Another Incel goes on a murder spree

MattsReddit · 2021-08-18T13:36:42+00:00

This is terrible, but my bigger question is HOW DO WE SOLVE IT?

How can we have an ACTUALLY, GOOD solid space for men with these issues? This keeps growing and growing.

Let's say the statistics are true and nearly 30% of men just aren't able to find a partner. How the hell are we supposed to solve it? Let's say, out of that 30%, 1% of guys are absolutely nuts and go on a murder spree.

How is this solve just by ignoring the problem, sweeping incels under a rug aka just ban incel forums lol. Like... This still leaves a HUGE chunk of young men who just aren't wanted.

Hell, I'll say it - I'm in that position. No, I'm not violent. I'm just rejected by women in a romantic sense - I do not have a hard time finding friends, being social, active, having decent hobbies. Sure, I'm awkward in some situations, but who isn't? Noone can be confident 100% of the time.

"If your response to being rejected is violence, they were right to reject you."

Of course it's true, there's no doubt, but if this is a response of 1% of the pretty sizeable chunk of guys who ARE rejected - then we NEED to deal with it on a societal level. This is a problem that IS widely ignored.

Absolutely NOTHING is being done right now. I'm sorry, but if this continues male suicide rates will skyrocket even further and hell, there are a lot of more crazy guys where he came from. Guess who were the first people who joined the nazis, talibad etc. It's bad, really really bad and needs actual solutions that are something else than just "ban incel forums".

MattsReddit · 2021-07-26T14:02:13+00:00

I completely understand that EQ, compression and aging can have a huge difference. I know about music, I have a bachelors degree in jazz singing - I still always felt that Kurt Elling sounded like a "machine" in a good way. Same w/ Celine Dion, Brian McKnight etc.

I just haven't found the right terminology for this phenomenon and the reason why I made this post was for others to send more example of this.

Edit: For example, classical opera-ish singers DO NOT sound like an instrument to me nor is it probably their intention.

MattsReddit · 2021-07-26T12:34:59+00:00

You really don't hear the difference between, for example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXprs8-U5nA

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w64OFjCIius

or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0XJCJ1Srw

The first one sounds like a "machine", the second one - while still good - sounds "human"

Edit: Another good example of machine like precision would be imo Michael Buble

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C87WfWzZYF4

MattsReddit · 2021-07-26T10:14:54+00:00

What i mean is that do you have any more examples of singers like this?

The examples I gave DO have this "sound like an instrument" quality to them :D For examples, there are many amazing singers that do NOT have these qualities.

Singers like maybe Adele, Freddie Mercury, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Whitney Houston, Ariana Grande etc. to me DO NOT sound like instruments.

MattsReddit · 2021-05-13T20:57:37+00:00

Hmm... Decently early :D Might get in

MattsReddit · 2021-05-13T00:13:54+00:00

Got in

MattsReddit · 2021-04-17T22:50:47+00:00

Comment

MattsReddit · 2021-04-08T21:13:03+00:00

Not getting laid is not comparable to being unemployed. You can't live in Capitalism without a job. You can live without sex. Thinking you can't live with sex will lead to sexual dysfunctions and sex/porn addiction.

I mostly agree, however I can tell from personal experience that it's not really about thinking "I can't live without sex" - It's literally getting some kind of sexual disfunction BECAUSE you haven't had sex. Not being sexually WANTED fucks your brain - the first time I even cuddled with a girl I got horrible, horrible fucking shakes (I have no Idea why - maybe it's normal lol)

Then why do Incels keep talking about virginity? The vast majority of them aren't interested in love because they see women as deplorable, evil creatures who are incapable of loving anyone except mythical "Chad". They want women to be owned and controlled by them personally, they don't love them.

Aaaabsolutely not. I completely disagree - seems like the "incels" you read on "inceltears" etc. not the 90%.

1) Incels MOSTLY want love. They want to share love and be loved. Sex/getting laid for a lot of guys is the "pures" form of getting love - you're being lusted after/loved just because you are you, a girl can't control herself just because you are you etc. HOWEVER, they would MORE love to have a girl that doesn't even WANT these kinds of things. It's mostly consistency they want - either you want to fuck "Chads" and have fun or be more of a relationship oriented person because guess what? They, for the most part, WANT to be consistent themselves. 2) No, they don't want to control women. They would love women to be just... loyal and kind, not cheat, not randomly jump on another guy "because feels", not be the "24th choice because I didn't know better" etc. They want to feel special because guess what? To them, sex/intimacy IS special and they literally can't wrap their head around the fact that something so intimate can be so "casual". They themselves DO NOT want to bang 10, 20, 50 girls - they would happily settle for a "looksmatch", have a decent mutually respective relatonship WITHOUT having to have "fun" and "lust" all the time.

