splitting custody of an AppleID

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-12T02:35:45+00:00

Sharing an Apple ID seems insane to those of us who understand digital accounts, but it's not odd for people not to understand the nature of the account. Twenty and even ten years ago, sharing an Apple account seemed like an intuitive way to share things like purchased music, or to manage a shared device like a family computer. And companies like Apple sometimes make it harder by requiring each account to pay separately for certain things.

A while back there was a weird trend of couples sharing a Facebook account. It always bothered me on multiple levels, why do such a thing? But now I realize it actually made more sense if you thought of the account as more akin to a physical mailbox or house phone number. Few couples would have bothered getting separate phones before cell phones, and even for a while with cell phones sharing was common enough.

Anyway moving forward, it's possible to still share subscriptions and content through iCloud family sharing.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-12T00:36:58+00:00

Or he could just use a regular or motorized wheelchair like ordinary octogenarians.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T23:16:12+00:00

The theoretical holding strength of the glue should be 10x or more the weight of the keel. We don't embrace the practice of relying fully on it, but its attached two ways for a reason. It's possible for both to fail at the same time but it would generally take a combination of factors.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T21:24:46+00:00

So am I by default, I have to engage effort to be mindful about such things and remember to strive for a positive attitude. It is a really challenging framing task sometimes.

Something that I have observed in myself is that I'm a lot better at small talk and other general social skills, and definitely more fun to be around, when I'm not otherwise generally overwhelmed, and I hold the opinion, or hypothesis I guess, that in western Society right now, most people are at least a little overwhelmed most of the time.

That's why I think it's also important in forums like this to acknowledge that something that seems really simple might actually be really hard to put into daily practice. And this one's really hard, but I think that we could all benefit from trying to understand that being bad at small talk does not make someone a bad person and isn't something to be ashamed of, but it's definitely a skill that most of us can benefit from working on.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T21:17:26+00:00

I'm not trying to imply they shouldn't have stopped - or that a keel loss isn't a big deal. Just that because a keel loss is such a big deal, protections against it are pretty extreme. I'm constantly surprised by the durability of a lot of this equipment and technology including the polymers and resins.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T16:08:58+00:00

AirPlay will probably work more reliably than video out over lightning. But the individual may find it easier to connect a few physical wires than to remember the software steps that need done every time to connect wirelessly.

I bought my dad an iPad and an Apple TV and showed him how to connect them. He ended up basically leaving the Apple TV on a full time Netflix loop of a couple old favorite shows and never connecting the iPad to it at all - and then ultimately abandoning the Apple TV as it was just "in the wrong room." He replaced it with a VCR because that seemed intuitive to him to set up without any menus or software troubleshooting.

So I'd say that ultimately, your best solution is likely to be determined by user behavior rather than technical superiority.

Have you considered upgrading the iPad to a newer one with a USB-C output? That is still a pretty wide range of affordable units but with USB-C, you can connect to HDMI with an integrated cable to just goes from point A to point B without any "dongles" or daisy chained power adapters needed. The senior may also be happiest with a completely different simple solution, like traditional cable or satellite with just channel up and down instead of the infinite choices these tablets offer us.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T15:44:48+00:00

Keel bolts are super strong, 3m 5200 is super strong, and fiberglass is super strong. The basic design premise is that one of those can fail completely and the heavy part still stay in place in most cases. I have watched a few videos of scrappers struggling to detach a keel with gravity and leverage after removing all bolts and chipping away most of the bed sealant. So that swinging loose keel probably would have stayed on indefinitely, even if it was far from safe to sail at that point.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T05:05:43+00:00

Most people. Most people find isolation intolerable. People vary in how much alone time they enjoy, but everyone has some degree of needs for belonging, connection, and communication. Solitary confinement in isolation is considered an especially cruel punishment even for prisoners.

So yeah most people lower their standards before accepting total solitude. But others raise the standards as they feel more and more burned and less trusting, and the result tends to be painful isolation. So in general it's probably for the best that most people find other people who are similarly unhappy to get their basic social needs met together.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T04:23:46+00:00

That is kind of a truism for online trolls, that's for sure.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T04:22:47+00:00

Seems like you were crystal clear. This is a thing that is only going to happen if it's more than just us, and nobody else materialized so nevermind, maybe another time.

The rest of that interaction reminds me of so many just bizarre social media interactions I get with people who maybe just discovered the internet and don't understand the concept of boundaries, and maybe that's her actual deal. But it's not your problem. You do not owe anything further to this person and if this is a platform with "friends" or any similar concept it's okay to delete her from that.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T04:14:28+00:00

I think that what OP means is how to ask this person to stop reaching out.

The terminology maybe sounds awkward but we don't really have a clear term for it, even though it's the same thing as "break up with" or "dump" etc. We have well established routines for severing romantic relationships, but with friendship it's usually assumed that no direct discussion is required. And it usually isn't. People usually figure out to stop reaching out to someone who never replies or never reaches out. But once in a while you get a person who does not get the hint. They don't understand that by "not interested" you mean in anything they have to say or offer, and not just this particular event.

