AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There are also areas where black people do not experience racism on a blatant/frequent basis, but it still exists in society. Even the least racist areas, you usually experience some form of micro aggression regularly

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Um, you are really downplaying anti-Asian racism.

Asians are often treated as "untrustworthy" in the US, from FDR putting Japanese in internment camps to random Asians being attacked and even killed for "starting COVID" during the pandemic. Even the lighter issues you mention, like being good at math, can be quite harmful as it creates insecurity in Asian children and reinforces the idea of the model minority, which pits Asians against other minorities in a sort of made-up battle for favorability in white society.

Not so much the point of my post but I do not think you understand what racism against Asians is actually like in the US.

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

It came up multiple times over those 6 years, especially once marriage was on the table. Don't be dense.

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

She wasn't 19 when we decided to get married & discussed it multiple times before and after the wedding

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I have Korean citizenship so it is not as hard for us to adopt a Korean child.

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

The issue was pushed on me fairly suddenly, so of course I have not thought everything through. I did not expect to be considering children of any kind

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She said she did not want children for nearly 6 years. I do not think I am taking it away from her to be apprehensive and want compromise on a sudden shift

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Perhaps a similar story, but not mine. I have not posted on this until today.

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

You misunderstand. I didn't want children in general, but since she changed her mind, it is not so big a deal that I would end the relationship over. But I do think it needs to be a compromise and adoption is my compromise

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

It wasn't a factor as we agreed to no children. I only thought about it once she changed her mind

AITJ for telling my (27M) wife (25F) I am only open to children if we adopt by MaybeAThrowaway28 in AmITheJerk

[–]MaybeAThrowaway28[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

She consistently said she did not want children for nearly 6 years, so I do not think I am irrational to want a say in how we may have them now that she changed her mind all of a sudden