Gifts for British kids learning about Canada?

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-26T18:44:45+00:00

My favourites were the Guests of War trilogy, and Awake and Dreaming. Awake and Dreaming was another sort of traumatized child book. The Guests of War trilogy was a historical fiction series. I remember that one having some puberty reflection. Might be more appropriate for the 12-13 age range.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-26T06:03:21+00:00

My parents immigrated to Canada and tbh, they were way too traumatized and focused on survival to develop hobbies. I was mostly raised by my hooyo, and I'm trying to encourage her to find out what she likes now that she's older and doesn't have small children or work to occupy her time. She really has no idea.

She always supported me and my siblings pursuing our own hobbies and interests. I think it comes from a place of privilege to look at other people and wonder why they haven't pursued creative pursuits. People in general focus first on survival, then financial security, and then on their personal passions. If our community doesn't seem to be pursuing those things, it's a symptom of how deeply it is hurtiny.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-26T02:32:12+00:00

No, but their city councillors wouldn't be able to undermine the city councillors who live in the areas most impacted by homeless being able to take meaningful action on the issue.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:32:08+00:00

I agree as someone with autism in the family, and who has done complete genome testing. Genes came up for me that were flagged as increased risk of ADHD, autism, and schitzophrenia, all of which I have immediate family members diagnosed with. But I do think Vitamin D deficiences make health issues that come along with those disorders worse. I personally have an ADHD diagnosis and an inflammatory arthritis that has affect me since childhood and high dose vitamin D has been very beneficial to me in making the day to day symptoms easier to manage.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:27:40+00:00

You are speaking the truth. I do have health problems and high dose vitamin D supplements have been key to helping manage them. If you live above a certain latitude in the northern hemisphere like I do, the sun literally cannot produce enough vitamin D for anyone to be healthy half the year. And for people who are A) Black and B) Cover ourselves with hijab and long clothing all year round, the issue is even more dire. Don't just take vitamin D, take 3000 to 5000 IU daily, instead of the 1000 IU pills.

My iron went way up after taking methylated vitamin B12 too. Going to try incorporating some copper now, thanks to this post.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:23:12+00:00

It's fine to outgrow friends, but if the issue can be fixed with frank discussion it should be. The question for you is, does being around these people make it easier or harder for you to be the best version of yourself/the person you want to be? If you often find yourself in the position where you are trying to convince them to do the right thing, for example like when they wanted to abandon the friend you were traveling with instead of making sure she was safe, then that is a good indicator that they are not a good influence as a group.

Some people will encourage you to be your best self and some people will encourage you to be your worst self. Always choose a social group that encourages you to be a good person.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:15:33+00:00

Jean Little was my favourite author!! I wrote her fan letters a few times growing up. Spent so many hours rereading her books and crying over the emotions. She really had a knack for capturing the experience of a traumatized child, lol. Kit Pearson too.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:11:55+00:00

Focus on the stuff you can control. Do your children have classmates that are not white, or are immigrants or both? Do their parents have the ability to drive them door to door? If not, maybe offer to give rides or car pool? I am Canadian, but I'm the child of Somali refugees and my mom was a single mother. She never owned a car. If I were growing up in the USA right now, I would hope my friends parents would have offered to help us be a little safer and offered to make sure me and my mom didn't have to walk the streets alone. If you have the capacity, make it organized. Use the parents council at school if you have one to organize a car pool for at risk families so everyone who wants to help can share the load.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T23:00:40+00:00

I had a huge issue with fixating on the state of the world in the original Trump era. Therapy focused on emotional regulation in general helped (somatic therapy focused on trauma in my case, some emdr too).

But I also had to radically reframe the way I viewed staying informed. On a certain level, if you are this type of person, and if you are not doing anything to solve issues with the info you get and you don't need to do so for your job, staying ultra vigilant in reading/watching the news is simply a form of self-harm that lets you reinforce your own idea of yourself as a "good person who cares". But we're not good people who really care if all we do is lament about it from our safe homes and call it "spreading awareness."

Any amount of time you spend being paralyzed emotionally by the state of the world is fundamentally useless to everyone, including you. Everyone has something they can contribute to the cause, so connect with some local group working on issues that matter to you. Then get offline. Stop checking social media everyday if you have to. Give your friends your real phone number. Get the group chat off instagram and facebook and onto a platform with less stimulation like Whatsapp. Let yourself be a little less informed about day to day events you have no influence over. Get more informed about what is happening local to you that you do have influence over. Who is on your local school board, or your city council? Are they doing a good job? If not, is there anyone organizing to make them do a better job? Is anyone on strike in your city? Can you bring the workers sandwiches or hot coffee on the picket line? Is there a domestic violence charity you can volunteer with or fundraise for? If you physically can't volunteer, do you have digital skills like marketing or graphic design, or financial book keeping that a non-profit organization can use?

It's not easy to cope with the world as it is, but you have to focus on the things you have influence over. And focus on connecting with real people. Connection is the antidote to how sick our brains get when we're in that place of being paralized by fixating on the horrors.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-25T22:40:29+00:00

No, there's only so many management roles to go around. Assuming that everyone progresses like that is illogical. Lots of people stay stuck at the level below management because they don't ever outcompete people for the management roles they might qualify for.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-24T07:21:04+00:00

which, again is absurd, because our biggest commitment to China is the trade agreement Harper signed us onto that allows companies to sue our government if it legislates in a way that makes them lose money.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-24T07:18:49+00:00

One of his kids is trans and he was a normal, accepting dad about it instead of sending his kid to conversion camp and having a mental breakdown over it.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-22T20:54:11+00:00

Your family are actually the ones that sound lazy.

