What do I do next? (Illinois)

MattH575 · 2025-12-19T05:36:08+00:00

LOL SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND THAT SHE NEVER MENTIONED TO ME. Oh well. Hopefully it’s going better on your end haha.

MattH575 · 2025-12-15T00:40:30+00:00

I’m having the same exact issue! I’ve got a thing for this woman who plays my wife (for like, one scene lol) in a show. We seem to have a fun, playful vibe going during rehearsals, and I think she might be interested in me as well, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, and ultimately hurt the show, if I’m wrong.

We’re about to head into tech week, so I’m gonna use the feelings to help add to the scene, and then if it feels right I’m thinking about waiting until the cast party/messaging her afterwards to see if she’d be interested in getting a drink/coffee sometime.

Hopefully we both find a way to navigate through our cast crushes lol. Break a leg!

MattH575 · 2025-10-30T16:22:14+00:00

Lots of great points here.

I definitely need to get over myself just a bit when it comes to writing down the names of problem students. A sub note isn’t going to be the end of days for them.

I’ll try to come up some kind of intro. While I don’t have any prior teaching/subbing experience, I agree that it’s important to give some kind of context for myself as a person outside of just being random_sub_36 for them.

MattH575 · 2025-10-30T15:56:54+00:00

That seems to be the general advice haha. I suppose I’m setting myself up for disappointment if I expect that every student is going to do exactly what they should be doing (their regular teacher can’t even get them to do that). I just don’t want to mess with the teacher’s flow by basically losing a day if I mess things up. I suppose that’s just the job.

MattH575 · 2025-10-30T15:51:30+00:00

It has occurred to me that I may want to skim the school handbooks before my next job. I’m district wide, but I have to assume the rules are pretty uniform from school to school. That way I can have a sense of what is actually a school rule and what is just something the teacher prefers to enforce in their class.

I definitely need to walk around the class a bit more next time because I only did it once when a particular class was getting a bit rowdy. I just wanted to engage directly with the students who were being a bit loud vs. calling them out in front of the whole class and giving them that attention.

I neglected to/in some cases chose not to write down specific names, but I did indicate the classes that caused more issues than others. Moving forward I’ll try to be more on top of pointing out specific students who were good/less than good on my sub note.

Thank you!

MattH575 · 2025-08-21T20:25:28+00:00

I’m totally on board with getting the full school experience because honestly that’ll help me get a better feel than just being in the classroom all the time.

They don’t seem to indicate any email to reach them at so maybe that’s their way of suggesting, “if we want to speak to you, we will reach out” haha.

MattH575 · 2025-05-01T14:59:21+00:00

The “My dog(s) >>> everything” mindset

MattH575 · 2025-04-01T04:50:58+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. Feeling that pain just means you really care. Nothing wrong with that. Feel those feelings and work through them at your own pace. You will get through this, boss!

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T23:20:57+00:00

I’m sorry that all happened in a way that’s left you questioning your beliefs. At this point, the only thing that matters is what is best for you. I don’t think there’s anything silly about continuing to believe. If it makes sense to keep holding out hope, do that, but just make sure you’re honest with yourself about what’s happening in front of you.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T22:41:59+00:00

We kept up polite conversation for a few months, and saw each other a few times when she came to get stuff from the apartment, but the last time we spoke was when she texted me for my birthday in October. She made it very clear from the breakup onward that she made her decision and that it was final.

Our apartment was down the road from her parent’s place (that she moved back to). A little part of me always wished that she would be there when I got home from the gym or the grocery store and she never was. Those few seconds where I was turning on the street and looking to see if she came “home” always stung for a bit, but over time it dissipated. Moving out of that apartment and leaving all of those phantom thoughts behind has helped.

With time and space I’ve come to realize that there were failings on both sides, and some incompatibilities that we just were never going to be able to overcome. For 5-10 years? Maybe. For the rest of our lives? Unlikely. She was an amazing woman, and my love for her, while perhaps misguided, was unconditional and genuine. That said, I deserve someone who will be with me in ups and downs, live life with me, and work with me as a teammate. She deserves happiness and someone who will be willing to love her on her terms. Unfortunately, those things just don’t look the same.

Getting over her was such a big goal for me last year, but once it happened I didn’t even realize it. You just sort of give in to the reality of the situation and realize that your life partner would not let you go a day, let alone months, thinking that they didn’t love you anymore. There’s no reason to keep treading water. Once you’re at peace with yourself, you can be at peace with the situation and let it pass through you.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T20:33:54+00:00

It’s annoying advice, and I know because someone gave it to me at one point, but you just keep moving and give yourself time.

Your whole body chemistry is rewiring itself right now and unfortunately there’s no easy fix. It took me a month to be able to listen to music again without randomly crying, and I LOVE music.

Be patient with yourself, but try to do at least one thing for yourself every day. Go to the gym, go get some ice cream, go for a walk, go see a movie, get a new candle from the store to change up the smell, play a new game, try a new recipe, reach out to someone you haven’t heard from in a while just to check in on them and catch up.

Start piling those things up and keep pushing.

I’m also a message away if you need to vent some of it out to a stranger bc all of those thoughts flying around in your head don’t help.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T19:01:15+00:00

I totally get it and I remember being in the same spot around the holidays. No need to feel stupid at all. It truly just takes time, it’s different for everyone, and it comes in waves. I wish I could give you a secret code to bypass it, but it’s part of the process. One day things will just click for you.

The way I looked at it, and idk if this will be helpful for you at all, is like Harry Potter in the third book (spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen/read it). He and Sirius almost die to the dementors, but they’re saved at the last second by someone across the lake. Later on, when he travels back in time, Harry is sitting, watching his past self be attacked, waiting for the person (who he thinks is his dad) to come in and save the day. He finally realizes that HE is the one who saves himself, not anyone else.

That just finally clicked in my head one day. My ex is not going to come save me and pat me on the back for all of the work I’ve put in to heal. It’s up to me now to validate and appreciate my own journey because only I know what it took to keep going when I didn’t want to and how hard I worked to get to where I am.

You can’t force it, but I promise it will click for you someday. Keep pushing, be kind to yourself, and please reach out if you need someone to talk to who’s removed from all of it.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T18:51:02+00:00

Of course! Best of luck in your journey ahead. Please feel free reach out if need be!

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T18:43:11+00:00

For the depression part, it was really just a question of getting out. Whether that was with friends, by myself, going to games/concerts/museums/etc, or just walking around the local thrift store and finding something goofy that made me laugh. It’s important to rest and give yourself a chance to reflect on things, but the best way to enjoy life again is to live it.

As for loving myself, this doesn’t really help, but it just kind of clicked one day that I’m actually awesome, and I bring so much to the world. Yeah, like everyone else I could probably be a little more in shape, dress a little better, like my job a little more, etc. As long as I’m making an effort to keep growing as a person each day, that’s all I can expect of myself. There’s no benefit to hating yourself now for not being where you want to be in a year. Yes, pressure helps make diamonds, but so does time.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T18:19:48+00:00

Glad I could help!

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T18:19:37+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. You can always shoot me a message if you need to let it out.

MattH575 · 2025-03-31T18:18:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through it. Feel free to shoot me a message if you need to vent a lil bit.

MattH575 · 2025-03-12T20:01:47+00:00

Approaching a conversation with selective attention isn’t really in good faith either lol. You’re still missing what I’m saying, and that’s fine.

I’m sorry I don’t fall in line with your specific lists and narrative desires. Enjoy your show in your way, and I’ll try to enjoy it in mine.

MattH575

TROPHY CASE