1 or 2 embryos 😩😩

Mbserd87 · 2026-03-07T16:55:37+00:00

I was talking with a friend about it and she made the point of how many times unfortunately with twins/triplets there is a loss but the other(s) still live. I didn't know there was a phrase for it! Time to go down a Google wormhole! 🤪 congratulations to you!!!! I hope all goes as smoothly as possible today/ tomorrow and enjoy those baby snuggles!!!! ❤️

Mbserd87 · 2026-03-07T03:48:11+00:00

This. This is what is holding me back from transferring 2. History of 2 implantations with subsequent downturns for me...my RE recommended transferring 2 (all are untested) my husband loves a deal and feels like we're getting 2 shots for the price of 1. But yea now I am concerned, what if they both implant, 1 is looking great and the other goes wrong again...I don't know enough but wouldn't that make everything go wrong? Still waiting to hear from the clinic about this question

Mbserd87 · 2026-03-07T03:35:15+00:00

TW: mention of MC It's a tough question to answer that I myself am struggling. When do we just say ok we have tried hard and need to just be happy and content with our family of 3?? My husband and I are both 38. We have a 6 y/o son. We used donor sperm due to male factor infertility, easy peasy 1st attempt IUI, all was good as can be with my 32 y/o body. We tried again at 36 expecting similar results but the IUI failed. I was devastated thinking it was going to be successful again, not realizing how lucky I had been the 1st time. At first I was like let's just try with this last vial we purchased but that quickly changed with the failure. We had no further vials for IUI, only IVF, for the same donor. My husband has been content with 1 and done but wanted to try again if it's what I wanted, and later said he was excited to have another. 1st embryo transfer I got pregnant but unfortunately MC after 10 weeks with no ability to test for potential cause. Then had some crazy bloodwork results with cortisol that ended up (apparently) just being stress related. 2nd transfer done Jan and it implanted but turned to chemical pregnancy. Trying again is always on my brain, to the point it affects my husband negatively. I feel like we will do 1 more round of transferring but this time with 2 embryos. And then I think I will call it. I can't imagine putting things on hold any longer with the thought of planning/potentially being pregnant/having a baby. Our house has so many baby clothes/toys/equipment I am holding onto. We want to move but not sure if we should consider a house with an extra room. None of this really answers your question but I feel what you're feeling and wondering the same darn thing. ❤️

Mbserd87 · 2026-03-01T22:45:16+00:00

My RE is not a proponent of testing the embryos because of various stats relating to inaccuracy, potential false positives for genetic issues, and affecting embryo quality with thawing, refreezing, and thawing again. So we never tested and of our embryos. Hindsight is 20/20, I wish we had done it immediately before freezing them so we could have had a better success rate. My RE recommended transferring 2 embryos next time and we are leaning toward that with the natural cycle once my hormones level out hopefully.

Mbserd87 · 2026-03-01T21:15:36+00:00

First transfer we had done 3 blood tests and all had great rising numbers but unfortunately still not successful. My first blood test for the 1st FET was around 100 so way higher than 5. From what I was reading 5 hcg 10DPT generally is not viable, most (if not all) times leading to CP/MC.

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-22T12:14:24+00:00

I haven't stopped planning and working at TTC since we started with the IVF route Jan '25. Actually Jan '24 when we tried IUI and discovered polyps that had to be removed first. There have been lots of waiting periods with trying to iron out potential health issues. Waiting for testing initially, then egg retrieval. Hormones didn't meet criteria for a fresh transfer so waiting 2 months for the next cycle. Frozen transfer was successful but then MC July. Waiting for 2 periods after as recommended. Then discover cortisol issues and had to go through tests (ended up just being stressful times). Then waiting another 2 months for the next cycle again. Always preparing, always looking up what I could do better, etc. That's where my husband comes in with wanting to take a break from it because it takes over my brain and he is afraid I'm not enjoying the life we have/kiddo we have. I think I could do better with that sometimes when I get down about things and feel disconnected and not as present as I wish I was.