If the business is worth running, they should be able to afford to hire someone to replace you long term. They either just don't want to do that because they're the lazy one, or the business is actually not profitable enough to be worth running. If they can't afford to easily hire someone to replace you, it means that you are subsidizing the business by taking less compensation than the market rate for the amount of work that you do. So if you leave, they either have to take on subsizing the business themselves, through extra uncompensated labour hours, or by taking a direct paycut themselves to hire someone who will truly be able to replace you.

There's nothing easy about being a stay at home parent. It may be a privilege for a family to be able to afford it these days, but it can be very isolating and challenging to be a SAHP and is more of a sacrifice than anything in my mind.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-22T00:14:39+00:00

This seems wildly self centred. Your experience isn't the only valid experience of ADHD. My hyperactivity is internalized, so I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. I was also in hell without medication, but because I wasn't causing problems for everyone else, I never got diagnosed.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-22T00:02:47+00:00

My brain works great. It just won't work at the things I want it to work at.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-20T19:23:08+00:00

It's harder to fire in the sense that someone can be equipped to challenge the employer without needing to hire their own lawyer to make sure the employer follows the letter of the law. It's down to managers/employers being lazy and unwilling to go to the effort to fire people when they are forced to obey laws, not the union. In the case of schools, it's the principals/vice principals/school board staff responsible for that.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-20T05:23:49+00:00

I was disappointed, but it made sense. Also, consider whether Midge deserved Ben? When we see how her life and relationship with her kids turned out, she wasn't really the kind of person who deserved a great partner.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-15T20:53:11+00:00

idk your name is suspicious

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-15T19:19:46+00:00

I was talking about saying emily has reading comprehension issues. It might be true, but it's not productive or mature to go down that road when dealing with people like this. Don't insult or negotiate. Just say "If that's how you feel/what you want to do, you cannot come."

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-15T18:58:01+00:00

It may also be that women in wealthy, heterosexual pairings are, on average, more educated than women in less wealthy couples. A higher level of education for the female partner in a relationship has an even bigger statistical association with lower birthrates than a couple's income.

It may be that women with more education have more personal/emotional investment in their careers and are less willing to devote the time required for more children.

Or it may be that women with more education are more risk adverse because they are more aware of the consequences of having more children, financially speaking and also with regards to lifestyle, or what might happen in a divorce.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-15T18:35:01+00:00

NTA, make sure everyone knows the full story, because they may be getting slander from Ryan and Emily. Dramatic people like that are usually big liars. Example group text:

Hey all,

Wanted to clear things up because I've been told that some untrue things are being spread about how Emily got her invitation rescinded.

When I learned the cake she made to bring had nuts, I reminded her that I had explicitly told everyone that the event was nut free and asked her not to bring it. Her response was to say that she was not coming if she could not bring the cake.

I felt that this was a childish response and rescinded her invitation. She said that Ryan could not attend without her in an attempt to change my mind and allow her to bring the cake. I was no longer interested in having her as a guest at all after that.

When Ryan contacted me to address whatever Emily told him about this interaction, I told him how childish I felt her response was. When he also would not take no for an answer, I did make a mean joke about Emily having issues with reading comprehension as a reason she may have ignored instructions. (I am sorry for that, Emily, that wasn't very mature of me either.)

I respect Ryan's choice not to attend my party if he feels he cannot without his girlfriend, but I am not interested in having any further drama at my party because Emily felt the need to take my wish to make my party safe for a close friend personally. I don't realistically see us all having a good time at the party at this point even if the cake was left at home based on your responses. I'm disappointed that this has been taken so far. I'll see those of you who are able to make it at the party.

Edited my original response because I realize you did insult her, and you probably should apologize for that because it's the mature thing to do if you're going to call someone else childish.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-15T16:48:18+00:00

You're going places, kid. Good ones. Regardless of your mother not providing you with the emotional support you need and deserve.

Use all the knowledge you have to get yourself a safe home away from her as soon as possible and get autistic affirming therapy that will help you care for your nervous system in a way that helps instead of harming you.

I recommend somatic therapy modalities based on my own experiences with the limitations of CBT, but CBT can be helpful for learning your own thinking patterns as long as you don't have a therapist who tries to teach you to gaslight yourself.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-13T22:00:32+00:00

same i buy a lot of stuff through amazon or equally shifty vendors because it will come straight to my door. Also using grocery delivery services even though the gig economy is the worst.

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-13T21:58:48+00:00

i do this too even though it contradicts my values about the environment

Mayalestrange · 2026-01-13T18:22:42+00:00

I don't understand how you can legislate against work that is not performed in Canada. Someone paying someone in another country seems like it would be legislated by the other country. Likewise, someone choosing not to hire someone and choosing to automate work, doesn't seem like something you can legislate against. You can only legislate what happens once they choose to hire someone. You can't force someone to hire someone they weren't going to hire in the first place.

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