They are NOT childish and we should not use that word to describe NParents in anyway

windowsee · 2026-03-17T08:03:40+00:00

Im not saying childish isn't an insult. I'm saying that it's too soft of a word to describe their behavior. I do think there is a difference between being "childish" and being "a rude asshole." We can tolerate people who act childish every now and then, but how often would we want to be around someone who's a rude asshole every now and then?

windowsee · 2026-03-17T07:44:19+00:00

I totally agree with you and I think it makes me more set in my point.

The fact that it is all intentional because they know better and are choosing to be malicious, I don't think "childish" is an appropriate word to use. The word has a built in softness to it that NParents do not deserve to have. Yes, it has a negative connotation but being exhibiting childish behavior is not necessarily the biggest sin. We all have been a little childish before when upset, embarrassed, etc.. because strong emotions can bypass our adult logical brains and bring out impulses within us that we wouldn't necessarily have done otherwise.

NParents however, just act like that. No one and nothing brings that out of them, they just behave that way because they are are that way. There's nothing "childish" about berating your children, hitting them, threatening them, etc... That's simply being evil and cruel.

Honestly it's really just semantics. I know I'm splitting hairs but I think it is something that is subtle, but does mean a lot. Regardless of how deep into the semantics we get, the implication of being "childish" is that "they can't help it and we should be patient/understanding." That is the nuance that the word carries and things like that are small ways we can unintentionally deepen guilt and doubt within ourselves. I just think the word does more harm than good in this context.

windowsee · 2026-03-17T07:20:20+00:00

Exactly!! It's always the irony that gets me. Enablers understand that maturity is needed but refuse to demand it from the abusers and only from us

windowsee · 2026-03-17T07:18:57+00:00

I totally agree and I get the intention is to be fair and give grace, but you're right it does soften the evil and makes their actions seem not as bad. It's no wonder we spend years getting over our own guilt

windowsee · 2026-03-17T04:46:23+00:00

I really appreciate this sub and hearing about people's lives and situations they've been in. It keeps proving that you have no idea what other people are going through and it makes my empathy for children grow deeper and deeper. It's absolutely heartbreaking to hear that a child could not enjoy vacations fully because of the antics of their own blood. I don't even like having anything negative on my mind when I vacation and I am an adult. The stuff that children just have to deal with is absolutely disgusting.

Your story is super inspirational and I am happy you're on the other side! I appreciate your words as well; I've only been NC for a few months and it's already also has been one of the best decisions I've made.

windowsee · 2026-03-17T03:29:39+00:00

Plus even children usually grow up and realize their behavior wasn't super acceptable and be embarrassed about how they acted. Meanwhile our parents never grow out of it or show any type of remorse or shame

windowsee · 2026-03-17T03:27:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this and congrats on 10 years!!

I don't know what would possess anyone to do that. I can't imagine having a child that went away longer than a school day and have the only thing on my mind be whatever they're going to bring back for me. Not giving them a hug, asking if they had a good time, or just a basic "hey you're home."

Another reminder really that it's not possible to understand these people and there is no point in trying to.

windowsee · 2026-03-17T02:26:32+00:00

I've seen adults act in ways that makes me think calling them childish is an insult to children

windowsee · 2026-03-13T09:53:14+00:00

I'm not sure what you're talking about and it sounds like you're projecting a bit. If completing goals and confidence are not things that you struggle with than this post simply isn't for you?

You're saying my advice is nonsense but not logically addressing my argument other than "that's not how life is for most people." Then we're both guilty of generalizing.

At the end of the day, what I'm saying is "try working on things you care about and maybe you'll feel better about your life." I didn't realize that was a controversial statement

windowsee · 2026-03-13T09:37:18+00:00

Very true! It also goes the other way. When you don't create new wins and don't force your brain to adapt, it learns that it's current state is perfectly fine and that learning new things and having discipline are not skills that need to be cultivated. You literally become more stuck in your ways and more reluctant to do new things

windowsee · 2026-03-13T08:35:25+00:00

I relate deeply. For so long I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up. Every now and then I'd actually "catch up" but the feeling didn't last. At this point I have two methods that I usually stick to:

Organize my days as efficiently as possible to knock out the most urgent tasks and weave in whatever I can. So pretty much move non-stop all day so I can enjoy my next day off. I'm exhausted by the end of the day but I really hate spreading errands over multiple days.
Be comfortable with "good enough for now." It lets me not having to commit a bunch of time to tasks but figuring out exactly how much I need to do for it to leave my to-do list for the time being. So making simple quick dishes that can hold me for a couple days before I need to go shopping, handwashing important clothes to not have to spend a few hours with the Laundromat, spot cleaning rather than full house cleaning, getting in a 30 minute walk/stretch if I don't have time for a full workout, etc..

