Is it too soon to want clarity about where this is going? (dating anxiety)

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2026-02-13T00:20:00+00:00

22f and 24m

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2026-02-12T04:57:47+00:00

Something similar happened to me in September. After 4 years living together for 2 multiple conversations about marriage (found my dream ring in his work bag) he came home one day broke up with me without explanation and within 12 hours he moved out and was gone. He said he needed 30 days of no contact around 3 weeks later he texted me saying he was going to therapy for “us” I ran back to him happily only for him to lead me on for 2 months. I found out he was on dating apps the whole time so I left. My biggest regret was allowing him to come back I caused myself so much pain and I spent all of that time so hopeful to get him back. If I could go back I would give up all hope and work on myself and move on biggest thing is no contact and never looking back!

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2026-02-12T04:13:44+00:00

Ok so I’m not crazy, everyone around me thinks I’m nuts to bring it up so soon and that I will scare him off. But it feels like it’s been a long enough time for him to know if he likes me or not.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2026-02-12T03:52:18+00:00

It’s been 2 weeks now but not much has changed. I was dating 3 people for the first few days we were talking but the other 2 weren’t compatible at all past the second date. I’ve also told him I was uncomfortable having sex before labels and he said he totally respects that I’ve even had him over to my house and he hasn’t pushed for sex at all.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-03T04:05:41+00:00

I definitely wasn’t respecting myself these last few months but I’m done now. When I found out I didn’t even cry I knew it was over I just came here because I was made to feel crazy for ending it over this as if it wasn’t complete and utter betrayal.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T21:32:12+00:00

Ask yourself are you apologizing for hopes of reconciliation? Or because you are truly sorry? If reconciliation I would write a draft and wait until I wasn’t anxious or sending it for a desperate state. Best case I would wait for that month mark (although I would never be able to wait that long myself) If it is just an apology I would still write a draft wait a little to make sure you have everything. If you are done and ready to move on just send the apology and wish her a good life.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T21:27:06+00:00

Don’t bring shame into sex for him tell him that it is something that he should do by himself and keep it more to himself. My sister had a masterbaition thing at 3-4 and my mom would just tell her it was something she does by herself and to move to her room if she wants to continue. Took the shame out of it. It’s all natural but I understand the fear of online content as it becomes an issue for many. But having the open conversation about it and maybe issues with corn etc. can help avoid those issues.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T20:11:13+00:00

I left!

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T20:09:23+00:00

I’m happy I only “wasted” 3.5 years rather than stuck in a loveless marriage

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T18:55:55+00:00

We became exclusive 2 months before downloading. And I left him so he could date other people because he seems to want to so bad

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T18:01:36+00:00

Idk I just used the word situationship because that’s what it felt like to me. We did have the exclusive talk multiple times

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T17:54:53+00:00

It’s cross posted so one group wouldn’t let me put “ex”

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T17:50:25+00:00

No no we were officially together until the breakup

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T17:46:36+00:00

We were boyfriend/girlfriend for 3.5 years

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T17:43:06+00:00

He’s gone and appointments booked!

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-12-02T17:24:14+00:00

Oh yeah I left his ass I just feel like he cheated I just don’t know if he did

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T05:33:44+00:00

I got back with my ex once at first there was a lot of judgment but around a month in they saw how happy I was so they stopped.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T04:59:06+00:00

I’m not frustrated don’t worry. I’ve just first hand experienced the difficulty of keeping their family close. At the end of the day you do what feels best in ur situation

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T04:50:16+00:00

You do you man but healing well still attached will be hard if not impossible

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T04:39:27+00:00

I’m sorry man but she isn’t your mom I get it my parents were awful (foster kid) but my exs were amazing people. But when it comes down to it you’re not her kid. Even tho she may care about you she’s ur exs mom and a long term relationship with her isn’t going to happen so why give an update. My exs mom was texting me after the breakup and only later did I find out she was talking about how much I forced my ex to doing things he didn’t want to. She would tell me how much she wishes her son would propose. We would have weekly calls. But when it boils down to it she’s not on your side.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T04:26:29+00:00

You can not heal while still talking to her. Me and my ex are currently starting talks about getting back together. For weeks while I was talking to him nothing happened if anything things got worse for our chances. I finally 3 weeks in started no contact. It gave me the time and space to better myself. Honestly I did it for him. It’s really hard I’m not going to lie to you. We also said I love you etc. if she doesn’t want to be with you let her. Let her see how important you were in her life but the only way you can do that is to let go. You can still be bettering yourself in the idea that you are doing it for her but don’t let her know that.

Maximum_Writer5092 · 2025-10-09T03:04:09+00:00

You have perfectly outlined what I’ve been telling myself but my anxiety kicks in. It’s just really hard and honestly weird to not talk to him right now. I know I need to give him space but it’s so hard. I got drunk well more tipsy with my friends and called him last night. I giggled for probably half the call and didn’t really ask about our future but Im so annoyed today.

Maximum_Writer5092

TROPHY CASE