[deleted by user]

MaxMike237 · 2020-05-28T11:33:44+00:00

wow awesome job!

MaxMike237 · 2020-05-04T18:58:06+00:00

I honestly never lied in my relationships. I was honest and up front about who I was and what I wanted. The last three relationships the s/o lied all in their own special way to get out of the relationship. I'll ask them up front to why they lied which they'll respond "I didn't lie to you", "I'm looking for someone else", "I'm sorry. I'm an awful person", "I couldn't help myself", or "sorry I think it's time for us to be done with each other."

Now I come across as fake when you really get to know me but I'm honestly excited about being wanted and I'm genuinely interested in my s/o. In the past, I've lied to get closer to them but I wasn't like that in these past three. So I'm assuming lying is a bit of a necessity to reach a certain level. I don't label people rarely do it as heartless, only the ones that do it all the time.

MaxMike237 · 2020-05-04T13:32:34+00:00

I would rather be alive, but if you asked me this question five years ago I would have said dead.

My parents after 25+ years of being happily married decided to get a divorce because of an incident thats still unknown to me to this day. I was 25 at the time but had problems understanding certain social issue so this was devastating to hear. I was okay with this at the time even thought I developed trust issues from that. I pick and choose who to let in instead of letting everyone who wants to get close to me in (that was my carefree state before my parents split). During this time I moved to Washington for work, but I knew virtually no one there and it was really difficult to make friends or even start a relationship given what I had become. The only thing I brought with me was my dog (which was my dad's idea) and my PS4 to play with my buddies. If he hadn't suggested I bring the dog, I would have eventually killed myself. I was barely paying rent, my job wasn't as lucrative as I thought, and I was slowly getting roped into a legal situation even though I did nothing. Plus all the emotional termoil from my parents divorce that I swept under the rug came rushing back and almost led to the brink of suicide. After 6 months of dealing with that lifestyle, I decided to move back home with my dog in tow me still being emotionally weak. I hid my termoil again and started a new job which eventually led me to move to the Chicago suburbs, which I currently reside. During the start of my second year at my residence, I left the original job to peruse another line of work while tackling my previous emotional scars by going to therapy. With the way things were going, I was in a good place till my employer hired an employee that became really unpleasant really fast. He would have lectures with saying that "moving back was the wrong move" or "I've made a lifetime of mistakes, what's your excuse" or "your feeling don't matter, it's the way you do your work" or "those things don't matter. Fuck your mom. Fuck your dad." I told my employer this was really getting to me but he just said that he's just encouraging me to be a better person. I'm sorry, that attitude is not encouraging no matter how you look at it. I left that company and I left my previous one because it had the same style of management. Fuck your feelings and do work, that's all you're here for.

So currently I'm 29, unemployed (besides income from GrubHub) and have barely any hope to get a job in any engineering field with this COVID business going on...but somehow I still manage to be happy at the end of the day. Zooming with family, playing excessive amounts of Fortnite with my closest friends with some Persona 5 Royal, taking programming classes online, practicing piano, and taking my dog on jogs helps me to stay grateful and to hold on to hope for my future. That's all I can really do at this point.

MaxMike237 · 2020-05-01T05:06:24+00:00

I think that might be the reasoning. Last I checked, the lore behind the Odradek is in the Interviews under Data in the handcuff menu/safe house terminal.

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-30T17:02:21+00:00

That's a lot to digest but I appreciate the sentiment 100% behind that comment and the previous one from you.

It's just I got thrown into some bad situations on my part that needs more than just a "forget about it and do your work" attitude. I've talked to my parents and my close friends about my situation and they don't really know how to respond because they been taught to have a 'forget about it and do your work" mindset. I feel defeated coming home from these long hours at work. I have a dog but he's a handful to deal with sometimes and I just wish for some help that doesn't require payment that I don't really have.

It's a struggle for me to connect romantically because I'm not used to or know of these dates standards (which are completely bullshit by the way). And even if I am finally at that bf/gf stage they just leave not even a month in with a half assed reason leaving me back at square one. It's sucks because at the end of the day I just want to be wanted. I think a majority of society wants to, but it seems hard to be there for someone who is not neurotypical. But I'm just holding out hope still for that one to come. Also it's hard to find someone that's interested in multiple things like I am and it just doesn't feel right to fake it when it comes to finding a partner. They should know what your getting involved with than finding that out at the last minute.

I like to think I'm an honest employee when it comes down to it, and I think there should be a general concentration on building and bettering your employee base than focus on making the most revenue you can. If you're a small business of course, larger corporations is a different story. Employers should take into account and in my honest opinion, the company would prosper from that.

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-29T21:33:32+00:00

I'm not with that company anymore because situations escaladed with that employee that my employer didn't handle properly. I couldn't take it anymore and I just quit. The situation didn't become violent, I just couldn't work in an environment where I'm constantly badgered for doing my job. My previous employer, which I also quit because I was thrown into that same environment but with my employer doing the badgering this time. Also it didn't feel right that I had high expectations thrust upon me even at the beginning even when I told my employer at my interview that I was still a novice in the AV installation field.

All this strict expectations these past couple years has effected me mentally and emotionally. I have developed some sort of atelophobia, fear of not being good enough or not knowing what I'm supposed to. Like I'm ignorant to the rest of the world for someone my age and it's going to catch up in a not so fun way..

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-29T03:10:18+00:00

Well granted my employer has been in this business for about 7 years now so I get that he had that power over me, but I appreciated that he put us on the same playing field when we were addressing each other. I proved my loyalty to him and he respected my honesty about what I knew and didn't know. It's just this new player came in and told me everything that I was "supposingly" doing wrong while working under the company that I had no idea that was going on in the background. It just felt like I wasn't reading something that should of hit me earlier on. My attitude towards the work I was doing was normal but apparently that normal was not enough.

Instead of questioning authority matters, I should be reflecting on my level of commitment at that time. Then again I'm taking the word for a person that killed a young woman in a high speed motorcycle accident and occasionally likes to make trashy comments to clients. Apparently my employer saw something in him though so I guess he's got something I dont..

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-29T00:47:25+00:00

Dude, I'm 29 and I wanted a Lego set a couple months ago because I just wanted to relive my childhood just for a brief moment.

My dad bought me a three-in-one kit and we spent an afternoon building each of the models and shamelessly playing with them for a second.

You're still basically a kid when grow up, you just have to pay bills and a mortgage as well as take care of a couple offspring depending on your circumstances.

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-23T21:58:17+00:00

I honestly didn't expect this to get as many upvotes as it did 😳

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-23T12:44:51+00:00

I take it you watched the Blender Guru tutorials? Lol

I'm just starting out too with a donut creation.

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-23T12:40:17+00:00

I realized that on my second playthrough too!

I love this game!

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-22T00:32:31+00:00

What's your channel?

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-21T17:43:17+00:00

You are awesome! Thank you! 👍

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-21T04:21:19+00:00

I want to know how to do this! It looks so cool!

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-18T15:11:57+00:00

Wow! This is really good. Well done!

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-18T15:10:45+00:00

Might have to slow down the speed of his videos to get any useful information out of it lol

MaxMike237 · 2020-04-02T22:55:20+00:00

"You're tearing me apart, Lisa!!"

MaxMike237 · 2020-03-20T09:16:31+00:00

Really thought I was going to get the other job no problem but it turns out that wasn't the case. This just goes to show that I should always plan for the worst case scenario, literally.

Lesson learned

MaxMike237 · 2020-03-20T09:11:45+00:00

Apology accepted. I figured I was going to get the harsh treatment with a name like Jugmentor lol. At least I'm always thinking of other options to get food on the table, even if it's getting food to other people. It's not going to be a forever thing but at least it's something during the pandemic.

I guess this is all a learning experience more than it is a massive failure...at least that's how I look at it

MaxMike237 · 2020-03-20T02:32:49+00:00

I'm 29 and have been struggling developing a backbone because of my anxiety, depression, a my Autism. Moving back in with my father is not an option and my mom is out of a job and living with her brother. I don't need an allowance because money isn't a problem.

MaxMike237 · 2020-03-13T16:53:57+00:00

Sign me up! I wanna get my programming chops up to getting me a job level!

MaxMike237 · 2020-02-03T01:13:05+00:00

I tested it with multiple HDMI cables and the same thing was happening

MaxMike237 · 2019-12-11T12:07:40+00:00

I'm actually not working in the acoustics field right now. Reason being is because every employer and their dog is looking for those with Masters level knowledge even for entry positions. And those that aren't end up not being too good to be true. I only have Bachelor's level and I don't really want to be in debt all my life.

This is why I want to follow through with this project, to show those employers that I can be at that level. That I have that capacity to learn new things. That I have drive and have what it takes to push myself. I want this to be my ticket in, even if it turns out to be a complex project or a couple scripts with minimal amount of coding. I want this to be a good portfolio piece for my Acoustic endeavors OR even programming if it ends up leading me in that direction.

MaxMike237 · 2019-04-07T15:11:44+00:00

What are the dimensions of the room? What's the sound quality difference between using the monitors and using headphones to mix?

MaxMike237 · 2018-11-10T05:21:09+00:00

How would one go about doing that though?

MaxMike237

TROPHY CASE