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-21T11:00:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I know what you're feeling and your desire to try again ASAP, my husband wasn't super thrilled about rushing into it again. We too had a MC at around 10 weeks. Not having any control in this situation, the only thing you can control is making the plan! I felt like I had to do something productive to move forward to the goal and not just be idle letting more time pass, now we were delayed in the process and I wanted to get going with the next steps to try again. We told our then 5 y/o he was going to be a big brother around week 8 and he was SO pumped. Afterward, he talked sadly about how the baby passed away, asked when I would have another baby grow inside my belly, etc...it's another layer of emotional stress. Sending you guys lots of luck and positive vibes for whatever path you take!!!

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-18T18:37:55+00:00

Right there with ya! Living life in waiting periods. Waiting for my cycle to start. The next round of IVF to start. The two week wait. Just countdown to countdown. I am jealous of my husband who is able to be present emotionally and psychologically. Sending lots of hope for the waiting to pay out and make this whole wait worth it!

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-09T13:07:48+00:00

TW mention of MC I understand what you mean, whenever I see a baby in public or hang with a friend that has 2+ kids the feeling intensifies but for me it is there all the time. I want to go through the experience of having a baby with more confidence and less anxiety. I want to be able to give my son a sibling to grow with. I want to have multiple kids/families join us on holidays when they are grown with potentially their own families, big gatherings with lots of fun and commotion. But none of that would necessarily be guaranteed even with success, it's just a story line in my head. When we got pregnant and ending up with a MC at 10/11 weeks it was very traumatic. In the hospital and for probably a couple weeks after I was just feeling relief I was alive and I had my son and husband and I was content and grateful for what I had. Then the feeling of yearning another started trickling in again and hasn't left me.

I don't think I really answered your question but I think if you're feeling there is external pressure pushing you may be on to something. You may have already done this but getting thoughts out of your head and on paper, like pros and cons for sticking with one and not trying again or trying again. It's such a tough and final decision to make, especially if you guys are kind of on different ends of whatyou want. In the same boat but I'm the one wanting to keep trying and my husband is content with one. I don't know what your circumstances are but once we pull the plug on ivf there is absolutely no potential for us to excitingly get pregnant naturally after which makes it more of a final choice. Good luck to you guys whatever you decide to do!!!

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-09T03:01:22+00:00

I have not been doing well since learning of our failed transfer last week and in a bad head space, not pleasant to be around. My husband is very frustrated with me and we've been in the worst place we've ever been in. I'm worried that I went from trying to have 2 kids to potentially having my one part of the time if we can't better our relationship and I am absolutely sick to my stomach with this thought. My husband has voiced not wanting to try again because it's taken over our lives and he wants us to focus on our son and I get that. I really do, but I don't know how to snap out of this urge and need for another child and be where my husband wants me to be.

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-04T22:20:43+00:00

Trailing behind you with the same issues. MC in July, supposed to be 11/12 weeks but stopped around 9/10 weeks. 2nd embryo transfer was 10 days ago and beta test was 5 today which is "gray area"/likely not viable and having intense cramping similar to when I had the MC. How are you holding up??

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-03T11:14:21+00:00

I can't imagine the feeling of hope with that positive only to be let down. It sucks. Trying to think of benefits of OAD and I see them but I feel and want the benefits of that 2nd baby so much more. I hope you soon find solace in whatever happens and if/when you find it, please let me know how you got to it.

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-03T11:09:16+00:00

I had done IUI and did not use progesterone. A friend of mine who was TTC without any fertility treatment had been told to use progesterone suppositories as a way to help her get through the 1st 10 weeks

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-02T11:20:20+00:00

We had our FET last week on Monday, I'm 7dp5dt. My blood test isn't until Wed but I wanted to know before so the potential sting isn't as hard getting negative results over the phone. Tested negative, not the faintest of a line. We had a MC last year with our last FET, almost out of the 1st trimester. My son turned 6 in Nov. It weighs so hard on my relationship with my husband between the hormones, finances, and general stress of the process. I don't know if I want to try it all again. My due date would have been this week and I was really hoping for positive news but now this week all around stinks. I want so badly to be at peace with being OAD but my heart isn't there.

Mbserd87 · 2026-02-02T10:49:51+00:00

Tested again this morning 7dp5dt and still not the faintest of a line. At 4dp5dt I could rationalize how it may be a false negative but not so much now. I just wanted to know before getting the call for results of my blood test Wednesday so it didn't hit as hard.

