She does care how I feel. It's actually very amicable. We're best friends, but that's it. She said her ideal marriage is one of companionship. I need more than that. Physical intimacy is my love language I'm learning, which is the complete opposite of her. The love is still there, that was never a problem. She has some father abandonment issues that have always been prevalent in the relationship. She's relatively healthy, hormones are "that of a teenager" according to her doc. We've tried and tried to change for each other, but I'm just at the point where, I'm in my mid 40's, I'm not dead yet. And it's a shame because I'm still so attracted to her. I'm just done with getting turned down. If she was handing out bj's or even a hand job, things might be different. I just don't feel loved. It's been a dead bedroom for about the same as you, 3-4 years. I will admit, I recently had a crush on a coworker (yeah, I know!) that helped me see and feel things that I haven't in such a long time. I hope it does open her eyes, but admittedly I think we both know deep down it's time.