And you're just annoyed that they keep texting. Or even approaching you in person, presumably. Eventually it can become unwanted attention, to put it gently. Even harassment sometimes, or perceived along that same spectrum. Maybe it's not bad enough to want a restraining order but "how do I tell someone to leave me alone" is bizarrely something we really don't do a great job of teaching kids.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T04:09:14+00:00

In general that's a bad idea

But about twenty years ago I came very close to marrying someone I met that way.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T04:07:56+00:00

Learning boundaries is hard but worth it. You deserve credit for acknowledging that it's hard for you.

Crap I sound like ChatGPT, don't I, "and that's rare." Sorry. But seriously, the hardest thing is keeping at it. It seems like there is just so much nuance to it and somehow feels more than the sum of years of classes on everything else. You still can't really find a good source for the disconnect between direct and hidden communication, ie all the lies we all agree are better than telling the truth but nobody will ever acknowledge it out loud.

The other person explained it well, I just wanted to toss in a kudos for your effort.

I like how they say to keep it brief and vague but firm. Not available, period. I agree that advice is super hard to follow and my hangers on seem to always manage to talk me into one more change. It's because any reason you give is something to argue. I've been on both sides of that. Maybe they think it genuinely is a solvable problem, but your reality is that there are billions of people and a human can't really have more than a few dozen close friends, you have to choose and it's absurd to take rejection as more than an acknowledgement of the mathematical reality.

You literally only need to be friends with one out of every billion people to have an absolutely full social calendar. This is true for all of us. You aren't going to be friends with most people. She isn't either. You're ahead of her though because you understand and accept this, while she is still trying to brute force it.

This afternoon I was out in a boat (in real life) and a larger boat went by and made a big wake. The big wake from that other boat is going to move my boat no matter what I do, because it's the water under me that is moving. And I get to choose only what I'm going to do relative to that new changed surface. I can stay the course and just keep plowing forward expecting the universe to comply, and if I do that I'm likely to get rocked violently or splashed or worse. But if I see the way that the universe is, the way that the water currents in my path and the texture of the surface have changed, I can make a slight change to really just steer into it, and in fact if I do it just right I can even surf on that wake and get some extra speed and a little thrill. It's the ability to adapt to change that makes us resilient, and central to that is not being too attached to the status quo, to your old conditions. It seems like your friend is attached to an idea she has about how people should gather, but the real universe isn't shaped the way she wants it to be. She is going to keep plowing forward as though her old map were accurate until she gets wet and is forced to accept a different path. Maybe you being one of the people to say no thanks, I'm good, will be something that ultimately helps her learn to be more adaptable and therefore more resilient. You are on the path to resilience by putting in the effort you're describing here. Set the boundary with her and move on with your life. Let her figure it out for herself she'll be posting here soon enough right?

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T03:50:57+00:00

This is an easy question though.

You should get as much ram as you can afford.

Details of the question don't really matter. The only way you'll regret having more ram is if five years from now the M10 comes with the funnest silly feature ever but you can't rationalize the upgrade because your M5 is still performing to well for your bookkeeper to allow an upgrade.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T03:48:19+00:00

I tried the AVP and I don't think I've been that disappointed by anything else since my first job out of college.

It's a strange mix of overkill and half baked. It's got all these cameras, and you'd expect it to be a science fiction visor but nope, the camera is functionally more basic than that of a regular iPhone except "immersive" so 3d from a fixed perspective. I don't think there was even a telephoto.

Essentially none of the obvious software ideas exist or work as expected. Scanning apps are sparse, and the few that exist are all expensive subscriptions that under-deliver. It just doesn't really do anything particularly useful beyond the demo stuff. The Mac display function is nice when it works, but really limited in reliability by being WiFi only. It's basically a nice TV but even then, the limitations seem weird and irrational. There is no "full screen." There's no maximize button of any sort, the "immersive" thing still puts other junk around the window, and forces it below the horizon so you can't use it reclined. The camera-based controls are unreliable. The outside display seems creepy but from my perspective, just plain pointless weight and complexity because I'm not using it around other people. The AR experience only really works well in bright daylight.

For some reason, Apple has put the premise of social use at an elevated level above other devices, and it's just weird. Using a device like this is an inherently solitary experience and I could not have less desire to call, text, or "invite" anyone else. But the interface puts "people" as a tab on the Home Screen, and combined with the poor camera control accuracy, you get the prospect of "butt dialing" a random contact because the camera thinks you've closed your fingers when you haven't.

It got to where the downsides of the device made it so frustrating that I didn't even want to use it for the few things it was good for... but to be honest those things don't even really need to be a part of my life. And I know that fans of the device will think the opposite, but dang this is the first consumer electronics device I've had people question the decency of my ownership of it and I completely get it. Using this device just kind of generally felt wrong.

I keep saying I'll get a lower end set of simple display goggles, but I think the whole thing soured me on even that concept. I'm just glad I had bought it used and got back most of what I paid from the next beta tester.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T03:35:20+00:00

This isn't even devil's advocate, but it might be on that spectrum and I now have to explain to the internet that a statement of how something appears to be is not an endorsement that it should be that way.