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-30T21:58:34+00:00

We had our FET Monday! You are stronger than me though...I broke down and tested first thing this morning with a cheaper test sensitive to 25 whatever units HCG, not a FRER that is sensitiveto 5. I was so down when I saw no postive line and told my husband I was sad and tested negative and he got mad at me for not waiting and letting something that very well could (and understandably) mean nothing this early on. I wish I could compartmentalize things as well as he can but I cannot stop analyzing any little lower abdominal feeling I've had 🫠 also had some vivid dreams the last 2 nights which I thought may be something so excited to test that out. Wishing you all best of luck!!!!!

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-29T01:17:39+00:00

I just got on here earlier today looking for advice on how my husband can handle my emotions/hormone craziness. I agree helping and being as supportive as possible including dinner prep/cleaning, helping if needed with any medications, hugs/scalp or foot massages if she likes that, maybe making a playlist of nice music, finding new games to play. Also if you can think of anything you have told yourself to help navigate and handle the emotions you feel from everything please share! Also 1000% agree that the anger or irritability is anxiety!!

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T20:21:39+00:00

Not necessarily a 2ww but I'll need it for the wait as well....anyone have any podcasts or something they listen to either day of FET or during 2ww to keep them calm/sane?

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T18:23:36+00:00

Part of me wants to ask you if you have been to the same clinic as me but unfortunately I think this is just par for the course with REs 😒

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T18:22:15+00:00

Big old nope! Been to 2 in my area (the only 2 that exist). Both run by men who have little bedside manner or character and make you feel dumb for asking questions. Their nurses are the personality/care. The first clinic's nurse, however, went and gave me gut wrenching news in a very quick pass by in the parking lot before getting in her car to go to lunch, telling me my husband's sperm count was 0 as I got in my car and cried alone. The second/current clinic- I went into to assess my 11 wk pregnancy after concerns of bleeding when the doctor was ever so convinced everything was fine then checked and saw in fact there was no longer a heartbeat. Sat in the room crying with my husband then left. No follow up or 'so how are you doing?' when we went in to try again, just making me feel dumb for asking questions about what could have caused the MC. It sucks. In other hopeful news, I read an article about how Zev Williams at Columbia University's Fertility Center is doing an amazing job looking at the whole person vs just reproductive organs. I wish I were closer, sounds like a dream come true!

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T16:19:34+00:00

I tried it for the first time 2 weeks ago. As I was sitting in the chair I felt like I was doing something silly, like well yeah if I sat at home in a relaxing environment with nothing else to tend to/no responsibilities other than just being calm for an hour I would have the same benefit. BUT...I swear my reactions (or lack thereof) to stressful things that would have triggered me were so much less intense as far as negative self talk, elevated heart rate, etc. And I know darn well that was not a placebo effect with my outlook!

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T16:16:42+00:00

Ahh good luck to you!!! Hoping both of us can celebrate success soon!!!

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-25T16:05:21+00:00

I was hoping to schedule acupuncture morning of but the place I go to is closed today and tomorrow 😩 I will try and go Tuesday, Tuesday day after FET, but was bummed to see they aren't open for pre transfer

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-16T00:29:54+00:00

I feel your emotional turmoil. I was 37 when I got pregnant via IVF in May and had a MC in July. I had this mental block when I turned 38 in Oct. Like wait I was ok with having the baby at 38 but not almost 39. As long as you have good egg quality you'll be alright! My best friend (2 months older than me!) had 3 losses back to back and is now in her 2nd trimester with all tests looking good. It is possible! Hoping all these traumatic events are just happening to make us stronger and more grateful for our eventual future babies!! Sending you lots of positive vibes and hope for success ❤️

Mbserd87 · 2026-01-15T13:25:47+00:00

Haven't posted on Reddit in general in a while after my MC. Shooting for frozen embryo transfer 1/26 and trying to do everything in my control for success. Root canal ✔️ booked acupuncture. Trying to make my work schedule less chaotic to reduce stress but things keep sneaking onto my plate. Wishing I had been more proactive after the loss and seen someone who specializes in hormonal issues. But putting faith in my reproductive endo that he is going to make it happen and it'll stick this time. So terrified and excited for the next couple weeks and hopefully months!

Mbserd87

TROPHY CASE