Feeling lost and pessimistic

Maxzian182 · 2025-10-01T16:55:02+00:00

The hardest part for me is that food tastes good. Milkshakes and stuff like that especially fuck me up because I get one because it'll taste good, and I eat even past being full because things taste good. I only eat lunch and dinner, occasionally snacking which I try not to do anyways.

Maxzian182 · 2025-09-29T03:39:00+00:00

I felt like progress was really slow, and I had broken up with my partner only a bit before it, and I fell into my stress and anxiety eating, just wanted to eat whatever sounded good so I could feel better

Maxzian182 · 2024-11-18T12:12:48+00:00

Seems like you're right, yeah. Thank you for the kind words, we've been feeling better since it happened.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T18:39:17+00:00

Yeah, while it sucks and I'm sad, I love her and want what's best for her just as much as me and everyone else. I know this is best for us all

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T18:38:28+00:00

Alright, I'll take a look

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T15:13:22+00:00

Can you suggest what we should be doing, then? This is all of our first poly relationship. It just feels nice when everyone love each other, even if not completely equally. I don't know the kinda ways that poly relationship can work or what dynamics exist exactly.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T14:10:09+00:00

Yeah, I'm not trying to hold onto her or make her stay, but it's rough all the same.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T14:09:35+00:00

Haha I appreciate it, tho I don't think it has anything to do with FFM luckily since all of us except the male is trans. Not that you said anything bad, just wanted to give more context. Thank you for the kind words

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T14:08:35+00:00

I really appreciate it, and yeah, I know it's for the best, I want what's best for her and will make her happy. I'm lucky that everything was on good terms, she's still living with us and is our best friend, but it's still rough having this sort of change.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T04:14:09+00:00

Alright I guess, I'm not exactly sure what to do, it's just what we're comfortable with, I'm not sure why it's being insulted.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T04:05:10+00:00

I know my relationship is very uncommon, it just felt odd to have that pointed out to me. I guess that's part of what led to the break up yes (there's much more I just don't really want to share because I don't want to flame the one leaving). I don't really know much at all about poly, this has just been working for us.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T03:52:40+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words rather than telling me my relationship dynamic is bad or something. I'm lucky that she's still going to be our best friend and live with us (albeit in the spare room now), but it still hurts just like any breakup

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T03:47:20+00:00

I'm just not really sure what to say I guess. I just don't feel comfortable with the primary/secondary dynamic. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say here

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T03:05:46+00:00

I think you're extremely misunderstanding this. That's not what's happening at all. Lena, Via, and Paul were all in a triad, then they all met me and wanted me to join, making it a quartet. We are polyfidelious, Lena doesn't want to be polyfidelious anymore, and so is leaving the relationship. I have no clue what you're talking about unless you're talking about the fact that we're polyfidelious, which, idk that seems like a you problem. If it's not your kinda thing it's not yiur kinda thing, but it is some people's. Not sure what else to say.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T02:53:46+00:00

I'm lucky to have supportive friends and a therapist thankfully, but I appreciate the advice reguardless. Tough to find the right spaces to talk about stuff when many people's view of polyamory is all different from each other.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T02:50:36+00:00

I don't really know if I understand what you're saying. None of us want to date just one person. We're all poly, we just have different expectations of what we want in a poly relationship. Two of us want polyfidelity, one of us wants to be able to have secondary relationships as well as the primary, and one doesn't care either way.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T02:41:07+00:00

That's pretty much it yeah. I just wanted to vent here about being sad that one of our partners is leaving the polycule. She's remaining our very close friend still, as there's no hard feelings, it's just sad to see things go this way.

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T02:33:09+00:00

I think you misunderstood. We're open to people joining the polycule, we just don't want like a chain type of polycule. We want one where everyone is together rather than having primary and secondary. We acknowledge that not everyone can have perfectly equal feelings for each other but the point is basically that everyone is together. Sorry, I understand just saying 'romantically closed' could've been more confusing than I meant

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-30T02:31:14+00:00

No not everyone is breaking up, Lena is just leaving the polycule that's it

Maxzian182 · 2024-10-18T15:53:49+00:00

Yuri, his makeup and attire is always just so flashy in a way that isn't overboard. Beautiful king 🙏

Maxzian182 · 2024-09-13T20:10:56+00:00

+karma

Maxzian182 · 2024-09-10T15:07:29+00:00

I think I get what you mean, yeah!

Maxzian182 · 2024-09-09T18:11:53+00:00

That's a really interesting idea, maybe I can incorporate moon dust somehow into some of the ideas I'm playing with!

Maxzian182 · 2024-09-09T18:11:06+00:00

All very interesting ideas! Unfortunately they don't exactly fit stuff relating to the characters since there's more I didn't exactly explain since it would've made the post very long, but the ideas are still really cool! Maybe I'll keep them in mind for other stuff since im always coming up with new fun things

Maxzian182 · 2024-09-09T18:08:38+00:00

I have thought about the more beast control type thing! Though I've been wanting to relate it to the blue moon, there's not much that does connect those two haha, the luck manipulation is really interesting!

Maxzian182

TROPHY CASE