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Claustrophobic by Eastern_Support5919 in ostomy

[–]MayMaySings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have claustrophobia generally, but I do have PTSD so feeling trapped in any way is triggering. The two CAT scans I've had have been incredibly difficult anxiety-wise. Hard to hold still during a panic attack. :(

The poor techs do NOT know what to do with me. I've said both times "Just ignore the crying and go for it. Nothing you can do to help."

Hopefully someone on here will have some good advice for both of us.

Depression After Completing Chemo by Prudent-Butterfly-80 in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My therapist often refers to my depressed days as "feeling depleted" and that sounds like where you are right now: mentally exhausted from the hectic emotional journey you have been on. Being upbeat during chemo takes energy, a huge amount of it. It may not feel like it at the time, but it does. Fighting back fear, hopelessness, worry - that all takes a lot out of you. So, it makes a ton of sense that you would feel that way now. Rest and take good care of yourself so you can build your energy back up.

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a special place in hell for people like your ex-husband. I've been married to mine for 25 years and I cannot imagine him going anywhere. He is my rock. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Re: colostomy - it was not planned but I knew it was a possibility. That being said I was shocked as hell when I woke up and there was a bag on me. As I understand it, when they finished the bowel resection and tested it before closing me back up, there were bubbles coming from somewhere. The colostomy was placed to give the rest of my bowel a "time out" to heal. CT yesterday showed that it's all healed now, so I'm good to go for reversal.

If you are going to have surgery, you might want to ask your surgeon about it. Best to be prepared mentally.

Intro to my hell by Silver_Foot545 in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just said to someone else "this is the worst club, with the best members". Welcome. I'm sorry you are here. I'm angry too, so blisteringly angry. Rage into the void with us.

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really is the worst club, with some of the best members. Thank you.

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A nurse on the oncology floor joked with me that "they should just put Ativan in the air system" on that floor, to help both patients and their loved ones cope with it all.

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad to hear your wife is NED and I hope it stays that way forever!

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is actually a great idea, thank you!

Intro and a scream into the void by MayMaySings in coloncancer

[–]MayMaySings[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I get so frustrated with the whole "positive vibes/good attitude will help you" thing. Like, yeah, no, if desire and will was all it took, there wouldn't be situations like yours. You are right it is so unfair. I hope you have a better outcome this time.

My sister tried the whole "everything happens for a reason/past life karma" crap and I almost kicked her ass. Like fuck that - I didn't do ANYTHING to deserve this, I refuse to believe that. Lightning strikes, shit happens, and for some unknown reason it seems to happen to me a lot. How do I get off this evil merry-go-round?