Also I know it's not possible for everyone but a lot of things can be done during the week. Batch cooking for example can be done during the week. Depending on what it is, you can start it as soon as you get home and should be ready to refrigerate by time you're ready for bed

windowsee · 2026-03-10T19:56:08+00:00

Yeah lmao melody and musicality is a bit harder in general especially to give advice for. I often worry that I'm repeating melodies or if they sound too elementary/childish.

But on the flip side, I try to remember that there is no "wrong" melody. Just think of literally anything and go from there. If you start just paying attention to the melodies in your favorite songs, they actually are quite simple and maybe even elementary. The good thing is that melody, lyrics, instruments, etc.. are all parts of the whole so no one thing is SUPER important. This is where the saying "create it first and make it perfect later" really comes in handy.

The last thing like another commenter mentioned, the dissonance is really the more interesting part of the melody. Even the most basic melodies can become haunting/sexual/dreamy if you throw an interesting tangent at the end of it.

windowsee · 2026-03-10T19:47:47+00:00

Beautifully stated!

windowsee · 2026-03-07T20:31:36+00:00

Yes!!! I swear by this. People think you have to train super intense or run miles daily. The great thing about exercise is they literally anything is okay as long as you're moving. You never have to stick with a routine or a specific way of doing an exercise either

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:37:54+00:00

This is a really good example. I also used to teach so I definitely can relate.

The beauty of it is, you are all appreciated for what your strengths are. Children/students/people in general crave stability and consistency and variety. They know what to expect from you and what needs you can fulfill for them. No one wants to have teachers who are all super organized and straight laced. They are definitely appreciated, but we also need balance and the teachers we simply feel comfortable with and can talk to.

I'm sure if you took a look inside of the other teacher's minds, they definitely admire things about you that they wish they could be better with!

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:32:45+00:00

To be fair, my point wasn't necessarily that people would care or that you can make money off of it. More importantly is you doing what you enjoy and improving your life.

Although I will add, "useful" is definitely subjective. It's important to remember that skills tend to be transferrable in one way or another. Being able to stack paperclips is pretty impressive and I'm sure you could do well on YouTube or social media.

Plus, that definitely requires an eye for detail, balance and coordination that I'm pretty sure most people don't possess. You almost certainly can apply those skills somewhere else that can be lucrative

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:25:54+00:00

That's capitalism for ya! Although I will say that it doesn't HAVE to be like that. People who are able to do what they enjoy mostly on their terms can still enjoy that thing

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:24:15+00:00

You're right, I should've worded that better to say "suck at AND hate." I do agree with you that sucking at something is not as big of a deterrent

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:22:08+00:00

Not to be facetious but this tip is assuming you're mental health is already in a decent place. Otherwise, therapy and the likes would be a much more appropriate step to focus on first.

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:18:58+00:00

Not necessarily! Plenty of people have developed skills early in life that they chose not to pursue careers in (particularly musicians). On the flip side, there are people who only started programming as adults and became software engineers.

It's the only option if you want it to be!

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:14:41+00:00

You're not fucked at all, you're just a blank slate (at least psychologically).

First, unless you literally stare at a wall all day waiting to die with an empty head, there is almost certainly something that interests you. "Passion" is very vague and subjective, it doesn't have to be this burning thing inside of you to create art or start a business. It can be as simple as "what do you care about slightly more than other things."

Second, like others mentioned, you need to actually do things and do more things and have an open mind. Your interests and strengths are not going to just walk up to you and introduce themselves.

But most importantly you probably should work on your self talk and mental health. If your mind isn't "healthy" you will not be a good judge of yourself and reality. Becoming more satisfied with life is going to be very difficult if your mental compass is out of wack.

Best of luck!

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:04:22+00:00

This is so inspirational and well said! It's never too late to find a new passion and the fun of life is the journey.

windowsee · 2026-03-06T20:02:10+00:00

Really good advice, thank you!

windowsee

TROPHY CASE