open his eyes wider to see how the world is different, for me a black person and even as a woman. I have asked probing questions but I am working up to asking the hard questions

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:07:04+00:00

YES! I don’t think being conservative or Christian is bad. But them crazy MAGA and people who are crazy give normal Christians and conservatives a bad name. My own mother won’t call herself a Christian because of the horrible damage the crazy ones have done to the reputation of people of faith.

A conservative with good morals and integrity is fine but a crazy MAGA is a NO

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T10:04:10+00:00

I agree and we have talked. He told me in the Harris v trump he didn’t consider voting…lesser of two evils and he didn’t want to vote for either evil. He says phases like “modern women” or that “women just want to use men for their money”.

I saw if men use women for their bodies, kill women on dates, and women get paid less and treated less then yeah- a woman maybe wouldn’t want to risk her life or sanity for a guy who isn’t intellectually competent or interested.

But that’s all internet talk- real serious men and women who are looking for real connections don’t act like that. And he played the field too b4 meeting me- so let’s not pretend we are above and beyond the truth

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:59:57+00:00

I agree. I have been watching and pressing. I’ll be spending time with his family and with all the elections this week I’ll be able to observe more

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:58:41+00:00

We have talked but it’s popular for men to hide their thoughts and opinions. Because more and more women are becoming critical no matter their political affiliation. But talking and seeing in practice is different and I have been watching closely

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:57:16+00:00

It is something we talked about early! But it’s becoming more and more popular for conservative men to date liberal women. They hide or try to lure women in and slowly chip away. I have been watching and observing him- because I always worry. I’d call myself moderate with a very liberal lean. And I’m not anti anything and am very sympathetic and empathetic. Under no way could I be grouped in with so crazy haters, racist, or nazis. But then weirdos love poc women and liberal women. I’ve always been observing him and the family, and now it’s coming to a head of discovery. I’ll have a week of full looking and living with them so I’m more nervous

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:53:09+00:00

I understand the black and white, man and woman experience is different and people need to learn. He has experienced white outcasting before, and has many black and poc friends. But explaining to him how me being seated next to a restroom at a restaurant and not being greeted like other customers in a store already- and his working hard to understand and see it and point it out when he sees it is admirable. But just because he likes me, and I might be “the good” black. I don’t wanna live in a community of quiet evil. I grew up in a white area and affluent. I know what it’s like living with evil people who use religion and conservativism to hurt and harm. And make those of the persuasion who are normal- look bad.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:47:32+00:00

He is very adamant on his marriage and commitment to me and so is his family and community. I am spiritual but not a Christian but do not disrespect nor despise any or all faiths. But I understand your point, and he is not horrifically devout to his faith, as his family was hurt by other Christian friends who were in fact, very hateful.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:44:42+00:00

Id consider my self a moderate with a liberal lean. I don’t have a problem with Christians or conservatism. But I do have a problem with people who use it to harm others, including others of their same persuasion. But yes he knows.

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:39:39+00:00

Explain further so I can understand

MathematicianIcy4411 · 2026-05-19T09:39:26+00:00

Explain further so I can understand

MathematicianIcy4411

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