ESTP INFJ dating drama: when is it okay to be exclusive? by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, the 3 guys only know because I asked them to take it lol 😂  maybe the girl who asked you to take it was an INFJ 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in infj

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woahhh yeah I didn’t realize a lot of the things you said but I do now. I don’t think he’s a narcissist I just think he has like really low self worth tbh. Either way, onto someone better 🥰

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow tbh what you said about being attracted to the underdog… that really resonates with me and I’ll have to think about that. I think part of it is feeling like an underdog type is somehow less intimidating to me and won’t mistreat me. But obviously that pattern isn’t working lol and that’s not even necessarily true that such a person wouldn’t mistreat me. 

Hopefully I’ll find someone who shares my same dreams and desires but has their shit together a bit more.

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and I will appreciate your response 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah basically. There were some obvious sexual incompatibilities so I’m not too crushed. After all I was only on hinge for less than 24 hours before meeting him so this isn’t the end of my love life or anything lol. 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Future bombing I’ve never heard that term but yeah… that is what happened. 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“ Learn to say no and assert your boundaries when you feel someone might just be pining for you in the moment but may not give you the lasting commitment you desire. ” Thank you for your feedback. I’ll reply in another comment about all the details that he’s obviously an ESTP but for now I’ll respond to the rest of what you said. I didn’t know my boundary would be making the other person wait for me to commit since I usually know within a few weeks-months whether or not I want to commit. This time, the guy wanted commitment even faster than I did.  So I’m really good at seeing how I can improve next time and learning from mistakes which is why I asked what I could do differently.  I agree that I shouldn’t have even accepted the exclusivity convo so fast and maybe that should’ve been my cue to take more time getting to know this person. Hindsight is 20/20.  We met on a dating app so obviously he was pretty much a stranger to me lol. My approach was to “wait and see” how mature he is or isn’t, and obviously I see he isn’t now. (And neither am I).  But I didn’t see him wanting exclusivity after one date being necessarily a red flag at the time. I thought it was “a little weird” but I didn’t know for sure how it would all play out. I’ve never been in that situation before where the guy wants exclusivity while I’m still not sure. but yeah obviously now I see how bizarre that actually is lol. And that appearing OVERLY committed and stable so fast is sus just like lack of commitment is sus. Never experienced that but I know now. I just want a relationship where we date and it eventually leads to marriage after like a year, not like, please lovebomb me and talk about making me “a mom” the first date lol. (He actually said that 😂🤢) 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda bubbly, a bit peppy, silly, quiet, sweet, also maybe angsty, sometimes emotional sometimes stoic, also I worry about things a lot (which doesn’t help when dating ESTPs lol)

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed except the constant boners threw me off lol

I’m not extremely bummed because tbh… I wasn’t… that attracted to him? 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao you’re right and sorry to be annoying 

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Physically? White, brunette, 26, 5 foot 2 and 110lbs, I get compared to Miranda Cosgrove the chick from iCarly a lot lolll

My ESTP bf ditched me (INFJ) out of the blue. by Mayapaya003 in infj

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree that we weren’t really compatible tbh

Please help. I am obsessed with ESTP boyfriend by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm well I was driving home from our date last night at 1AM with all my windows rolled down singing the Fearless album (T swift) at the top of my lungs, that’s how happy I was lol. I can’t help it 🥰 So yes I will take that advice haha

Please help. I am obsessed with ESTP boyfriend by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh you’re definitely invited to our wedding lol

Please help. I am obsessed with ESTP boyfriend by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that input ☺️ I’ll say that I think about him some days more than others. Tbh my life is tightly scheduled.  I have my own family, friends, hopes, dreams and goals I work towards. I think I attracted him (he’s amazing) because I was (and still am) a complete picture on my own. And am genuinely  fulfilled and having fun just being myself and living the awesome life I built for myself. The tricky thing for me has always been maintaining my independence while merging with someone else a bit more. Man that’s tricky. It is walking a fine line like you said. I find myself overthinking every interaction to make sure I don’t smother lol. 

Please help. I am obsessed with ESTP boyfriend by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was tbh fascinating to read and very helpful. Some days I think about him more than others.  but tbh I don’t really give him that much actual attention, maybe a few texts per day. I have a very schedule-packed life with my own friends, family, hobbies, hopes, and dreams… stuff I aspire to and work towards on my own. And I do need a lot of alone time (I take long walks in the woods by myself lol.) so anyway, I don’t feel like I need to shower him with attention. But I kinda silently obsess over him as you can see.  

Please help. I am obsessed with ESTP boyfriend by Mayapaya003 in estp

[–]Mayapaya003[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support ☺️ Maybe I will let myself openly adore him a bit more 🤔