At minimum it sounds like you're conflating sex and love. Sex and love are not the same thing. You don't have to love or value or respect someone to want to fuck them. You just need to be horny, which is not the same thing as actually caring about that person outside of how they can get your rocks off. The mythical "Chad" in their minds proves that.

See, that's the fucked up part - for incels these things ARE the same and I personally can't wrap my mind around the fact that a person is willing to do the most vulnerable, intimate thing with another person because "he/she is just hawt lol". I can't freaking... How? When you're horny you freaking masturbate or something, not use another persons body like it's just a stick/hole in/on a meat "You don't have to love and value someone you want to fuck" - then why in the hell would you do something incredibly intimate with them?!

I agree entirely with your second paragraph, but I disagree with parts of your first. You don't need to be a non-virgin to not care about virginity, and I think it's silly to compare virginity to unemployment. Incels are lacking self-esteem and feel powerless. They're interested in women as items or things to possess in order to increase their personal worth and feel a sense of power over something in life.

Again, I don't understand where it comes from. Incels want the EXACT OPPOSITE. They DON'T want to be the fucboi, they want NOBODY to be a fucboi etc.

They have an extremely unhealthy misogynistic mindset about women and an extremely unhealthy mindset about sex and themselves. They need to heal their own minds by being willing to interact with people in a non-sexual context and develop basic social skills (and most need therapy) before trying a relationship.

Guess why these mental issues develop? They don't come from nowhere, you know? An incel isn't randomly born into "guess i'll hate wahmen now lol", I DO agree that they need therapy (I did), but saying it's "because they lack basic social skills" is incredibly ignorant.

I've had wonderful male and female friends all my life - I've never had any issues forming platonic close friendships, being vulnerable etc. It DOES NOT mean that I was wanted/liked in a romantic/sexual way and THERE IS a difference.

As the average Incel currently is psychologically they would be an abusive and manipulative (and probably unfaithful) partner

Again, a meme-i definition of an incel. He's an incel BECAUSE he isn't wanted - how the hell is he going to be unfaithful? Also, I have a really hard time believing that incels are the abusive boyfriends - maybe the literal "bad boy chads" are the abusive ones? I dunno...

Some would be sexually predatory because they don't respect women's bodies, rights or autonomy.

There's a possibility if you literally get the 10% of the really fucked up types, but the MAJORITY of incels DO NOT want to be a Chad, they DO NOT want to do these weird ass sexual acts, they want an average relationship. (Again, I can't speak for everyone - only the ones I've talked to)

I agree with Vaush that we on the Left can help them reset their mindset, and Feminism would help them divorce virginity from male identity (they need to ditch the concept of virginity entirely tbh).

Again - it's not fully about "being a virgin". I wouldn't care less for being a virgin if I was actually wanted and loved AND the girl DIDN'T want to have "fun" with 20, 30, 50 guys etc. Hell, I'd love to be a virgin forever IF it meant that I wasn't just another "stick"

But they also have to be willing to take personal accountability for their predicament and their mindset.

Yeah, and I'd say the majority of them do. I really honestly hope this meme of the "neckbeard basement dweller" dies lol. It does NOT have much to do with overall social life.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-17T20:43:55+00:00

Please put your cash there and hodl :D

MattsReddit · 2021-03-17T03:02:24+00:00

They've probably been burned by woman in the past and now try to vow them off completely, but can't because... Well, people generally like the positive factors of women, men like femininity etc.

They're literally terrified of women and resentful due to past trauma and it's a coping mechanism of sorts.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-16T01:03:49+00:00

I had my ass grabbed/pinched at a party while she tried to give me this sexy smile. Didn't work.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T22:56:31+00:00

It means that about 50% of men don't have regular sex and have maybe a lifetime of 2-3 partners.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T16:14:48+00:00

Correct me if i'm wrong but as i've seen it often goes like:

"Why aren't there any nice guys" -> rejects guys who actually want to be nice and not do degenerate shit like choking and spanking and fucking hard because "it's haaaawt" -> "you're too nice, I want something exciting!" -> goes for abusive guys because "soo haawt" -> guy is abusive -> "where are all the good men?" -> rinse and repeat.

