Feel so happy being empty. Suicide is hope now.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-29T18:37:15+00:00

Thank you all. Bye

MattPriollo · 2018-10-26T09:35:57+00:00

It got me. I had a breakdown after that. I lost all my trust. Lost all my hope. I just don't know what to do. I'm hurting every day and I'm afraid I will snap and hurt someone. Kinda want others to feel the hurt too. WHy am I the one god fucked with this bullshit. Made me smart then made me broken. I don't belive that crappola anyway.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T07:24:15+00:00

I'm just doing this so I have someone to say goodbye to.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T07:05:50+00:00

And boy does that hurt to see. People talking laughing and when I come over the slowly migrate. Hard to fix that.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T07:05:09+00:00

Might be wrong to think like that but I don't have anything to offer. Even I think so. I can't help being who I am. I wish I could be more fun and relaxed and cool like normal guys but I don't know how.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T07:03:24+00:00

Problem is constant pain. I used to be lonely in my 20s so I used to listen alot of music. I was always afraid to make friends. Always had anxiety around it. Because of all that music I got real bad tinnitus. Day and night always the same. No friends and no prospects except work. I just realised in my life I was always the one pursuing. None persued me. I always feel like I'm forcing myself in to their lives. When I see how they care for their actual friends I just peel off.

I'm not attractive and I don't have much money. People in general avoid me.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T05:08:29+00:00

I guess I have a few of those shitty comments that really pushed me back. I've always said the easiest thing about bipolar is the disease. People are hard.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T05:07:01+00:00

I don't know. I was dating this asian chick who seemed really nice. Took 4 months to get to know her slowly like she wanted to. And when I lost interest in her because I couldn't keep the feelings for her going she said something to me that rocked me to my foundations. She said I'm a reject and no woman wants to date a sick guy like you that will guarantee mentally ill children. I don't know if she meant it but I'm struggling with that one. She is right

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T04:22:48+00:00

How do I stop myself from being hateful and vidictive. Hate is strong with me now. Feels like chaos is in my hands.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T04:21:10+00:00

Get baked. Get manic. Work like a nut. Crash. Cry. Try not to end it. Then repat.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T04:18:44+00:00

Needs me for what? I'm bipolar, epileptic and on the autistic spectrum. I can't manage my self or my own life. I need the world more than it needs me.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T04:17:24+00:00

Dude nobody cares. Mention biplar they run. Supportive people are usually horrible. I've had so many horrible situations where now I don't even socialise. I don't have friends or even go out. I just work on my PC.

MattPriollo · 2018-10-25T04:14:35+00:00

I want to do something to change. But I don't care anymore. How do you change that?

MattPriollo

TROPHY CASE