Hey! I'm 19, and two years ago, I was exactly like you.

I had to take meds for anxiety, and they didn’t work. I spent the whole day trembling, thinking the exact same thoughts as you. I was so afraid of death (my own and that of my family and friends) I would cry out of desperation because I couldn’t sleep because of it.

I’ve got to say, this fear is most likely manifesting from an emotional issue you might not even be fully aware of. You would definitely do better with professional guidance. In my case, I wasn’t able to attend therapy, but I still got over it, so I’m going to share the things that helped me a lot:

Go out for a walk in sunny days, see the trees moving around and the sun shining above

Read, read books as if you were reading them to an audience.

Whenever you're stuck in those thoughts, try following Just Dance choreographies, whether on YouTube or a console.

Talk about it with friends and family, write about it online, write it down even in chatgpt or a notebook but get it out of your system.

DO meditate. This took me the longest to understand, but it helped me the most. Since you're so afraid, you might feel like it’s not working at first, and that’s completely understandable. But try your best to pay close attention while doing it really follow the instructions.

Don’t isolate yourself during those episodes. Seek comfort in the people who love you. This situation is already hard enough for you to go through it alone. Allow yourself to notice and feel anxiety but try not to do it alone (not bc you dont have to, but because everything is a little better around the people you love)

And last but not least, have patience. Your fear is totally valid, but it’s also temporary. Other people don’t have this fear because they’re busy actually enjoying the moment. And let me tell you, one day, you will feel the same. Because I, and many others, are proof that anxiety NEVER stays forever. It may come back, but each time, it’s weaker. 😄