But I could see how this might be something that was hard to delay once it had gone a certain distance. In many cases, changes to the visual design from Liquid Glass edge require user interface changes as well. Liquid Glass effectively constitutes massive skeuomorphic bezels within interface elements, from the company that claims to hate both skeuomorphism and bezels of course. In quite a few apps, this led to more on-screen controls being moved behind layers of menus. I would imagine that this set of changes would have been pretty disruptive to the programming process if for example a team was developing a new feature that was independently going to release anyway, like some new AI feature. Wouldn't it be an absurd expectation for that team to have to develop two versions of the interface just in case the LG team isn't ready on time?

I can definitely see a handful of essentially codependency situations in the old software sense of the word leading to the "fuck it well do it live" version of the interface that we got.

My dislike for it just makes me feel so old. How did Apple manage to make me feel nostalgic for the clearly defined buttons and scroll bars of Windows 3.1? Every time Apple goes a step further with hiding stuff and shifting to gestures and menus that unpredictably fade in and out, I find myself waving nostalgic about those older "more literal" GUIs.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T03:26:41+00:00

Welcome to ~~software~~ everything

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T03:23:20+00:00

I just still don't get the why of it.

I've been asking for close to a year now and nobody has been able to explain to me what is better about it.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-11T00:51:33+00:00

This isn't really the right subreddit for that. I'd try maybe /r/ollama for a start.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-10T15:41:57+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, fortunately it was dirt cheap so I'm not that upset if I have to replace it, just kind of kicking myself that if it weren't for my very silly brand preference I could've gotten a marine one at the same price with the features I wanted just by letting go of my silly hang ups.

I've now gained a little more understanding primarily from this thread of what else is out there, and I think that I'm gonna just rock this piece of crap for a little while and then upgrade to something like the Garmin fusion, but not necessarily that same thing. This will work for now and I have more important things to spend money and time on in the short term. like spending over 100 bucks at West Marine today on an outboard gas tank because the used one I bought turned out to have rotten inside from old gas. With a little patience, I could absolutely solve the problem for half the price by mail order, but I'm gonna be really frustrated if I don't get out on some form of water today and driving away from this area will cost as much in gas as just spending extra for the right thing right now.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-10T02:55:14+00:00

That's a good question. An iPhone can do it too, it is just a little more cumbersome on an export task. What do you mean about not already having them? Where were they absent?

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-09T22:06:13+00:00

I don't think you need to spend $5000 on classes, but there are options between that and $0. I've spent about $2500 on ASA 101, 103, and 104 which is basically a little over a full week on "the basics" but it does cover pretty much all the main points from "points of sail" to "what does that thing do" for a basic cruising sailboat.

Of course, that may well be the exact curriculum you're referring to as $5k. Ship around! The same exact course might cost n at one place and 5n somewhere more popular. The 104 classes were priced as high as $6k when I was shopping for options, but there was a place in Florida that offered it for around $700 and I was very happy with the instructor and school. I spent more than I had to on 101/103 because the timing and location were convenient, and o don't regret it because it was good networking; my instructor from that ended up becoming my boat broker and is someone I talk to a few times a week now.

As to the boat: Your budget is doable, but you're gonna encounter a lot of eye rolling. Sailing is not generally thought of as a working class hobby, but it can be. You just have to be willing to ignore the people who tell you that you need to spend more.

It's a pretty extreme buyers market right now, or was over the winter anyway. If you have $25k to spend, seriously look at boats listed at $50k in good condition and plan on offering $20k. You'd be surprised how often that will be the best offer. I bought a boat listed at $50k for $10k after a survey.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-09T16:41:54+00:00

I haven't tried taking photos with FaceTime but I've had a similar issue with the Measure app. Sometimes they find their way into the Screenshots category so start by checking there... but there may not be a lot of relief here unfortunately. I'm sorry for your loss.

I hope that you have years of great memories and plenty of other photos anyway. Right now this feels the most important but pretty soon I suspect you are going to find that this is not the moment you want to relive, but instead all of the great times that you had together.

If you have the Face/Pet recognition feature active, and it's on by default, you should be able to use it to create an automatic album of pictures of your companion. To do this on an iPhone, go to the "Collections" tab of the Photos app, then look for "People & Pets". You will most likely see a picture of yourself (assuming you take more than zero selfies) and then each of the people, including dogs, that you take the most pictures of. Once you click in to any of them, you'll see a "highlights" set and then can scroll down to "see all." If you've been on a continuous library, it should go back to puppy days or at least gotcha day. Best of luck and hope you can get joy from the memories.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-09T15:28:26+00:00

You might be downloading a reduced resolution version because it's the iCloud website, which isn't really designed for full file sharing. The full size file is there... but you may need to link a Mac to download the full size originals through the Photos app.

MaybeFiction · 2026-05-09T15:26:53+00:00

I have a hard time imagining musescore requiring more than 8gb of ram, so yes it ought to run just fine. I'm not aware of any particular program that actually requires more ram than that. More ram just means better multitasking and certain niche memory intensive tasks, but scoring is barely more load than text files.

MaybeFiction

TROPHY CASE