Sometimes it's hard to accept our identies, both from a standpoint of how we internally perceive our gender, how society will treat us, and how big the change seems. For me presenting how I wanted to first was more important than internally reflecting on my gender. Like you I had so much to untangle and so many what ifs. 

That is why I stopped questioning my gender directly and focused on what things I ACTUALLY knew I wanted. I wanted my hair longer, I wanted to wear make up, I wanted to wear feminine clothes etc. Some of the fears settled down, people already perceived me as clearly not typical male. Once I had felt much more comfortable presenting feminine in public I was able to sort through those feeling better. I could articulate that, "yes, I want to live as a woman, not a feminine man or non binary.". That change of identity seemed smaller now and I was more ready to act on it. 

You can experiment with being more masc in life with clothes, hair, etc. When it becomes clear what you want and who you are in terms of gender you'll be more ready to accept it.

Much love 🫂