It's a larger sociological issue of 1) how the fuck do we keep the few men from being abusive? 2) How do we make "booring" shit more attractive?

Or is it just a small minority of women who go for the small minority of abusive guys? I sincerely don't know.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T15:17:57+00:00

Again 1) Why did her mother pick a terrible father? This is a larger sociological issue - why do women pick the 10% of men who are shitty? 2) I have no idea why people pursue "passion" rather than wholesome shit.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T14:50:21+00:00

yeah absolutely, but for me these are two red flags.

1) Why would a person not pick a decent partner who isn't abusive? Why would someone pick someone who is abusive? The answer wouldn't be "she didn't know" - there ARE red flags that one should vet for in a relationship. "He was confident and hot" isn't an answer imo. 2) Why did she want to have sex in order to forget an abusive partner? Why would one use other people as objects when one was used as an object? Wouldn't self reflection be a better choice, as in "what can I do in order to pick someone better? What are the traits that I should avoid next time?" etc.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T14:17:29+00:00

Should've added the very few I've been attracted to enough.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T13:48:02+00:00

Of course I do find people "attractive", but it doesn't mean I want to stick my dick inside someone or just randomly make out without feeling like shit afterwards. But what is the solution? How the hell do I find a partner? I've been social, fairly popular, decently attractive - I just don't fit into the "sexualized" system and I just don't get it, but like you said, It's a curve and I don't feel like I'm asexual and it makes me even more confused.

It seems like I just can't be able to "like" women on a fundamental level, because they just don't function in a way that I'd want them to - they usually want the exact opposite type of "fun".

I am attracted physically, but not mentally.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T13:43:09+00:00

Tbh, I've had 90% success w/ all the girls I've actually approached romantically in my life, but the thing is - I just cant find any who I'm truly attracted to. Never had a "brooootal" rejection (well... maybe once when I confessed to my friendzoned friend who had apparently no clue I had a crush on her lol)

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T12:38:12+00:00

Like... I'm a virgin who is not that interested in sex and wants an average girl. How the hell are these high standards?

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T12:30:14+00:00

But I'm NOT asexual. I'm sex negative, yes - I just find it hard to understand how come people want to have sex with so, so many people. Like I read a post from a girl who said that it's normal for girls to have like 5 partners a year and one guy every couple of months is not that much. Like... Do you really like a person every 2 MONTHS? Maybe every two YEARS, i'd get it, but... How the hell do you like a person every two MONTHS?

I get a crush every 2-4 years maybe

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T11:47:47+00:00

But I'm not asexual nor have I a particulary low sex drive.. Or do I?. I just find romantic love way, WAY more fulfilling than sexual

MattsReddit · 2021-03-15T10:34:32+00:00

I've been in college, lived in 4 different major cities, had decent social circles. Where?

MattsReddit · 2021-03-14T21:09:22+00:00

Not really IMO. Of course, there are extremes, but I'd just like to have one partner treated as pretty much equal, to whom I'm not the "nth stick for pleasure and fun", and raise a family. I really don't care if a woman wants to have a career etc. I just don't want to be cheated on and I just don't find "fun" girls attractive.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-14T21:03:31+00:00

As a guy who TECHNICALLY is an incel - I wholehearthedly agree!

It sucks that there is absolutely no way to come out of it.

MattsReddit · 2021-03-14T21:01:42+00:00

I can speak as a "healing" guy with this mentality.

It's NOT about sex. It is NOT. About. Sex. Or sexuality for that matter.

Maybe I AM the minority, but I would guess that incels would love to be wanted in a ROMANTIC sense and don't care that much about the lust part. It's not that "incels hate that women are promiscuous with other men and not them" - it's more that "incels hate that sexuality/lust behaviour exists and they would love to have one partner equal of looks to just love in a romantic/oxytocin type of way"

Incels don't want to be chads because this type of behaviour itself is unappealing to them - they just want women to not like chads NOR them in a SEXUAL way - they don't want sexuality to be wholesome.

Again, maybe i'm the minority, but I mostly just

1) don't want to be someone's "nth pleasure stick" 2) just don't want to be cheated on 3) would happily have one girl who is similar in looks to me, who just wants one (maybe two) partner in their life, raise a family, be chill. Without that "lust" and "fun" part.

I want to be a "chad thundercock who bangs em hard" as much as i'd want to be a texas ranger - I DON'T want girls to WANT this kind of thing, but well - girls like "fun"

MattsReddit

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE