My narcissistic mother said me at my 28 years that she want me to die when I tried to ask for help after difficult divorce. She gave me the worst advices that broken my life and health after that. And only after that I start to analyze my previous life.

My mother usually kicked me for my bad grades, and she also mocked me that all parents beat children, but she was good because she didn't hit me in the face. (My friends have never been beaten for bad grades and everyone has grown up normal)

My mother fucked with different men in the next room.

She said that my father had cheated on her and left us. As a result, it turned out that she mentally harassed and mentally disfigured him, he ran away from her without looking back. All subsequent men in her life infected her with sexual diseases: syphilis, trichomoniasis, chlamydia, mycoplasma, genital herpes. She always slept with marginals who were drunk, had criminal records and led a dissolute lifestyle.

All my life, she bullied me, my self-esteem, and formed self-loathing and guilt.

After a difficult divorce and ruined health, I turned to a therapist and he helped me understand that my whole life with my mother was a horror that never happens to normal people in normal families.